SlappyKincaid

An African tribe recently had a new king take over the reign, and he wanted to make his people known throughout the continent. They specialized in building large elaborate houses out of woven grass, and the king decided that they should spread their knowledge and artistry by any means necessary. Several contacts were peaceful, and knowledge was shared, but there were a few that ended in violence, with the king and his army overthrowing the ruler and taking their royal thrones and bringing them back to the main village, where they were placed in the upper part of the king's home, as trophies. However, the king overestimated his construction knowledge, and as his men were loading yet another trophy throne into his attic, the weight from all the conquests proved to be too much for the thatch supports, and his entire house collapsed. The moral of the story? Those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

I have leftovers to nuke, but I'm not terribly hungry right now. I made beef stroganoff yesterday and it came out pretty good for using sketchy walmart meat.

You could just buy the ingredients yourself and follow recipes for less money, and potentially make better tasting meals on top of it. Teaching your kid how to cook is a good bonding experience, plus its giving them good life skills.

how rude.

I've only ever seen that clip, what is this even from and why is she so angry about it?

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, and it is destroying his family.

Ooh wah ah ah ah?

THERE WILL BE PEACE IN OUR TIME

BECKFEST

Mickey Mouse is in divorce court, and the judge asks him, "So let me get this straight, you want to divorce from your wife Minnie because she's too silly?" Mickey says, "No, your honor, haha, I said I want a divorce because she's fucking Goofy!"

What did the buffalo say to his child when he went off to college? "Bison"

A dwarf fortune-teller escaped from prison, hasn't been caught yet. There's a small medium at large.

The Pat cats. Much better than the bat, Pat

Little did she know, that her man was with a man. And not just any man, THE man. The entire united states government ran a train on her man, which is why he couldn't sit down for weeks.

Worth noting that the reason for this is usually due to habitat loss and reduction of natural predators like wolves and coyotes, because humans are dicks.

I have no words

...wh....what...? ...no really... what?

Scrapple is one of those things that shouldn't be good because of whats in it. And even knowing whats in it and how its made, somehow its still really good. And yet, I don't like hotdogs.

what about people with compromised immune systems? Should I tell my mom to encase my stepdad in a bubble-boy suit until flu season is over?

If heat helps it, those thermacare wrap things work pretty good, they aren't even that uncomfortable. I survived a really bad sciatica episode over the summer and was still able to work/walk/not wish for death except that one day when it was really really bad

why does he have a 3rd degree burn victim/michael jackson nose?

It just makes you want to put on a hockey mask and worship the decapitated head of your mother in your dirty shack in the woods, doesn't it?

.......anymore?

Just don't go full OJ and kill your ex-wife and her lover