Mix

It leaves DNA.

See this is why I can't get ahead in life....I didn't even think of all that I mean I was willing to leave my luggage behind

do you have to stick around like in a car crash or can you just go home? like did those people in miracle on the hudson stick around, or did they just hail a cab and go home

Happy birthday or whatever the equivalent celebration is for a demon summoning

Tell it to get a job

Hurt you? How? A boys medium is my actual shirt size. I don't wear it to show off my muscles, Mr. 600 pound deadlift

That's my secret

I can still see the horde cresting the hill. There were millions upon millions, charging for me. My last words before they swarmed me were, "...yew fookin beeech how cood yew doo dis to mehhhhh..."

almost exclusively

tolerable

You're right, Poof.

Those other sperm must of been some useless fucks

If I were to describe my family as a tv show it would be Dexter's laboratory except everyone but me is Dexter. They're all smart and have their own things going on that they don't share with the rest of the group. And I'm like the dad on Dexter's lab. I'm the character that's not too bright and is brought out as comic relief and my main nemesis is a squirrel.

That would be hilarious....but not likely....my family is nothing like me, my mom least of all....I know she'll politely accept it but she won't wear it

She's actually one of those super woke college kids who would take offense

This guy gets it.... It would just be mean to tease her like that....

Sitcoms raised me. Scrubs and Malcolm in the Middle are basically how I formed my personality.

I'm feeling a lot better now, but a couple hours ago this thread nearly drove me insane. There's a film I watched a long time ago that has the same vibe as this one and I couldn't remember the title and it felt like my mind was melting. There were also other circumstances, but this really pushed me over the edge. Anyway, everything's fine now and if anyone can recall an indie sci-fi movie with a title that starts with a Z or an X that has the same vibe as this boner pill movie, please let me know.....or don't, it doesn't matter....none of this matters

You think it's weird if I give my mom a leather jacket with the words 'Hot Bitch' across the back? I ordered it for my sister before I saw what was on the back and at this point it just seems easier to switch name tags on these gifts.

I saw that episode of black mirror and I counter with the episode of friends when Chandler and Joey accidentally messed with their cable and got free porn... That black mirror guy grew up with it so obviously he isn't going to appreciate it....

...and they replace these boring athletes and actors in ads with porn stars... Just imagine the new insurance ads....I mean that gecko is already naked and that deep chocolate voiced dude is doing a lot...in my mind I always add a "bebe" when he says "are you in good hands" "Gatorade, is it in you?" Come on, this is a lay up...

Happy four minutes left of your birthday it still counts >.>

My friend just had a kid too. He made me hold it, so I looked it in the eye and said, "it's all down hill from here." It threw up on me. Baby - 1, Mix - 0

You want to see it, don't you? I don't blame you....it's quite a sight Once in a life time Like seeing Bigfoot...........'s dick