BIPOLAR/ DEPRESSION

[fuggstop]

Im realizing that when my anxiety or depression somehow pushes its way thru all my meds...the feeling are extremely painful.  Like having a knife in your chest...but the knife is lodged in there and youve just gotten used to it. 

Imagine feeling as if you lost your best friend and your favorite grandma died FOR NO REASON. Nothing is wrong..u just feel like crap.

Imagine trying to function feeling like that all day....how hard it is concentrate..think clearly...do simple tasks.

I didnt realize how much i suffered before my meds. That feeling intense irritability and rage 24/7 wasnt normal. That i was seeking relief constantly from all that pain. Having it all and barely enjoying it because i was too sick. 

What am i missing out on now?

And after almost 30 years of being emotionally crippled, i dont know how to be "normal" or stop living my life as if im still all fucked up lol

There should be some kind of life instructions for people after they find meds that work.

I find myself just caught in old crazy habits i cant break....small example...i cant turn on my tv in the middle of the night and i cant sleep. I literally cannot. I just feel really uncomfortable doing it.

.like i need to be fully aware of my surroundings at nite.

[Zenigundam]

You're thinking too much imo

You're posting like I used to throughout the 2000s

[Phillies]

how often do your bipolar symptoms return? 

Its normal for the medication to "fail" sometimes. The meds are not suppost suppost to work 100% of the time. Some people get lucky.

Me personally the meds would work fine, except there are too many goddamn side effects even at low dosages.  So I get fucked with the BBC either way you look at it. 

There is always shock therapy. 

[fuggstop]

10 minutes ago, Phillies said:

how often do your bipolar symptoms return? 

Its normal for the medication to "fail" sometimes. The meds are not suppost suppost to work 100% of the time. Some people get lucky.

Me personally the meds would work fine, except there are too many goddamn side effects even at low dosages.  So I get fucked with the BBC either way you look at it. 

There is always shock therapy. 

Typical month for me

Green days are good

I feel as if im still extremely easily triggered.  Like if something goes wrong or happens outside my routine. But them theres days i just feel crappy or am manic and cant sleep 

Every time i pick up my meds the pharmacist has to come over and tell me the dosage and mix is a risk. So i def don't want the meds increased. Im getting FMLA next month to be able to go to my therapist more often and take more breaks.

You saw the long list of meds ive tried. I was heading to electric shock therapy for real.

Are u interested in the ketamine treatments that were just approved? 

Im definitely gonna try cbd oil once SC makes up their mind.

[stilgar]

No one cares.

[Clu]

Have you tried swan diving off a bridge.... In to water?

[Phillies]

1 hour ago, fuggstop said:

Typical month for me

Green days are good

I feel as if im still extremely easily triggered.  Like if something goes wrong or happens outside my routine. But them theres days i just feel crappy or am manic and cant sleep 

Every time i pick up my meds the pharmacist has to come over and tell me the dosage and mix is a risk. So i def don't want the meds increased. Im getting FMLA next month to be able to go to my therapist more often and take more breaks.

You saw the long list of meds ive tried. I was heading to electric shock therapy for real.

Are u interested in the ketamine treatments that were just approved? 

Im definitely gonna try cbd oil once SC makes up their mind.

Green days seem pretty good I think you got enough green days there.

Problem with Ketamine is it doesn't do any good for Manic symptoms.  manic symptoms can lead to depression. ketamine isn't going to solve everyone's problems. its hit or miss on depression. 

 

 

[Phillies]

29 minutes ago, Clu said:

Have you tried swan diving off a bridge.... In to water?

the tidal wave could do alot of damage

[cyberbully]

And yet it hasn't done what its supposed to do.

[fuggstop]

3 hours ago, cyberbully said:

And yet it hasn't done what its supposed to do.

I have real problems and i dont drink or drug them away like the weak ass bitch you are. Youre way closer to your demise than ill ever be. Become obsessed with that, loser.

Edited March 28, 2019 by fuggstop

[cyberbully]

 

[midnight]

If your drug combination is a risk, and the dosage, then your doctor is an idiot. 

Just smoke weed. There is no shortage of it in SC. 

[fuggstop]

11 hours ago, Phillies said:

Green days seem pretty good I think you got enough green days there.

Problem with Ketamine is it doesn't do any good for Manic symptoms.  manic symptoms can lead to depression. ketamine isn't going to solve everyone's problems. its hit or miss on depression. 

 

 

I see people post theyre completely depression free. I want that.

[fuggstop]

10 minutes ago, midnight said:

If your drug combination is a risk, and the dosage, then your doctor is an idiot. 

Just smoke weed. There is no shortage of it in SC. 

I will when medicinal is legal. Should happen soon.

[mthor]

42 minutes ago, fuggstop said:

I see people post theyre completely depression free. I want that.

What would you consider depression free?

[midnight]

1 hour ago, fuggstop said:

I will when medicinal is legal. Should happen soon.

