What would you say if I followed all your instructions (or at least all but the Puri-Puri Prisoner one) for the first episode, but made the second actually good?
Like Gungrave, only more Tumblr-friendly.
Watching the Wednesday night replay right now. Apparently Jack's hallucinations treat time travel in a linear fashion a la Inuyasha. Considering all the time portals he came across in the first series, I wouldn't be surprised if they all did.
Also the mother of the daughters of Aku gives Ragyo Kiryuuin a run for her money in the "worst mother" department.