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ghostrek

a kagome christmas carol

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Chapter one 
The day before Christmas 

Everything was busy around the building of Godzilla tail Lounge agency the joyous activity  of the holidays 

Kagome walks into the room 

What the hell are you doing said Kagome 

Turning up the heat said Inuyasha 

Turn it down said Kagome 

Godzilla, Jr barges through the door 

Merry Christmas said,  Godzilla, Jr 

fuck off said Kagome 

Merry Christmas said Inuyasha 

What do you want said Kagome 

Invite you to my Christmas party tonight said Godzilla, Jr 

I and Inuyasha are  working late tonight said Kagome 

On Christmas Eve said Godzilla, Jr 

Yes said Kagome 

The Noise of monsters roaring 

Oh crap I am late  said Godzilla, Jr 

Godzilla, Jr runs out the door 

kagomes fellows him 

Monsters sing We, Three Kings 

Dad what the fuck are you doing said Kagome 

Singing Christmas carols said Godzilla 

Why said Kagome 

Charity for the poor Said Godzilla 

Quit before I  call the police  said Kagome 

You do know most of us are  your clients said Godzilla 

What does that mean said Kagome 

You called the police on us you're fired said Godzilla 

Kagome walks back into the building 

End of chapter 1 

Edited by ghostrek

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Chapter 2 the evening 

Kagome was walking home from work when she got too her building she thought she saw her fathers face on the door knocker 

Once in her apartment, she ate food 

And start falling asleep watching Netflix 

Kagome said a voice
Kagome said a voice again 
Kagome said a voice again being more irritated 
kagome wake up said the voice 

kagome wakes and sees her father in ghost form and covered in chains 

this what you get if you keep going down this path  said Godzilla 

Dad why are you here said Kagome 

The show you the error of your ways said Godzilla 

And what's the error of my ways said Kagome 

Not keeping Christmas in your heart said Godzilla 

Okay what's the deal with the chains said Kagome 

These are the chains I  bound myself to in life Siad Godzilla 

Why are you a ghost said Kagome 

Well I'm not really a ghost I am having an out-of-body experience because of a heart attack said Godzilla 

Okay said Kaogme 

You will be visited by three ghosts said Godzilla 

no four counting you said Kagome 

Don't be a smart-ass Said Godzilla 

End of chapter 2

Edited by ghostrek

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Chapter 3 first visitor 

Wakey wakey said  an unknown voice 

Kagome wakes up startled 

Who are you said Kagome 

I am the ghost of Christmas past but you can call me  Spike Said the ghost 

ok Spike how are you going to show me the past Said Kagome 

Follow me, Said Spike 

Kagome fellows Spike 

They go back in time 5 years ago on Christmas day

Kagome and Inuyasha in a hospital room 

Ma we lost the baby Said Kagome 

That's horrible said kagome's mom 

It was a  miscarriage Said Kagome 

Holy crap no wonder you hate Christmas said Spike 

yup Said Kagome 

you want to know about my last job said spike

sure what was is it

I was a bounty hunter in space  said spike

end  of chapter 3

Edited by ghostrek

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Chapter 4 in between visits 

How was it Said Godzilla 

It was a horrible time dad it was it was like being dragged into hell again said Kagome

why Said Godzilla 

Why you think why he showed me the Christmas that I lost the baby Said Kagome 

 Oh craps Said Godzilla 

End of chapter 4

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Chapter 5 The earthquake

Kagome was rudely awakened by the earth trembling. Typical, as it was Japan. However, unlike most of the other ignorant villagers, Kagome knew the true cause of the earthquakes.

"Daddy, you better stop fucking the giant squid again," said Kagome.

"Insolent bitch, you respect your otousan," said Gozilla.

The trembling abruptly stopped, but Kagome knew what was coming next. A tsunami swept her away, for like the thousandth time in her life. She was fortunately always prepared for them, but the villagers never were. Most of them died. Oh well, lol

End of Chapter 5.

Edited by bnmjy
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10 hours ago, bnmjy said:

Chapter 5 The earthquake

Kagome was rudely awakened by the earth trembling. Typical, as it was Japan. However, unlike most of the other ignorant villagers, Kagome knew the true cause of the earthquakes.

"Daddy, you better stop fucking the giant squid again," said Kagome.

"Insolent bitch, you respect your otousan," said Gozilla.

