Open question to anyone:
I tried to turn the volume on just now. Normally when you boot the game the volume buttons switch from controlling the ringer to controlling the program volume.
Except when I boot the game, the volume buttons still control the ringer. It's not the game settings, audio is turned on in the menu. If I switch to YouTube, I can mess with the program volume, but when I switch back to the game, the volume doesn't carry over. It's as if the program doesn't have an audio component to it for some reason.
I dunno what to do, but I'm really irritated that I can't figure it out.