mthor

🤣I did work that was literally shitty for about 40 years. And were I able, I'd still be doing it.

🍻🎂🍻

Wound up going to sleep with The Creeping Terror.

Good luck and Godspeed. ( At least you're not watching Manos: The Hands of Fate)

Well, it's probably easier to store it there than in one's butt.

Actually, watching the unriffed ones takes me back to my childhood, when we'd watch Monster Movie Matinee and Chiller Theater, and try to figure out the special effects. Plus, my mother loved giant bug and/or lizard movies, and she'd always watch with us. So it's not as awful as it may seem.

Oh, dear. This is another one of those movies that I own an unriffed version of...

No, I'm old people, and I don't eat that shit. Edit: sometimes I eat wintergreen life savers, but that's more so that I can bite them to see if they make sparks as opposed to actually liking them.

Be careful of that - allergies can worsen with repeated exposure.

Arby's horsey sauce. 💕

There are three things that one should not do in a language in which one does not have native fluency: cast a spell, tell a joke, or get a tattoo.

2 days after my birthday, and I had to pull the cane out. Now I really feel old.

Thanks! This has bothered me all morning, and now I can stop thinking about it.

The little plastic box is for either a ring or a pair of earrings - it's missing the fuzzy cardboard part that the jewelry would stick in.

That's only if you eat it backwards.

If Willy Wonka's gum turned Violet Beauregard into a blueberry, is this going to turn us into an apple? Or a cup of coffee?

It's too late for kegels.

Too late. Not only have I reproduced, my reproductions have reproduced. You really have to be quicker with this kind of imperative.

It's possible to fracture a rib while coughing, so why not?

🍻🎂🥂🥂🍻🎂🧁🎂🍻🥂🥂🍻🎂🍻 Y'all can fight about who gets the cupcake.

This prompts a question which there is no delicate way to ask, but please don't be insulted; it's out of genuine curiosity. Do transwomen do menopause? That is, assuming that one has completely transitioned, do they start tapering the hormones around the age when a normal physiological menopause would occur?

Maybe you need more fiber.

Nope. Look it up. If I just tell you, you'll never learn anything.

I thought Blue Buffalo was dog food?

Dear AARP, I know how old I am. Could you please stop killing trees in order to remind me? Thanks.