The trembling abruptly stopped, but Kagome knew what was coming next. A tsunami swept her away, for like the thousandth time in her life. She was fortunately always prepared for them, but the villagers never were. Most of them died. Oh well, lol

End of Chapter 5.

that not chapter 5 

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4 hours ago, PokeNirvash said:

How can Godzilla fire Kagome for calling the police on him when she only threatened him with it?

it is a counter threat 

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 Chapter 5  the Ghost of Christmas present drunk 

Hey  are you awake said unknown voice 

Spirit stop bugging me I have to get my sleep I have to work in the morning said Kagome 

That's what you say to your dead aunt said the voice 

dead aunt? aunt Misato! said Kagome 

Yup  in person I am the ghost of Christmas present said Misato 

are you drunk? said Kagome 

what if I am said Misato 

I don't want to hang out with a drunk ghost I am going to make a call said Kagome 

who are you going to call said Misato 

The Ghostbusters I am sick of this shit said Kagome 

Don't I call them I have to show you something follow me said Misato 

Okay said Kagome 

The two ladies went to  the apartment of Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and Shippo    

You should quit your job come work with me  said Miroku 

if she was here I would give her a piece of my mind she is an evil person making you work on Christmas I bet she is sleeping with some random guy or guys  said Sango 

Hey won't do that to Me said Inuyasha 

What are you two still together said Miroku 

so what we are! hey it's nice to see shippo going to church said Inuyasha 

shippo walks in very sick 

Inuyasha stay on topic  are you and Kagome still together said shippo 

yes said Inuyasha 

let's just see how your bother's party is going 


they went to Godzilla, Jr's party 

holy shit dad must had a heart attack said Godzilla, JR 

I forgot you dad was invited to the party also I am so sorry normally Christmas parties are more fun then this sorry said Misato 


End of chapter 5
  

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Chapter 6 Kagome has a Sex with the Plant . . . AGAIN

Kagome was randy and sixteen and existed in this fanfic for stupid reasons. So she ventured off into the Ancient Forest of Perverts, somewhere Godzilla told her to never wander off to. He wanted to make sure she was a prisitine virgin at the wedding altar. So naturally, with the logic of these conundrums, Kagome was a huge slut.

Due to concerns of extreme lewdness and maybe, just maybe my having a slight sense of decorum, I will not go into great detail. I will mention that the events that transpired in the Forest involved the Whomping Willow and Kagome being very satisfied.

End of Chapter 6.

Edited by bnmjy
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5 hours ago, bnmjy said:

Chapter 6 Kagome has a Sex with the Plant . . . AGAIN

Kagome was randy and sixteen and existed in this fanfic for stupid reasons. So she ventured off into the Ancient Forest of Perverts, somewhere Godzilla told her to never wander off to. He wanted to make sure she was a prisitine virgin at the wedding altar. So naturally, with the logic of these conundrums, Kagome was a huge slut.

Due to concerns of extreme lewdness and maybe, just maybe my having a slight sense of decorum, I will not go into great detail. I will mention that the events that transpired in the Forest involved the Whomping Willow and Kagome being very satisfied.

End of Chapter 6.

what  the fuck dont do this

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Chapter 7 Kagome Meets Fugg's Hooha

Kagome heard rumors that there was a black woman staying at the local ryokan (Japanese inn). Somehow, in this shitty universe I've contrived, the owners of the ryokan managed to survive from the tsunami that killed most of their neighbors. I mean, it hadn't even been a month since the tragedy, and now it's back to business as usual.

Anyway, Kagome had never heard of a black woman before. She needed to see what one was for herself. She slid the wooden door entrance of the ryokan's first room open and it broke because it was made in China. It actually fell right on top of her. The black woman didn't seem to give one shit about Kagome's ordeal, not even turning her back around to see what the commotion was. Classic fuggs, making everything about her before anything could be about her. Oh right, you weren't supposed to know who the black woman was yet. Well fuck your exposition expectations.

"Are you a black woman?" inquired Kagome.

"No," said fuggs.

"lol," said Kagome.

fuggs decided to talk to Kagome like she was one of her insurance clients. She got all uppity and was ready to talk over Kagome when she felt like it. "Okay, now what the fuck you want bitch?"

"Um . . ." Kagome was at a loss for words. She wanted to meet a black woman, but the person in front of her told her she wasn't one.

"Bitch, do not waste my time. There are many other clients on the line."

"Line?"

"So it's gonna be like that. You gonna play dumb. Uh huh, it looks like you haven't even met your fucking deductible yet."

"What the fuck are you even talking about?" Kagome was started to get annoyed.

"No way bitch. We are on a recorded line, so I suggest you watch your fucking language."

