Skiles

Shit, you want controversial? I think peanut butter is disgusting.

I laughed a lot. It goes on so long that it's ridiculous, but not quite long enough that the joke is overplayed.

But if it is, it succeeded, because this is legit funny.

One big ol' swingin' dick. Made fresh to order.

Don't spend all that reputation in one place.

I guess she was just like, "A NEW THING!! FUCK YEAH!!"

My dog adores me, you scoundrel.

Actually, I only eat cereal without milk. Primarily Cheerios and Corn Flakes. I can't eat cereal with milk. Makes me want to vomit just thinking about it.

Until today. We mixed some wet food in with the dry, and I've never fucking seen that dog eat anything faster. That dog went fucking ham on that food.

Well, call in sick. This is important.

We should invade France to celebrate.

I've heard comparisons to Butterbean, but that's not fair. Ruiz is a skilled fighter and the farthest thing from a sideshow guy. Joshua has the proverbial glass chin. We've seen him in plenty of fights, even recent ones, where he went down. Ruiz is a big fat badass, and he hit Joshua in the mouth. I'm happy for him.

See, I don't get embarrassed by stuff like that. If it's around people I know, it doesn't matter because we know each other. And if it's around people I don't know, then it matters even less because I probably won't ever see those people again anyway. So snart to your heart's content, I say.

I dunno. Mostly it just really makes you feel like have no control of your bodily functions. But it's cool because I love to fart.

It happens more than I care to admit.

Sneezing so hard that you fart.

But the question is, are you even supposed to be here today?

FUCK I hope you enjoyed my short essay.

That would be funny if Pat ended up helping you there.

You jest, but I think he was fully naked.

I can't do jack shit with my right hand or arm, but I'm also, for all intents and purposes, missing a finger there.

My dog hates it when I do that.

I had sex once while wearing nothing but socks. It was quite comfotable. Kept my tootsies warm. I've heard that some folks jerk off into/onto socks. They even have a dedicated sock for that purpose. That's pretty odd to me, but hey, if that's how they wanna live, that's cool.

I want that song played at my funeral.