tsar4

Our Black Lab was hilarious. Monster of a dog, 157 lbs of big & scary (sitting on the floor, he could set his head on the dining room table). But give him a squeek toy & he turned into a whining little puppy.

"I Was A Teenaged Alex P. Keaton"?

If he's anything like ours was, he brought it to you with a "fix it" look on his face.

I'm guessing the first one not to die, considering how this year has gone.

I mean this version of today...unless you're the living, breathing embodiment of Phil.

Maternally Incestuous Person

These. You can roll around in them, but I fail to see how they'll keep you warm.

It's the last time you'll have to go through today, ever.

Ok...

If I were much younger, I would have suggested Ginger Snaps.

World Peace, an end to Hunger, an end to Cancer & Alzheimer's, everyone to be happy...the usual, greedy stuff.

Is this an "earworm" thing? Right now, mine's Elvis doing "Love Me Tender". Not really an Elvis fan, but at least it's not elevator-type Christmas music.

Islam? Or "The Nation of Islam"? Wasn't X gunned down on the orders of Elijah Muhammad?

Unless you have a hand written statement from the party in question, that has been noterized and witnessed by at least 3 people unrelated to either individual, it's rape if she says it was. Even if she was stone cold sober.

"My Name Is Larry"?

I would not joke about "Jake Blues's" ex.

Heart Attack http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-38423963 Can 2016 be over yet?

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2016/aug/12/hillary-clinton/has-donald-trump-talked-about-using-nukes-against-/

Nah, "twas Beauty that killed the Boards".

He knows nothing.

Dobshe

Stoli & nesting dolls.

Well, that was bizarre - I had the address with the "can't find website" still in one of my browser tabs & thought, "what the heck" and hit refresh. I was taken to a French video site - the staging address was still in the window. Hacked already?

I take it you've never partaken of the pride of Chicago Liquors? (props for 2 bottles of Bailey's) The video is hilarious https://www.thrillist.com/drink/chicago/14-things-you-didn-t-know-about-malort-thrillist-chicago