Jump to content
UnevenEdge

I just had the worst sex of my life


That_One_Guy

Recommended Posts

8 hours ago, HardcoreHunter said:

Nothin wrong with that. 

Probably still better than some of mine. Worst physical wise was like 3 weeks after my hernia surgery. Went out to the bar and met up with some 8 who I assume has no real standards or really just wanted dick. Either way wasn't passing it up just kicked back some drinks and hoped it wouldn't kill my erection later, but still numb some of the pain I felt. Word from the wise, do not ever have sex if you feel pain in your pelvis and abdomen. It just went to shit quick with thrusting. I was like Ah fuck, this ain't working.

So she got on top, and it still hurt like hell because she's just bouncing on my pelvis. Then the pain is just making it impossible for me to get off. After a couple of hours she's come a bunch, I haven't. I try to fake it, but then she's like oh blow it on my face....I'm like god damn it. So now I'm just cranking my dick for like 20 mins before I blow, most of it just shoots over her head and against the damn dresser and hits some of our clothes since I hadn't done anything in weeks. Then it just kept going, It was like you just took a whole large egg and smashed it on this pour girls face.  Then she goes to the bathroom I just get my shit and bounce. Drive home, and I can not stand up out of my car. My whole abdominal region has ceased to function no matter how hard I tried to stand.  So I just pass out behind the wheel in my cum stained clothes. Then when I wake up I find the strength to get into the house. 

 

That's the worst/best story ever

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Radical Left said:

I know what you mean, I can't perform under obligation and it's just all around bad for everyone.  This chick had been trying to give me some for years and I just wasn't into it...She was attractive when we met, but before I hit, she had got out there bad on xans, and her weight loss did not help her.  

Anyway, she kinda backed me into a corner and I felt bad for her (looooooot of shit when wrong for her all at once and none of it was drug related...Just a string of the shittiest luck I've ever seen first hand)....Like, I wanted to help her get out of the situation she was in...Not toss her some dick, but LSS, I could never achieve full wood, and it just made her feel worse.  I wound up leaving, getting drunk, and then I was horny and able to fly, but afterwards, I didn't feel accomplished...I felt more like "well, that's out of the way".  

We had sex like 3 times after that, but it was always after her crying and "needing a friend" and all that shit so I would have to get wasted just to even want to do it....I was so happy when she told me she was moving, but had to pretend I was devastated....She still calls and texts but i told her I was back with one of my exes and she's scared of her, so that's buying me some time because she's always like "Next time I come thru, we should have dinner and drinks" and I'm like "Can't get away right now"

That's pretty much would I had going on but I definitely won't be having sex with this girl again. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Radical Left said:

I know what you mean, I can't perform under obligation and it's just all around bad for everyone.  This chick had been trying to give me some for years and I just wasn't into it...She was attractive when we met, but before I hit, she had got out there bad on xans, and her weight loss did not help her.  

Anyway, she kinda backed me into a corner and I felt bad for her (looooooot of shit when wrong for her all at once and none of it was drug related...Just a string of the shittiest luck I've ever seen first hand)....Like, I wanted to help her get out of the situation she was in...Not toss her some dick, but LSS, I could never achieve full wood, and it just made her feel worse.  I wound up leaving, getting drunk, and then I was horny and able to fly, but afterwards, I didn't feel accomplished...I felt more like "well, that's out of the way".  

We had sex like 3 times after that, but it was always after her crying and "needing a friend" and all that shit so I would have to get wasted just to even want to do it....I was so happy when she told me she was moving, but had to pretend I was devastated....She still calls and texts but i told her I was back with one of my exes and she's scared of her, so that's buying me some time because she's always like "Next time I come thru, we should have dinner and drinks" and I'm like "Can't get away right now"

What in god's name is this, are you stuck in the anti-friend zone? Is that a thing?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, That_One_Guy said:

That's the worst/best story ever

 I have friends who also have worst best stories that probably beat mine. 

One friend would pretty much always piss himself when he'd get black out drunk. He ended up hooking up with some girl. She calls him and is like crying apologizing. Apparently after they fucked and passed he pissed himself; but woke up at some point in her soaked bed and left. What she thought that happened though is that she pissed the bed and he was so disgusted by it that he left. So he was just rolling with that and was like yeah it was pretty gross. 

My dads one friend at a party years back was cheating on his wife, and just fucking some girl on the back deck. His wife shows up and is like WTF you sob etc. Without missing a beat he's just like who the fuck are you, you crazy cunt I've never met you before in my life. He keeps this going to the point that they take him to the hospital and diagnose him with amnesia. He had to see doctors and therapists for over a year to try and pretend that he was remembering his wife. It was all fake, but she bought it and they're still married. 

Lots of fun/horrible stories like that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

What in god's name is this, are you stuck in the anti-friend zone? Is that a thing?

