fuggstop Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 How's yours? Im usually great this time of year I got thru winter with virtually no SAD symptoms (guess its time to take down my happy light) I was feeling some despair around 7ish every night but i noticed even that is gone. Having virtually no dips in my mood at all fir the 1st i can remember. So i decided to keep my antidepressant dosage where its at...unless i get manicky But things are pretty even keel. Feeling great. Just bored (maybe because im not experiencing any high highs). I always mention the bad stuff. Felt id say something when i feel great. Boring..i know lol 2
fuggstop Posted March 9, 2019 Author Posted March 9, 2019 9 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said: Glad you're doing well! I'm ok I guess. Good to hear! Well plenty of sunny days ahead. You got that to look forward to! 1
midnight Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 I am fine. And I am fine too. No problems here. No problems here either. 1 4
Swimmod_Luna Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 I finally found the motivation to clean some junk off my dining room table after saying I need to do it for weeks. Still a lot of stuff on there, but now it at least doesn't give me anxiety to even look at. I can at least put the mail down on the table without it getting lost in the junk pile. Need to vacuum tomorrow. And maybe find the motivation to take down the last of my Christmas decorations some time this weekend. Maybe. Overall still pretty meh though. Had a really good day earlier this week and for a minute fooled myself into thinking maybe this most recent depressive episode was ending. Nope not quite there yet. 1 1
PhilosipherStoned Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 2 hours ago, That_One_Guy said: Glad you're doing well! I'm ok I guess. I didn't read that shit though. Hats off to any mental health professional that has to deal with your brand of WTF.
Vamped Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 Im good. Just waiting on my life to get where I want it like ...
fuggstop Posted March 9, 2019 Author Posted March 9, 2019 9 hours ago, Athena 92 said: I finally found the motivation to clean some junk off my dining room table after saying I need to do it for weeks. Still a lot of stuff on there, but now it at least doesn't give me anxiety to even look at. I can at least put the mail down on the table without it getting lost in the junk pile. Need to vacuum tomorrow. And maybe find the motivation to take down the last of my Christmas decorations some time this weekend. Maybe. Overall still pretty meh though. Had a really good day earlier this week and for a minute fooled myself into thinking maybe this most recent depressive episode was ending. Nope not quite there yet. Dont beat yourself up on not being able to do things. Youre depressed. I try to get as much done as i can doing normalcy or highs.
fuggstop Posted March 9, 2019 Author Posted March 9, 2019 3 minutes ago, Vamped said: Im good. Just waiting on my life to get where I want it like ... Enjoy life now!
bnmjy Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 IF I DON'T RECEIVE 10 POSITIVE REACTIONS TO THIS POST I WILL KILL MYSELF 1 1 2
fuggstop Posted March 9, 2019 Author Posted March 9, 2019 6 minutes ago, bnmjy said: IF I DON'T RECEIVE 10 POSITIVE REACTIONS TO THIS POST I WILL KILL MYSELF Nooo
fuggstop Posted March 9, 2019 Author Posted March 9, 2019 3 minutes ago, enad said: I saw your vulva so I'll never be well again. Now u gonna send me a dick pic. Its only fair.
CutieQuesadilla Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 My bipolar and aad is at war with themseves. Any form of relationships in my life are foreordained to fail because i have the inability to genuinely care to the extent that is necessary to sustain anything. I find it incredibly easy to leave people and nor do i care when they leave. I’m emotionally crippled and my emotional and mental growth has been stunted from child abuse and abandonment. Some days are more of a struggle than others, especially since i am not medicated due to the lack of insurance, but i’ll push through whatever i need to to exist. I disappear when i feel like i’m getting swallowed up. 1
fuggstop Posted March 9, 2019 Author Posted March 9, 2019 4 minutes ago, CutieQuesadilla said: My bipolar and aad is at war with themseves. Any form of relationships in my life are foreordained to fail because i have the inability to genuinely care to the extent that is necessary to sustain anything. I find it incredibly easy to leave people and nor do i care when they leave. I’m emotionally crippled and my emotional and mental growth has been stunted from child abuse and abandonment. Some days are more of a struggle than others, especially since i am not medicated due to the lack of insurance, but i’ll push through whatever i need to to exist. I disappear when i feel like i’m getting swallowed up. You can't even us goodrx.com to get your meds? Thats what i do if i didnt have insurance.
Phillies Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 I feel like crawling inside the hoo ha and hanging myself from the nearest ovarian support column.
nameraka Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 depressed. triggered by a thought i had about something that happened in high school of all things. someone i cared about was trying to tell me something and i was so wrapped up in my bullshit that i just didn't see it. had a sudden realization of what it was and everything just fell into place. i would have acted differently if i'd known. now it's way too late to do anything and probably too late to apologize, and it would only seem self serving if i did. apparently there's no statute of limitations on regret. fml... 1 1
Vamped Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 3 hours ago, fuggstop said: Enjoy life now! Never said I wasnt enjoying life, Im just ready to be at my next level professionally and financially 1
That_One_Guy Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 1 hour ago, nameraka said: depressed. triggered by a thought i had about something that happened in high school of all things. someone i cared about was trying to tell me something and i was so wrapped up in my bullshit that i just didn't see it. had a sudden realization of what it was and everything just fell into place. i would have acted differently if i'd known. now it's way too late to do anything and probably too late to apologize, and it would only seem self serving if i did. apparently there's no statute of limitations on regret. fml... Damn man that sounds rough. I don't know the specifics, but keep your head up dude. There's better days ahead of you.
NaBarney Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 1 hour ago, nameraka said: now it's way too late to do anything and probably too late to apologize, and it would only seem self serving if i did. U can still reach out to em and let em know u thinking about em. And that you're sorry.
nameraka Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 17 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said: Damn man that sounds rough. I don't know the specifics, but keep your head up dude. There's better days ahead of you. thanks. got good and properly drunk last night. didn't really help. i'm sure this feeling will go away in time.
nameraka Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 2 minutes ago, NaBron_James said: U can still reach out to em and let em know u thinking about em. And that you're sorry. i was thinking of reaching out just to see how they were, but i have to be careful. i don't think i can let them know that i know. it would just complicate things for them now, and i'd only be doing it to feel better. i mean, i want to feel better, but not at their expense.
NaBarney Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 2 minutes ago, onepost said: relevant so posting to "save the tree". <----- Hope ya doin alright
NSAID Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 I keep having dreams where birds attack my face and eyes, and others where I feel child-like anger. Gets me ready for anything when I wake up.
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