mthor

Heartache Tonight?

What? No "Hotel California"?

Oh. You mean she prefers guys who have career plans and/or are physically fit to guys who are cultivating cirrhosis as a lifestyle?

Your friend has no friends. He does, however, have Rebecca.

That awful thing made with cottage cheese, jello, and canned fruit.

I always feel badly for her, because he only visits us, but he lives with her. We should start a GoFundMe for Zeni's mom to start eviction proceedings.

"May I please speak to your manager?"

Hasn't his mother suffered enough?

No. As long as there are sandwiches, there will be mayo.

Etiquette.

Years of therapy and heavy doses of psychotropics might help, but I rather doubt it. Cryogenics might be the way to go; if your friend is frozen for a few hundred years, they may be able to help him when he's thawed. Or not, but at least then he wouldn't be wasting valuable oxygen in the mean time.

I'm pretty sure it's not mine.

If your boogers look like Nerds or Fruity Pebbles, you've got a problem.

Can't be that hard, and if it is, he can always go back to his old account.

Don't tell him that. Now he's going to beg for admin status.

NO!

I'm not sure, but I think it may be post-related. 500 earns you the key to the dumpster; maybe you get permission to change your rank then, too.

You need a therapist, not a message board.

Your friend is a real beta pussy.

Your friend is wanted by absolutely no one, and the only April fool around here is your friend

As long as it's his living room and not his mother's, that's his issue. Here's hoping he breaks something he's really fond of. And if it's his mother's, I hope she finally boots his sorry ass out.

I'll throw you the cookie. I hate those, too. I can never get them in a position where my glasses aren't getting fogged up.

What kind are they giving you? (Also, you have a cute and friendly face. Now come here so I can pinch your cheek and give you a cookie.)

Also, 27. The Sixth Sense

60. Life of Pi 36. The Devil Wears Prada (?)