It's not difficult, man...Y'all make it difficult.  I'm no Adonis, but I act like I am, Some people are convinced that being a dick means I'm just brutally honest.....I'm funny and women like decisiveness.....And I want you to pay attention here, she's an ex "pretty girl" who is 40, twice divorced, had an abusive boyfriend, and lost a lot after she got hooked on pain killers....Not to mention, I'm leaving some more personal shit out here.

Point is, this chick was broken, needed attention, and I didn't want her.  All she's ever known is her looks and her body, and the only attention she thinks counts is sexual....Like, no matter now much I didn't want it, she needed me to have it...Not because I'm sexy af...But becauses she's vapid.  

This isn't a conquest, this isn't me likening her to women I've actually had to pursue that I desired....The is me and apparently TOG sharing experiences where we had bad sex with women we weren't into.  I know to you, this might seem like a dream, but trust me...It's not.  

Dude, I've been in so many friendzones...but those aren't defeats, they're just reasons to move to the next one....I mean, if you like, I can tell you tales of me getting shut down....I have more of those than victory tales....But I don't hate myself and don't feel like they define me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, cyberbully said:

It's not difficult, man...Y'all make it difficult.  I'm no Adonis, but I act like I am, Some people are convinced that being a dick means I'm just brutally honest.....I'm funny and women like decisiveness.....And I want you to pay attention here, she's an ex "pretty girl" who is 40, twice divorced, had an abusive boyfriend, and lost a lot after she got hooked on pain killers....Not to mention, I'm leaving some more personal shit out here.

Point is, this chick was broken, needed attention, and I didn't want her.  All she's ever known is her looks and her body, and the only attention she thinks counts is sexual....Like, no matter now much I didn't want it, she needed me to have it...Not because I'm sexy af...But becauses she's vapid.  

This isn't a conquest, this isn't me likening her to women I've actually had to pursue that I desired....The is me and apparently TOG sharing experiences where we had bad sex with women we weren't into.  I know to you, this might seem like a dream, but trust me...It's not.  

Dude, I've been in so many friendzones...but those aren't defeats, they're just reasons to move to the next one....I mean, if you like, I can tell you tales of me getting shut down....I have more of those than victory tales....But I don't hate myself and don't feel like they define me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not envious of that at all and I was not wishing I had that problem. It just literally sounds like Bizarro-world friendzone. Especially that bit where she's crying to you that she just needs a friend.... That's like the friendzoned dude being the chick's shoulder to cry on.... but you get sex with her..... but you don't want it.... but you somehow feel trapped / obligated into it.... and the only way to escape is to avoid her.

I just figured with most guys, it wasn't hard to cut women who weren't their s/o's off from sex when you really don't want it from them.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 hours ago, cyberbully said:

It's not difficult, man...Y'all make it difficult.  I'm no Adonis, but I act like I am, Some people are convinced that being a dick means I'm just brutally honest.....I'm funny and women like decisiveness.....And I want you to pay attention here, she's an ex "pretty girl" who is 40, twice divorced, had an abusive boyfriend, and lost a lot after she got hooked on pain killers....Not to mention, I'm leaving some more personal shit out here.

Point is, this chick was broken, needed attention, and I didn't want her.  All she's ever known is her looks and her body, and the only attention she thinks counts is sexual....Like, no matter now much I didn't want it, she needed me to have it...Not because I'm sexy af...But becauses she's vapid.  

This isn't a conquest, this isn't me likening her to women I've actually had to pursue that I desired....The is me and apparently TOG sharing experiences where we had bad sex with women we weren't into.  I know to you, this might seem like a dream, but trust me...It's not.  

Dude, I've been in so many friendzones...but those aren't defeats, they're just reasons to move to the next one....I mean, if you like, I can tell you tales of me getting shut down....I have more of those than victory tales....But I don't hate myself and don't feel like they define me.

It's not difficult because you have the natural personality for it.  Most dudes do not have your ...gift.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Been there man.

I lost an erection mid penetration, because I had a wall mirror, and I looked at myself and asked what the heck was I doing...no amount of oral brought it back. She smelled like a Monster energy drink that someone used as an ashtray. Definitely a low point.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

 

I just figured with most guys, it wasn't hard to cut women who weren't their s/o's off from sex when you really don't want it from them.

Well, it IS easy for some guys because they are unfeeling assholes who thinks a woman's worth is in her pants.  I'm actually that nice medium between complete dick and nice guy....I generally don't like hurting women, even if they hurt me first...But some women are just broken to the point that they create relationships they are familiar with, and I don't exactly feel like being a neglectful asshole...But I am.  I'm reclusive yet charismatic....I really just like to be left alone 80% of the time and the 20% that I'm in need of companionship is just tough to deal with because "look, I'm not going to cheat, but I need you to go away for a few weeks" doesn't go over well with most people.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...