mthor

Neither do I.

See, this is what happens when you buy a Ouija board. If you use it, he materializes in your kitchen, drinks all your beer, eats all your food, watches Lifetime movies on your TV, complains about your gaming system, and makes a pass at every underage female within ogling distance. And that's just the first day.

It's not against the law to get them wet.

He doesn't come up in mine, and I watch a lot of serial killer videos. Is that a good thing, or is it just because nobody's looked in the cellar?

*hits you, owl, and shit with high-pressure attachment to hose* My cognitive function may be going, but my aim is still pretty good.

Yes, children. I know. Now get off the goddamn lawn.

Dammit, sponges, you've blown her cover.

Back when 50 Shades of Grey was a thing, I used to love the look on the face of little old ladies when they checked it out of the library. It was this wonderful furtive combination of "what if somebody sees me" and "say word one, bitch."

Now get rid of it. You don't invite random strangers into your house from the physical realm. Why would you invite them from any other plane?

You're cute, but you're not my type.

Jerry Springer

They're on sale, and if you have a sportsman's guide membership, they're an additional 10% off.

It may have something to do with supply and demand...thigh highs are not necessarily a high priority for most plus size women. In fact, this is the first time I've ever heard the dearth of them lamented, and I and many of my friends are varying degrees of excessive

Well, they say it takes money to make money. What are you waiting for? 😄

copypasta

@🍬Candy🍬 I meant the blue. In your hair. That you were less than pleased with.

DO IT! Draw a picture, or crochet a model of her.

Seriously, I can't see anything besides your eyes and the trees on your shirt. Did you get rid of the color?

I was talking about my mental illness - I'm bipolar I. As to yours, diagnosis isn't within my scope of practice, but most of the possibilities that spring to mind lack ICD codes or listings in the DSM.

Bite me. It's a lot more fun being one of the 8% of Northern Asians and Eastern Europeans descended from Genghis Khan than being one of the 10% of Americans who have a mental illness, especially at the moment.

Happy Birthday! I have socks older than you.

What's in that beverage? It looks good. (Granted, any beverage that involves pineapple looks good to me)

But I'm part Mongolian. (In much the same way that Elizabeth Warren is part Native American, and I mean, hey, it's working so well for her...)

And we shall make unto the Holy Land (aka Highmarket) a pilgrimage to obtain the most holy Wild Blueberries with which to make the muffins and pies.