molarbear

I'm down for this

The only thing you're missing is a medium to large size dog sleeping at your feet

I love Animals. I filled out the paperwork to volunteer at the local Animal Shelter, they won't give me the time of day. The kill shelter has openings but I honestly can't fathom working there, I'd end up with 100 dogs and like 4 cats.

life career endeavors

I went to Turkey when I was 19, we rented bikes and road 80 miles to the Beach and it was no big deal 12 years later I'm pretty sure I'd make it halfway and literally start throwing dirt on myself to assist with my burial charges

My Mom gets upset that I won't add her on FB I love her to death but the last thing I want is her calling me asking me if I was drunk in a picture at a wedding where my tie is wrapped around my head and my friend is tilting my head back and pouring jim beam into my mouth No Ma, that was apple juice.........

he was arrested because his cereal cut the roof of everyone's mouth

Imma go watch Dunkirk

I believe he's the one on the left playing guitar

that always sucks man, I'm sorry. That beautiful creature you see in my profile pic is no longer with us I had to put her down last year I've lost Family members, and I've lost friends, putting my Dog down was by far one of the hardest things I've ever gone through in life. She lived 16 years as a Retriever/Border Collie mix, She was fucking beautiful, and she just loved people. I'll never forget when Moparman came to hangout and he was all "I don't let dogs lick me" I told him that was going to change soon he tried that half pet thing people do where they kind of pat a dog's head in affection, she jumped on the couch and licked his face within 2 seconds. ;D

I wake up with boners that could destroy the Golden Gate Bridge if rammed into it hard enough I don't think it's sleep that causes it, I think it's just the male brain if I haven't fapped or had sex in like 3 days a slight draft can cause a boner

I believe it was a smartass comment implying his dick was so large it caused him to walk with a limp

I'd pitch it as "GOD DAMN DAPPER AS FUCK!" https://www.quiktrip.com/

It's a QT man, they're fucking classy as fuck instead of a gloryhole they probably have some vibrating sex hole you jab your dick in

I agree

I mean super old and limping I asked if his knee was bothering him and he said "Nope Viagra kicked in earlier then I thought it would" Que me looking like a crazy person in front of a gas station because I'm laughing so hard

I don't know what it was about mine but I had no problems I had no pain and was eating solid food that night My Brother on the other hand looked like a fucking chipmunk after he got his removed

I'm seriously have some PTSD like symptoms reading this and thinking of two a days in football drinking warm water out of a piece of PVC with a bunch of holes punched into it in 100+ degree heat

I have cologne but I always forget to put it on I don't know the name of what I use but I got it like 10 years ago and it's not even half empty

Sir, you have a defunct chicken thing

I also went to church with the kid that played Porky

I think you're Dog is going to be ok, anyone with gray matter between their ears will know a violent Pupper from an excited one

Are you sure it's not a male?

I had 4 chickens for a month I thought it would be fun to pretend to be a farmer but then a fucking Hawk murdilated the shit out of them seriously, I woke up and it looked a person had hate fucked my chickens with a knife