"But you're . . "

"Silence, bitch. As I was saying, the deductible has not been met, and your vaginitis is not a diagnosis covered by your copay."

Kagome had had enough. "Vaginitis? What the honest fuck?"

fuggs pulled her pants down. "Now this is what a healthy vagina is supposed to look like." 

Kagome was mesmerized by fugg's hooha. She then got ripped off and had to pay her entire 200,000 yen deductible, even though she had already met it from her failed pregnancy earlier this year.

End of Chapter 7

Edited by bnmjy
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10 hours ago, bnmjy said:

Chapter 7 Kagome Meets Fugg's Hooha

Kagome heard rumors that there was a black woman staying at the local ryokan (Japanese inn). Somehow, in this shitty universe I've contrived, the owners of the ryokan managed to survive from the tsunami that killed most of their neighbors. I mean, it hadn't even been a month since the tragedy, and now it's back to business as usual.

Anyway, Kagome had never heard of a black woman before. She needed to see what one was for herself. She slid the wooden door entrance of the ryokan's first room open and it broke because it was made in China. It actually fell right on top of her. The black woman didn't seem to give one shit about Kagome's ordeal, not even turning her back around to see what the commotion was. Classic fuggs, making everything about her before anything could be about her. Oh right, you weren't supposed to know who the black woman was yet. Well fuck your exposition expectations.

"Are you a black woman?" inquired Kagome.

"No," said fuggs.

"lol," said Kagome.

fuggs decided to talk to Kagome like she was one of her insurance clients. She got all uppity and was ready to talk over Kagome when she felt like it. "Okay, now what the fuck you want bitch?"

"Um . . ." Kagome was at a loss for words. She wanted to meet a black woman, but the person in front of her told her she wasn't one.

"Bitch, do not waste my time. There are many other clients on the line."

"Line?"

"So it's gonna be like that. You gonna play dumb. Uh huh, it looks like you haven't even met your fucking deductible yet."

"What the fuck are you even talking about?" Kagome was started to get annoyed.

"No way bitch. We are on a recorded line, so I suggest you watch your fucking language."

"But you're . . "

"Silence, bitch. As I was saying, the deductible has not been met, and your vaginitis is not a diagnosis covered by your copay."

Kagome had had enough. "Vaginitis? What the honest fuck?"

fuggs pulled her pants down. "Now this is what a healthy vagina is supposed to look like." 

Kagome was mesmerized by fugg's hooha. She then got ripped off and had to pay her entire 200,000 yen deductible, even though she had already met it from her failed pregnancy earlier this year.

End of Chapter 7

stop adding chapters

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Chapter 8: Godzilla isn't real

 

Kagome: Dad, what's wrong?

Godzilla: I have this pain in my stomach!

Inuyasha: You ate too many J-pop stars again, didn't you?

*Godzilla's stomach tears open; gnomes crawl out of newly-formed orifice*

Inuyasha: What the hell is that?

Kagome: Are those gnomes? INUYASHA!

Inuyasha: What?! I'm right here, you know!

Head gnome: We are your father, Kagome!

Kagome: Uh, okay. Sure. I guess.

Inuyasha: I mean it's a little strange, but then again, I always thought the idea of Godzilla being your dad was weird, too.

Kagome: SIT, BOY!

*Inuyasha's body hits the floor head first*

Inuyasha: What the hell was that for?

Kagome: Maybe I wanted to be part radioactive sea lizard! Ever think of that?

*in walks ghostrek*

ghostrek: (stuttering) I-I-I never thought...this was possible. Why are there gnomes crawling out of Godzilla's tummy?

Inuyasha: Maybe Godzilla was never real.

*ghostrek runs off, never to be seen again*

Kagome: Who was that?

Inuyasha: I don't know, and I don't care.

Gnomes: (In unison) We love you, L. Ron Hubbard!

 

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Oh my, if Godzilla isn't real, then what was the source of the earhtquake?!

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people stop adding chapters mods locked post until next Christmas time

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6 hours ago, ghostrek said:

people stop adding chapters mods locked post until next Christmas time

what the fuck dont do this

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17 hours ago, PokeNirvash said:

His story, his rules.

Sorry, but this is a public forum. This thread belongs to the people, so it's actually our story, and our rules. *steps to you*

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  ch. 9

Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime
Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out crime
And then Shaq came back covered in a tire track
But Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back
And Batman was injured and trying to get steady
When Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete
But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped
Indiana Jones took him out with his whip

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