Lynnrael

WpHlCLD.mp4

I did not want to stop sleeping today. it's hard to say why, like being awake isn't that bad, and i wasn't having amazing dreams or anything (maybe i was, I don't remember), but i just really really liked being asleep and wanted to never stop doing that. i did get up eventually, but i still kinda wish i sleeping right now.

i only have the one sports bra for the gym, i need more but they cost money and the process of finding one that fits is not fun. i definitely need to buy more because it's kinda obvious even though i pretty much always boy mode at work. the emotional changes are fun. honestly i love how often i can make myself cry happy tears after trying not to feel anything for so long. it can be rough though, i had to grieve a lot of things i thought i was done grieving because all the feelings are so much harder to ignore. its a good thing, but still difficult at times.

same here, i was always chubby as a teen and had gynecomastia too, so i kinda never wanted to take my shirt off around others in the first place either.

i already feel pretty weird about being topless around others and, well, i just thought of it as topless so i guess I'm already there. for me it started as soon as my boobs started getting really tender and i could feel them growing. that tenderness made it so much more real, i guess. it's one thing to know you'll have boobs but it's a whole different thing to feel them growing.

not a meme but this exchange was too great not to share:

this would devastate the UEMB community, wouldn't it?

the top comment on that is hilarious

it's been a long time since I've had any of those dreams but holy shit they would freak me out lol

i feel my mixed heritage the most when i hear white people say Chorizo

probably just seeing my sister and her kid. not really anything else i miss from SoCal, honestly. i probably won't be able to find the cool gray market weed shops to buy shrooms when i go back, so that's out(and we're growing our own). Colorado has decent Mexican food too, so i don't miss that too badly.

this 5 gram disposable hits like a fucking train. Idk if it was a good idea to buy it, but it's getting the job done alright

congratulations!

Operation "trick myself into being more creative" has been weirdly successful. I'm doing things i haven't really tried to do since i was a teen, if not longer. A lot of it is probably due to hrt and transitioning, but over the past few weeks I've been watching a lot of stuff by really creative YouTubers that do a lot of analysis videos about a variety of interesting stories. Schnee is really cool, and has a lot of fun videos analyzing Arcane, and some about the Across the spiderverse movie. Then FD Signifier made that video about making it as a YouTuber who makes video essays. I don't really want to be successful, but I'm interested in making them for fun, so that was cool, but that's where I found out about CJtheX. They are so insightful and their videos are chaotic and fun but also compelling and thought provoking. They talk a lot about creativity and what makes good art, and it's really inspired me. The other week i thought to myself "I deserve to create things" and when the idea for that story popped into my head i just had to write it. and now I'm having more ideas. i got possessed with making a good story and came up with a few really interesting ideas and have started writing the next part. it might take a while to finish but I'm actually getting that "what happens next?" feeling that i get when i read a good story. being able to feel that about my own story is amazingly empowering. shit, i got carried away. TLDR: I'm getting to do basic creative things I never felt like i could do before and it's cool as fuck