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UnevenEdge

Severe driving anxiety


Chapinator_X

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Wasn't sure where to post this, but figured I'd get more feedback from here. Only recently have I been so comfortable to open up around folks from here, but I need some more input than what I'm getting now. 

Around 2014, I developed severe driving anxiety. Panic attacks, being afraid of driving and of being a passenger inside of a car. I haven't been able to drive on highways since then. I also develop irrational fears for parts of the road like a curb that goes on for too long, the left lane/left turns, overpasses, hills, large roads that are too empty, and such. It's gotten better over the years, but I just got accepted for a lucrative full time job; the only catch is that it's an hour commute with roads I'm not comfortable driving on. I should be happy, but I'm terrified, horrified, stressed, and feel like the people I'm opening up to are fed up with me being pessimistic and scared all the time about driving.  I was actually doing better last year when I stopped worrying about seeing a therapist a year ago, but now I'm thinking I might have to go back because of my driving anxiety and possibly seek out medication.

Anyone know someone who's gone through this? Is there a cure or coping mechanism I'm missing? I hate the feeling that this wouldn't have been a problem if I wasn't so fucked in the head. It wasn't always like this. I was driving normally on highways to and from everywhere at ease for 4 years before everything scared me. It kills me to my core that my gut reaction to getting a wonderful job is looking like I saw a ghost over the distance I have to drive until I move out. Is there even a healthy way to seek treatment for anxiety that involves being in a car?

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55 minutes ago, imchapp.in said:

Wasn't sure where to post this, but figured I'd get more feedback from here. Only recently have I been so comfortable to open up around folks from here, but I need some more input than what I'm getting now. 

Around 2014, I developed severe driving anxiety. Panic attacks, being afraid of driving and of being a passenger inside of a car. I haven't been able to drive on highways since then. I also develop irrational fears for parts of the road like a curb that goes on for too long, the left lane/left turns, overpasses, hills, large roads that are too empty, and such. It's gotten better over the years, but I just got accepted for a lucrative full time job; the only catch is that it's an hour commute with roads I'm not comfortable driving on. I should be happy, but I'm terrified, horrified, stressed, and feel like the people I'm opening up to are fed up with me being pessimistic and scared all the time about driving.  I was actually doing better last year when I stopped worrying about seeing a therapist a year ago, but now I'm thinking I might have to go back because of my driving anxiety and possibly seek out medication.

Anyone know someone who's gone through this? Is there a cure or coping mechanism I'm missing? I hate the feeling that this wouldn't have been a problem if I wasn't so fucked in the head. It wasn't always like this. I was driving normally on highways to and from everywhere at ease for 4 years before everything scared me. It kills me to my core that my gut reaction to getting a wonderful job is looking like I saw a ghost over the distance I have to drive until I move out. Is there even a healthy way to seek treatment for anxiety that involves being in a car?

My late brother-in-law was like that for years because he was in a bad car accident when he was in middle school... so finally when he was 22 he got his license and a beater car, and I think the beater car was his therapy, because when you have a beater car you just don't give a fuck, which in turn made him more comfortable about driving. That said, beater car became a Mustang V6, then Mustang GT, then Mustang Mach 1.... as well as a CBR 600RR.

 

Maybe you need a $700 Chrysler LHS.

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45 minutes ago, Nabloom said:

Immersion therapy - Become an uber driver for a month or two, drive a couple hours every day, follow the GPS, take the highways, put on a brave face for your fare. Drive when it's busy, during when your commute would be.

Immersion therapy was my therapist's main solution, but I feel like it was hard to completely get used to the roads. It did have me more comfortable riding on the main roads I had a tail spin going on, and do credit it for the fact that I'm much better driving now than I was in 2014-2015 when almost every road made my head spin. It is something I need to keep in mind though and push myself into doing more as I get comfortable riding on different streets I'm not used to.

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I'm pretty sure you can have a therapist with you in a car to get over your driving phobia. This might be the best option, as you say you already know how to drive. My case was that I was anxious about learning to drive. After actually doing things like merging into a highway and changing lanes, my anxiety slowly went away.

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7 minutes ago, Rogue_Alphonse said:

My late brother-in-law was like that for years because he was in a bad car accident when he was in middle school... so finally when he was 22 he got his license and a beater car, and I think the beater car was his therapy, because when you have a beater car you just don't give a fuck, which in turn made him more comfortable about driving. That said, beater car became a Mustang V6, then Mustang GT, then Mustang Mach 1.... as well as a CBR 600RR.

 

Maybe you need a $700 Chrysler LHS.

That is a good way of going about it. I feel like I have a better time on the road when I say "fuck it" and focus on something else. I've actually been relatively chill since I started streaming music playlists in my car, so there's definitely credence to the idea that the more worry-free I am about my ride itself, the more worry-free my commute will be.

Mine came about at random, possibly from the strain of college and my personal life, so its not even tied to road-related trauma, which makes it a weird case. Still, I think that would be a good mentality of having on the road.

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3 minutes ago, bnmjy said:

I'm pretty sure you can have a therapist with you in a car to get over your driving phobia. This might be the best option, as you say you already know how to drive. My case was that I was anxious about learning to drive. After actually doing things like merging into a highway and changing lanes, my anxiety slowly went away.

I'll have to look into options about therapists that you can take on drives. Or driving school instructors that do that kind of therapy. Maybe the problem this whole time was me needing to re-learn how to handle the road and not just handle it on my own.

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A certain degree of fear is logical when you think of the physics involved. I don’t do needless driving anymore bc I figure it improves my chances of not dying. Like boyfriend likes to drive and listen to music just for fun and I’ve convinced him to just listen music w/me here in the apartment. 

But crippling fear is no good. There’s all kinds of therapy. Ppl have suggested some good options already.

I’d say, buy a car from like the late 70s that weighs a ton. You’ll feel like you’re in a tank.

But the best thing I think really. Just get comfortable w/possibly dying at any second bc you don’t have to be in a car for that to happen.

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11 minutes ago, imchapp.in said:

That is a good way of going about it. I feel like I have a better time on the road when I say "fuck it" and focus on something else. I've actually been relatively chill since I started streaming music playlists in my car, so there's definitely credence to the idea that the more worry-free I am about my ride itself, the more worry-free my commute will be.

Mine came about at random, possibly from the strain of college and my personal life, so its not even tied to road-related trauma, which makes it a weird case. Still, I think that would be a good mentality of having on the road.

Yeah, I mean always have that sense of "As long as my car is okay, I'll be okay" but at the same time "Oh if a fucking deer jumps out and I blast it into next week, oh well... at least this car will keep me relatively unharmed!"

 

That analogy might have sucked but you get it.

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My mother goes through this because of a massive car accident that she was in. The physical damage still effects her today, and has made her petrified of driving further than a couple miles. 

Unfortunately she refuses to seek help for it so I have no idea about how to fix it. I know she can drive fine as long as someone is in the car, but that isn't a real fix, its just a bandage. 

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18 minutes ago, Rogue_Alphonse said:

Dream. Car. (Yes, it's a '73 Sedan DeVille. But your post reminded me of it.)

3f94d7411842d00915e428fc86013577--sedans

My first car was an Oldsmobile delta 88 from the 70s but I don’t remember what year. I miss it actually.

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I've never had it that bad. I rear ended somebody a few years ago and I had really bad anxiety about driving and it was really bad about driving in the rain or on wet roads. I still had to get places though so I would just drive like 5 miles under the speed limit and be super careful. I still clutch the steering wheel waay to tight though. When I'm driving on road trips I have to pry my fingers off the steering wheel and stretch them. 

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