I don't wait for shit like that to happen. You live in the south like I do. Red states will take forever to pass it. I smoke for anxiety reasons. I'm not depressed, but I have terrible anxiety. It really does help. It also helps with an upset stomach, which I suffer from frequently. I don't care for the taste of weed, and I don't smoke it to get high. I smoke it for those two reasons. I've tried everything there is to offer, and nothing levels me off like marijuana does. I know you have to worry about random drug tests, so I get why you don't smoke it, but at the same time, it's a double edged sword. Smoke it and feel better, but risk getting fired, or don't smoke it, and feel bad. 

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

1 hour ago, midnight said:

If your drug combination is a risk, and the dosage, then your doctor is an idiot. 

 

I agree with this.

I haven't myself tried CBD oil, but I would like to. I don't want to "do pot" but CBD oil is (sometimes?) THC free, so I would THINK that wouldn't threaten your job.

[fuggstop]

1 hour ago, mthor said:

What would you consider depression free?

No purple or grey days for no reason. 

[fuggstop]

38 minutes ago, midnight said:

I don't wait for shit like that to happen. You live in the south like I do. Red states will take forever to pass it. I smoke for anxiety reasons. I'm not depressed, but I have terrible anxiety. It really does help. It also helps with an upset stomach, which I suffer from frequently. I don't care for the taste of weed, and I don't smoke it to get high. I smoke it for those two reasons. I've tried everything there is to offer, and nothing levels me off like marijuana does. I know you have to worry about random drug tests, so I get why you don't smoke it, but at the same time, it's a double edged sword. Smoke it and feel better, but risk getting fired, or don't smoke it, and feel bad. 

I feel ok most days its not worth the risk

[fuggstop]

5 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

I agree with this.

I haven't myself tried CBD oil, but I would like to. I don't want to "do pot" but CBD oil is (sometimes?) THC free, so I would THINK that wouldn't threaten your job.

Ditto

[Phillies]

2 hours ago, mthor said:

What would you consider depression free?

not laying in bed like a beached wale

 

[mthor]

Just now, Phillies said:

not laying in bed like a beached wale

 

I feel you - I'm at the point where getting dressed two days in a row is an excellent week.

[Phillies]

Just now, mthor said:

I feel you - I'm at the point where getting dressed two days in a row is an excellent week.

I'm starting to find the side effects are as bad as the bipolar. There is a fine line here at what doseage I can take. I guess everyone is different.

 

[mthor]

Just now, Phillies said:

I'm starting to find the side effects are as bad as the bipolar. There is a fine line here at what doseage I can take. I guess everyone is different.

 

I think it's a case of choose your poison.

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

4 minutes ago, Phillies said:

not laying in bed like a beached wale

 

At my worst depression I didn't want to get out of bed even when there was no reason for me to sleep and I was not tired in the slightest.

[fuggstop]

17 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

At my worst depression I didn't want to get out of bed even when there was no reason for me to sleep and I was not tired in the slightest.

I didn't know it was depression but i slept my entire teenage age years away. If i wasn't at school work or band practice, i was asleep. Had lots of friends but barely saw them partially due to my overprotective dad.

The older i got the more manic id be so id just be up all night chatting online or on the phone with nin message board peeps.

[Phillies]

20 hours ago, mthor said:

I think it's a case of choose your poison.

I mean you would think the medical community would come up with something better at this point. Lithium is probably 70 or 80 years old at this point.

Think we should start a protest? We can use the internet. THE NEED FOR BETTER BIPOLAR MEDICATIONS. But who would listen to us?

[Phillies]

2 hours ago, fuggstop said:

I didn't know it was depression but i slept my entire teenage age years away. If i wasn't at school work or band practice, i was asleep. Had lots of friends but barely saw them partially due to my overprotective dad.

The older i got the more manic id be so id just be up all night chatting online or on the phone with nin message board peeps.

Yeah similar thing happened to me, strangely though one study says as we bipolar folks get older most of the mania becomes either depression or mixed state.

[Phillies]

20 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

At my worst depression I didn't want to get out of bed even when there was no reason for me to sleep and I was not tired in the slightest.

I actually don't get as much "depression". Its kind of like this "restless anxious depression" where I feel depressed but my thoughts are moving at a 1000 miles per hour. 

[fuggstop]

1 minute ago, Phillies said:

Yeah similar thing happened to me, strangely though one study says as we bipolar folks get older most of the mania becomes either depression or mixed state.

Omg mixed episodes are so fucked up.

I wanna sleep and run a mile and punch people and cry all at the same time.

I had that issue for awhile last year and had my meds increased. Fuck that shit.

[mthor]

39 minutes ago, Phillies said:

I mean you would think the medical community would come up with something better at this point. Lithium is probably 70 or 80 years old at this point.

Think we should start a protest? We can use the internet. THE NEED FOR BETTER BIPOLAR MEDICATIONS. But who would listen to us?

Nobody. We're crazy, remember?

[Phillies]

36 minutes ago, mthor said:

Nobody. We're crazy, remember?

hmmm...  

2% of the population has bipolar. 

Somebody has got to listen to us.... 

