SwimOdin

My DM called me on my cell phone asking if I had symptoms. That was fun.

I’m a bit freaked out by it. My Mom may have been exposed to it (privacy laws don’t allow her to know whom at her work place has it). Fuck.

Post wisdom tooth surgery, eating solid food for the first time and getting it inside one of the holes...

LIFE IS HARD FOR INSANEFOX

When it’s busy at work I drink two cups before I leave the house, one on the way, and one in the afternoon. It’s terribly unhealthy, especially for me, but it’s basically a survival tactic.

To pat I bequeath my colon

FUCK

No because fuck. I will this year. I haven’t had the flu in almost 30 years but I’m not ducking around anymore.

I hope I can go to work on Monday, because it means I’ll be over the FUCKING FLU. SHIT SUCKS.

SHIT SUCKS

The port was alive with strange faces. It was dawn by the time he found an old salt willing to part with a vessel for what bullion he had left, a cutter with a Bermuda rig called the Merciful, the sails ragged and ripped, its compass cracked, its rotten hull just barely able to cut the breakers. But it would be enough to make his escape. It wasn't for another hour, when he was a mile from the docks, that his thoughts turned back to her, he imagined her alone. By then, she would have searched the house and found it empty. She had suspected it all along, and now she knew, he was a coward. A coward dressed in the uniform of a brave man. Brave enough to cross two oceans and a continent to find her, to fight countless enemies, and yet, in the end he was terrified. Terrified of her. To lie beside her, to be comforted by her as he wept, to show her he was small, for her to know that and touch his cheek and whisper words softly into his ear, all of that was a nightmare. All he knew to do was run. But now, here, he was free. He took a deep breath of the air, tasting the salt on his tongue and closed his eyes, leaning into the spray as the Merciful picked up speed and sailed for the horizon. He was alone and all was well, he did not have her and he did not want her, he had this, and this was enough. Always, he would have the sea.

I hope they both die in a fire, painlessly

Sobriety is for quitters

I was on a hysterectomy malpractice suit. It was as sexy as it sounds.

Alocohololhol

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I am mayonnaise made flesh

Horrifying

It’s been ok. I have occasional flair ups but it’s never been as bad as 2009-2011. My wife has colitis and it’s been pretty terrible for her lately. im sorry about your anxiety, it’s why I drink. which is a terrible thing. america

Do drugs

I’m sure there’s gonna be SOME country or unincorporated land.

I love titties.