Bouvre Posted May 9, 2018 Share Posted May 9, 2018 (edited) Got to the shop and bought mine. Then a stranger offered to pay me five dollars to bring a donut to a construction worker named Hootie across the street, and to not disclose who purchased it for her. She attached a packaged pen and a folded note to the inside of the paper bag and handed it to me. She demanded I try not to let it fall in the hands of his boss, as though I'd be able to figure who was who. She also instructed me to leave a few minutes after her. I did it, but only because I was sure it would either become a strange but exciting mystery with danger and intrigue in which I'd find myself helplessly tangled, or one task in a series of ongoing donut side quests. It was neither, but I still got five bucks. Edited May 9, 2018 by Bouvre 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted May 10, 2018 Share Posted May 10, 2018 what did the note say?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAC Posted May 10, 2018 Share Posted May 10, 2018 well that was a lil exciting. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 10, 2018 Author Share Posted May 10, 2018 8 minutes ago, Vamped said: what did the note say?! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 10, 2018 Author Share Posted May 10, 2018 3 minutes ago, CAC said: well that was a lil exciting. It was! I even got to walk through a construction site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted May 10, 2018 Share Posted May 10, 2018 Sounds like you were a drug mule. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 10, 2018 Author Share Posted May 10, 2018 3 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said: Sounds like you were a drug mule. Those donuts are so fucking bomb they replaced my four addictions. Not necessary to tape drugs to the bag (the pen? The piece of paper?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 10, 2018 Author Share Posted May 10, 2018 (edited) 23 minutes ago, Vamped said: what did the note say?! Real answer I ain't going to snoop. That would require untaping the pen from the paper. My bet is she's a secret admirer? Or a mistress? Maybe his boss is her husband and would recognize her handwriting Edited May 10, 2018 by Bouvre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Me Posted May 10, 2018 Share Posted May 10, 2018 1 hour ago, Bouvre said: Oh man fuck your mcguffin 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 10, 2018 Author Share Posted May 10, 2018 12 minutes ago, Still Me said: Oh man fuck your mcguffin I provided a real answer tho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAC Posted May 10, 2018 Share Posted May 10, 2018 3 hours ago, Bouvre said: It was! I even got to walk through a construction site. Don't trip and have into any holes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juice McKenzie Posted May 10, 2018 Share Posted May 10, 2018 I was hoping this was going to have a sexy ending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaBarney Posted May 10, 2018 Share Posted May 10, 2018 How do you not read the note? I can't believe you would just not read the note like that 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasty Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 you got trashed with that $5, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 11, 2018 Author Share Posted May 11, 2018 8 hours ago, Nabloom said: How do you not read the note? I can't believe you would just not read the note like that 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 11, 2018 Author Share Posted May 11, 2018 2 hours ago, Lasty said: you got trashed with that $5, right? I got caffeinated as fuck 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 11, 2018 Author Share Posted May 11, 2018 9 hours ago, Saiyanman said: I was hoping this was going to have a sexy ending. Maybe the story isn't over yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 On 5/9/2018 at 7:54 PM, Bouvre said: Got to the shop and bought mine. Then a stranger offered to pay me five dollars to bring a donut to a construction worker named Hootie across the street, and to not disclose who purchased it for her. She attached a packaged pen and a folded note to the inside of the paper bag and handed it to me. She demanded I try not to let it fall in the hands of his boss, as though I'd be able to figure who was who. She also instructed me to leave a few minutes after her. I did it, but only because I was sure it would either become a strange but exciting mystery with danger and intrigue in which I'd find myself helplessly tangled, or one task in a series of ongoing donut side quests. It was neither, but I still got five bucks. i feel like this should be some sort of 1940's style gangster thing. 'runnin' donuts' 'runnin' numbers (?) *i'll show myself out, but not without first saying how intriguing. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonSinger Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 On 5/9/2018 at 8:31 PM, Bouvre said: Real answer I ain't going to snoop. That would require untaping the pen from the paper. My bet is she's a secret admirer? Or a mistress? Maybe his boss is her husband and would recognize her handwriting I've seen how this plays out, Bouvre. That letter probably said, "We do it tonight." You totally delivered the secret murder signal to that woman's lover, and the boss/husband is dead now. *Shakes head in disgust* That delicious caffeine was bought with blood money. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juice McKenzie Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 8 hours ago, Bouvre said: Maybe the story isn't over yet. i'd eat your ass like a glazed donut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 2 minutes ago, Saiyanman said: i'd eat your ass like a glazed donut I'd eat his ass like a chocolate frosted donut. Wait... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lasty Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 9 hours ago, Bouvre said: I got caffeinated as fuck Honestly I would have gotten a mocha, myself. Alcohol makes for better punchlines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 11, 2018 Author Share Posted May 11, 2018 3 hours ago, SorceressPol said: I've seen how this plays out, Bouvre. That letter probably said, "We do it tonight." You totally delivered the secret murder signal to that woman's lover, and the boss/husband is dead now. *Shakes head in disgust* That delicious caffeine was bought with blood money. It was a Monster, which is way more fitting for this story involving a woman way more eager to kill her husband than the hapless milquetoast Hootie, who believes she'll share the fortune with him. Unfortunately he botched the job. And as he feverishly hurries to clean his trail, he has no idea the woman is setting up his demise. It's Body Heat meets Double Indemnity 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 11, 2018 Author Share Posted May 11, 2018 2 hours ago, Saiyanman said: i'd eat your ass like a glazed donut I dare you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 11, 2018 Author Share Posted May 11, 2018 2 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said: I'd eat his ass like a chocolate frosted donut. Wait... I double dare you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death_by_motorboat Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 do you know what this reminds me of? people that expect everyone to be fucking nice... like some asshole trying to save 35 cents on his Tide pods that cant find his coupon and has been driving into your ear with corny cashier-small talk for ten minutes, and screams, "HEY FUCK YOU BUDDY!" when you finally tell him to get out of the way hes tying up the line. these asshats just expect everyone to be nice and not notice theyre as human as everyone else. i think it would have been funny if you told him to go to hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death_by_motorboat Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 oh it was a woman dunno how i missed that- same principle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juice McKenzie Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 2 hours ago, Bouvre said: I dare you present it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 11, 2018 Author Share Posted May 11, 2018 2 hours ago, mumbo13 said: do you know what this reminds me of? people that expect everyone to be fucking nice... like some asshole trying to save 35 cents on his Tide pods that cant find his coupon and has been driving into your ear with corny cashier-small talk for ten minutes, and screams, "HEY FUCK YOU BUDDY!" when you finally tell him to get out of the way hes tying up the line. these asshats just expect everyone to be nice and not notice theyre as human as everyone else. i think it would have been funny if you told him to go to hell. Man, if they're paying 5 dollars for a 1 minute walking delivery job that isnt out of the way, I feel somebody would have to be a moron to turn it down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted May 12, 2018 Share Posted May 12, 2018 6 hours ago, Bouvre said: I double dare you Do I look like Mark Summers to you? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 12, 2018 Author Share Posted May 12, 2018 23 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said: Do I look like Mark Summers to you? Is this a trick question? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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