[Sandstone]

What medications are you taking? Tolerance to some types of medications (especially psychiatric medications) can build up over time. You should talk to your psychiatrist and tell them that they are not working as well as they used to. They may try switching you to something else or changing the dosage to see if it helps.

As for nighttime restlessness, if you are not exercising regularly this can be a huge contribution to problems sleeping at night. I used to have far more problems falling asleep when I was not exercising. It can be difficult to start and also to stick to a routine, but there is no substitute in terms of managing sleep. Medications will only take you so far.

[Sandstone]

4 hours ago, Phillies said:

I mean you would think the medical community would come up with something better at this point. Lithium is probably 70 or 80 years old at this point.

Think we should start a protest? We can use the internet. THE NEED FOR BETTER BIPOLAR MEDICATIONS. But who would listen to us?

There are a literal ton of new bipolar medications. I'm not sure what you mean. Some of the newer ones are extremely effective in treating bipolar symptoms as opposed to lithium. Though Bipolar type 1 patients generally need different medications and require more thorough regimens. 

[Sandstone]

On 3/28/2019 at 7:40 AM, fuggstop said:

I will when medicinal is legal. Should happen soon.

This is an absolutely awful idea btw, do not use anything with THC if you have bipolar disorder or schizophrenia it is known to severely worsen symptoms.

[mthor]

Just now, Sandstone said:

There are a literal ton of new bipolar medications. I'm not sure what you mean. Some of the newer ones are extremely effective in treating bipolar symptoms as opposed to lithium. Though Bipolar type 1 patients generally need different medications and require more thorough regimens. 

I don't know - aren't a lot of them just different atypicals? You know, tweak a molecule here, tweak a molecule there, just to be able to patent it?

Don't get me wrong, they can be very effective, but they still have a lot of issues.

[Sandstone]

1 minute ago, mthor said:

I don't know - aren't a lot of them just different atypicals? You know, tweak a molecule here, tweak a molecule there, just to be able to patent it?

Don't get me wrong, they can be very effective, but they still have a lot of issues.

Because of the vast differences in people's brain chemistry, different molecules can in many cases make a big difference, especially when we are talking about side effects. But you are right that most of them work in the same manner. There are also genetic tests that can be run now to show contraindications for your particular genome. I had one conducted two years ago, and was taken off anti-depressants as a result because they showed adverse reaction markers. My treatment involves a very low dose of atypical antipsychotic combined with a newer form of mood stabilizer. I highly recommend anyone that is on one of the older forms of mood stabilizers (such as lithium) ask about lamotrigine. It has been a godsend to me with nearly zero side effects.

[mthor]

4 hours ago, Phillies said:

Yeah similar thing happened to me, strangely though one study says as we bipolar folks get older most of the mania becomes either depression or mixed state.

I've noticed that (although to be fair, I've had a lot of situational & medical stuff over the past few years, so I can't blame everything on bipolar. Plus I'm  middle aged, not geriatric, and I can't remember what age ranges I've seen referenced.). I don't get those random little 2 or 3 day blurps of hypomania any more, which is a real bummer when I've got a lot of cleaning or yardwork piled up.

[mthor]

10 minutes ago, Sandstone said:

Because of the vast differences in people's brain chemistry, different molecules can in many cases make a big difference, especially when we are talking about side effects. But you are right that most of them work in the same manner. There are also genetic tests that can be run now to show contraindications for your particular genome. I had one conducted two years ago, and was taken off anti-depressants as a result because they showed adverse reaction markers. My treatment involves a very low dose of atypical antipsychotic combined with a newer form of mood stabilizer. I highly recommend anyone that is on one of the older forms of mood stabilizers (such as lithium) ask about lamotrigine. It has been a godsend to me with nearly zero side effects.

I was on Lamictal back when it was still off book, you little whippersnapper. That, together with lithium, work well for me.

[Phillies]

4 hours ago, Sandstone said:

There are a literal ton of new bipolar medications. I'm not sure what you mean. Some of the newer ones are extremely effective in treating bipolar symptoms as opposed to lithium. Though Bipolar type 1 patients generally need different medications and require more thorough regimens. 

I have to disagree with you on that^ .

There is nothing new in the pipeline. There are a few new atypicals (Vraylar, Latuda, Saphris, Rexahulti) - which you might be referring too. Lithium and Depakote btw have defeated these "new meds" in some areas. The "new" meds seem to be good for the depression side- however for example Latuda has as many side effects as Geodon- nothing miraculous just different options so to speak.

[Phillies]

4 hours ago, Sandstone said:

This is an absolutely awful idea btw, do not use anything with THC if you have bipolar disorder or schizophrenia it is known to severely worsen symptoms.

I totally agree with that, and I get angry when people make it seem like weed will help bipolar. I don't know if there is even any real proof it will help epilepsy.

[scoobdog]

On 3/28/2019 at 5:39 AM, fuggstop said:

I see people post theyre completely depression free. I want that.

Those people are lying.

[zombieninjakitten]

I have bipolar type 2 disorder, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and ADHD.  The meds help to a certain extent but I also need DBT therapy.  I have good and bad days like everyone else.  It is what it is.