What @Vampedis saying is right, but you can't get to that next step until you do something about that anger you're harboring. I, for one, don't think you're making excuses to be lazy, i think you're making excuses to fuel the anger that gets you through the day, and some of that anger is justified at least initially. If you feel you're being ostracized, you naturally learn how to cope with abuse by relying on your own devices, and that's leading you down a path of attempting to destroy as much as you can rather than build something for yourself.
You mention that there is an Oregonian law that disqualifies violent offenders. What crime were you convicted of that would disqualify you in that way?