ITasteLikeSex

All I’m saying is I’m short and we could make this picture reality.

South Carolina destroyed by magnitude 69 earthquake. Black woman in bath tub found at the epicenter.

This is you soon

In this afternoons dream I was at a nice hotel. In the lobby was a business woman behind a desk. She was part of some new Silicon Valley startup. I was asked to participate in one of their early trial runs which was literally just banging a hooker. Me: This is just hookers. Hookers have been around forever. Her: No, it’s- Me: If you’re hooking people up and taking a cut that makes you a pimp Her: I am NOT a pimp! Me: Literally a pimp Her: I’m going to backhand you Me: That’s what a pimp would say

Get her a real sewing machine

The fuck are you talking about? It’s a reasonable hypothesis that we’re one of the first space faring civilizations.

No

Nice boobs, boober mcboobington

I am the greetest and am leaving for no raisin

nt

Which of these won’t make me go into a blinding rage?

So you’re saying you’re thiccccccccccccc

Somehow I ended up on a crowded beach in California. I was talking very loudly about how weird Californians are. Some got mad at me for that. Then I decided since all these people are already mad to yell EAST COAST BEAST COAST and then everyone was ultra mad. They were trying to chase me but I escaped. Then for some reason I was at a Taco Bell playing YuGiOh.

You probably look like a potato anyway. Better to be an exercising potato than a couch potato.

Talk to a doctor? Get drunk? Both viable solutions.

Probably hypnagogic hallucinations. I’ve had them as long as I can remember. They’re basically harmless but annoying as fuck.

Frasier Crane starts new sitcom called Kelsey

FIGHT THE POWER

If they don’t find him he could be toast

If the account is shared then is it a joint?

Then I’ll make it IB. This project will be named IB Syndrome.

Looks like he slipped away

Government says it’s not a drug unlike the evil marijuana

Go to bed