tsar4

I was. They didn't do it at any of the schools I attended until we moved to a farming community. I was stunned, especially when I saw the paddles used, but those farm boys were used to it. I was never punished that way, but in 7th grade, one kid who was constantly being punished was taken into the hall by a female math teacher for "whacks". When they came back in, she was apologizing profusely. The story I got was that either she or he lost count, he straightened up and she caught him in the small of the back. I think they stopped the practice shortly after that. There might have been a lawsuit involved.

I was expecting, "Is this your card?" Although, "You've got a pretty big 'Adam's Apple" would work too.

Those fumes are probably counterindicated to solving the issue.

Did she buy you just one MAD magazine or the whole subscription?

How could you not like Ralph?

Currently, one of the standard ones. Eventually I'll switch it to

First, nobody is "too good" for anyone. They may want other things in their life that are different than you may want, say like they're really into socializing and you aren't, but nobody is "too good". There are plenty of "opposites attract" stories out there. I remember reading about a woman, a member of Mensa with PhD who had been married to a garage mechanic for 20 years (at that time). Second, though not mentioned in the OP, is the concept of a "soulmate" - utter garbage. The idea that there is one perfect person in the world for you is insane. Ask most people to describe their "soulmate" and they'll immediately go into physical characteristics, which have nothing to do with one's soul. What if it turned out that, no matter your sexual orientation, your absolute "soulmate" was some 70 yr old man in Mongolia who you are never destined meet?

It'll be ok. I know lots of people who are in a dense fog until about that time, usually goes away after their 3rd coffee. Seriously though, not too many things as scary as being on a highway and losing sight of both the tail lights of the car ahead and the headlights of the semi behind. About 20 ft visibility that night for a couple miles...then all the sudden, it was clear again.

No, they're not. But you're pretty sorry.

Actually, I was thinking we're talking a step-parent here.

But he's got talent and skill, while you have...ummmm...what exactly do you have?

Not just fried shrimp. It's like trying to chew a tire after an hour or two, no matter how it was prepared.

He's hangin' with Rick Moranis.

You should be thinking this...

Or "Night Court".

Used to be a place near where I went to college, Burritoville - "Burritos as big as your head". If I couldn't finish it, I'd wrap it in foil, toss it in the fridge and it would keep. Same for a gyro, I'd buy a couple from a place that had a deal on 2. Toss one in the fridge, eat the other.

Exploding E cig takes out 7 teeth of some poor guy. https://consumerist.com/2017/01/18/man-says-e-cigarette-explosion-destroyed-7-of-his-teeth/

Well...that explains that. I thought some things went missing.

What about "Breakfast at Tiffany's"?

Turned it off early. The officiating was awful in both directions. (Lots of uncalled GB holding in the offensive line, uncalled defensive holding by the Dallas secondary) Became too frustrating to watch.

"SANCTUARY!" Oops, wrong "Beast".

Like Congress isn't already insulting.