wacky1980

i mean, they're kinda phallic if you think about it...

if you've been alive anytime in the last few weeks, you've probably seen those alcoholic push pops selling online at $100 for eight. well, that's a fucking rip-off. but the idea is clever enough that we thought we'd try to duplicate them and sell them at the bar. so we spent the last week working on a recipe for our first one, and i think it's ready to go. the consistency after being frozen is the toughest part to get right, because the slushy goodness needs to be soft enough to eat without utensils, but solid enough that it can be pushed out of its cup and still hold its shape. after a few batches, we settled in on a recipe that hits all the check boxes and is pretty tasty to boot. anyways, the recipe: 1 lb fruit, cut up and frozen (we used a mix of peaches, pineapples, mango, and strawberries) 4 oz simple syrup 6 oz vodka (avoid the cheap stuff, it makes a huge difference) combine all ingredients in a blender and mix until smooth. immediately pour mix into push pop moulds, cap, and put in the freezer upright overnight. makes eight 3-oz push pop servings. oh, the push pop cups are on amazon. they're kinda chintzy but they only cost like $12 for two dozen. if you don't freeze the fruit, the mix is too runny when you add it to the push pop and it runs out the bottom (also, freezing the fruit first kinda helps with the consistency). our total cost for a single batch comes out to about $30, or $1.25 each (including the containers and all ingredients). the push pops are technically reusable, but we're not gonna do that when we sell them in the bar. nutritional data (as made from the above recipe): 10% ABV, 100 calories. if you want to boost the alcohol, add 9oz of vodka for a 15% ABV treat at 125 calories per.

are you two related?

it's not great. also not completely horrible. slightly better than the 'ritas. it has its place on the liquor store shelf, just not in my fridge.

bottled this bad boy last night. as predicted, gravity didn't hit its mark. was supposed to come down from 1.062 to 1.014 and it ended up at about 1.028, which should make for a beer with approx 4.5%ABV instead of the 6.3% we were aiming for. the taste was affected by the shitty fermentation as well. the beer ended up maltier than intended. regardless, the fancy hops did their thing. sampling it last night didn't really do it justice because it was warm and also not carbonated, but the hop flavor was interesting. i could taste coconut and mint, and maybe even a little bit of blue cheese funk. we ended up with a case of 12oz bottles and a 12-pack of swing-top pint bottles. gotta let it carbonate in the bottle for another week or so, then it will be ready to chill and drink. even though we didn't get the fermentation right, i'm still excited because this is my first original recipe brew. hope it's ready to drink on the 4th...

happy mortality reminder day! have you stopped counting yet?

makeup may be a need, but ulta is a want imho. regardless, if she wants it, i don't stop her. i have to be honest though, she's never outright said "no" when i talk about buying another gun. she just gives me the look, and i know it's not worth the battle that will ensue. but i'm about 90% of the way there on getting her to accept that new cc handgun, and that also means i get to pick one up for myself. that's how it generally works. i can get myself something nice, as long as i get her something nice as well. happy wife, etc etc. plus, i have other SHTF weapons that will be a lot more useful after the ammo runs out.

we both own firearms, and she's agreed to pick up her cc permit with a ruger lc9 i'm gonna buy her later this summer. she just says i don't need more of them. well mama, you don't need more makeup either, but i'm not stopping you from hitting up ulta once a month.

can you talk to my wife about firearms? i need her to think like this.

nothx. i don't wanna die in some bolivian brothel with a guy who likes to put inanimate objects in his rectum. actually, now that i think about it...

see, this is why my brain went there.

i was assuming more of the deviant sexual abuse and shit, but yeah, obesity. that works.

god damn this shit. i read that as "precious" and of course we all know where that led.

but i would though.

nice. next time i'm thru your neck, i'm gonna pop into the cccandy store and pick me up a permit too.

illi requires you to take a training course for cc, but not for the regular foid card. finding a training course with openings is probably the hardest part of the entire process right now.

there's always one fuck-up in any project i take on at the bank. always one thing that delays a launch significantly, or breaks a particular piece of hw/sw or something. i was sure i finally had my first 100% fuck-up-free project the other day with a new ATM bring-live. everything went well with the old ATM removal, rigging in the new ATM, and all the network setup. we got thru the config on the new machine in about 20 minutes, and the network pushed down a load with no issues. *pop*, the ATM was live. amazing. i went out front to test it out. balance inquiry worked. balance transfer worked. cash withdrawal...failed. i heard the bills get pulled from the cassettes and get dropped into the dispenser...and nothing. so we checked our config and tried again. still nothing. bills get 1/2" from the customer's hand, but the dispenser sits quietly for a few seconds before pulling the bills back in and sending them to the reject bin. no explanation. so we called the manufacturer for support. after a good hour on the phone going through settings and testing this and that, some genius over there at hyosung usa asks for software package versions. and can you fucking believe it, there's a package installed on this machine -- by the god damned manufacturer -- that causes a communication issue between the card reader and the dispenser. their own fucking hardware. doesn't fucking work. because of their own fucking software. and they sent this brick out into the wild. it took me almost two weeks to get a new bundle of software to reinstall this machine back up from scratch. yeah, there's not a patch that can fix this. we have to wipe the entire core and reinstall every single package from scratch, then re-config and hope we got it all exactly right. five fucking discs worth of data, that is all supposed to be loaded and tested before it ever gets out of their warehouse. tomorrow is gonna be one of those days when i have to decide just how much i want to keep working this job.

i own your beach, sucka.

sorry, didn't know you were more a jet li "the one" type. the story wasn't as strong, but the choreography was superior. i'll give ya that much.

the point is, stfu fuggs.

like, in a neo from "the matrix" sense? you're probably right, but that's neither here nor there.

your first date was staged. or was it your last date? or were those dates the same thing?

stop trying to help.

fucking really? you ever have a package stolen from your front porch?

also, now i'm looking forward to watching the blow-covered hookers scatter like cockroaches at 4am. don't disappoint us, man.