crackymckrackin

You should always make eye contact with the person preparing your meal. Not like a glance but like psychotic eye contact. This way they know....they know not to do anything crazy to your food. I would say give them the stink eye, but that's not a strong enough message.

Cleveland is for suckers.

Fg_anus

Get some bedazzled glasses. Maybe some giant Elton John glasses.

My dad has to be restrained after any kind of anesthesia. He gets crazy violent and belligerent. It's more common than you think.

I also stepped on a Lego while barefoot.

I passed one and had to have another removed. Got 4 more hanging out in my right kidney right now just waiting for an invite to the pain party.

Kidney stones.

Domestic girlfriend was worth a watch. It's not entirely non high school but it definitely deals with adult themes. I dubbed it with the alternative name of "A ridiculous series of horrible choices". Golden time was pretty good. I have a few others but I need to look up the names. I'm horrible at remembering names, Japanese or english.

Preferably, yes. I will make an exception for him.

I bet I could fix the toilet after he dumb all over it.

That's not a dig at your appearance. It's a personal preference. I don't want to work around naked people.

I'll pay you to stay dressed.

I wouldn't but as I've said before, this type of thing never happens unless there is a motive or agenda. Even if there isn't, I'm not the guy who's going to give anyone that kind of attention. I prefer the extremely hard to get ladies.

I didn't ask. Didn't really spend enough time there to get a life history or her opinion on sexuality.

You think lonely Island got the idea for dick in a box from that?

I would argue that I didn't fuck up. Stuff like this doesn't happen in real life without some hidden motive or agenda. I'm certainly not attractive enough to drop panties.

The only thing that existed in her house was faucets and her bull dog that growled at me the entire time.

She would never waste money on something like that. She has plenty of other reasons to beat me to death that don't cost anything.

It would start, Dear Penthouse forum, "And he was beaten to death by his wife that was waiting in the truck."

His younger much much smaller cousin maybe.

I assume she was cold, being naked and all. She was very attractive.

I never reacted just went about fixing stuff like everything was normal.

I got called out to adjust some faucets on a house. The lady answered the door naked. She gave no fucks at all. Just showed me to the bathroom, chatted the whole time....naked.

I would prefer they did sing it in Spanish.