-Kudasai-

Traded in his chicken suit for a Santa suit with the hopes of getting Olive Garden waiters to sit on his lap.

My first time doing laundry at home in months so you better believe that I'm going to hog that bitch

I'm cooking chili mac and cheese in the crockpot

Only dates women who are good at Scrabble

Lights firecrackers and puts them inside the Jack-O-Lanters on people's porches in his neighborhood

serious answer, a single t-bone and the two leftover baked popatoes from last night

Nicotine, Red Bull and shame

Types like this after too much caffeine

I find trolling more fun in person than on the Internet.

Goes to hockey games just to collect the teeth off the ice so he can put them under his pillow with hope of getting some money from the tooth fairy

Has started a petition to get the NHL to bring back the Atlanta Thrashers

Whenever I see a kid playing around with a balloon I get really tense knowing that it can pop any moment. or for that matter someone blowing one up. The sound of thunder terrifies me. Whenever I see lightning I immediately cover my ears because I know what's coming next. And fireworks I make it a point to never be outdoors when it's around the fourth. If I have to go outside I put bluetooth with the loudest music I can find plus I put on my big headphones with it, it's just hell, shit I can't even use a gun because of the pop. I think it's called Phonophobia or something like that.

Slamming doors, if I come home in a bad mood I'm slamming that son of a bitch

Is currently in rehab for his chocolate blueberry cake addiction

Tried to put a saddle on a horsefly

Watched too much Popeye as a kid and because of that constantly mutters under his breath.

For reason only known to him keeps a meat grinder in his bedroom.