Mix

Nooo, even for you.....that's nuts

That's my secret.....I'm never defenseless not farting

It was downstairs....besides, that's not how the witch said I would go out

Went down to the kitchen, GIANT FUCKING SPIDER RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR.....so I turned around and came right the fuck back to bed half asleep, half dressed and drunk is no time to fight for your life against a motherfucker with more eyes and legs than you.... he's advantaged, you're disadvantaged....it's not a good look come get your spider @renjifan

Happy day of birth. Let me tell you, as an immortal, the first thirty years is the hardest. The next few millennia spent preparing for the return of Lord Xenu should fly by

That's baller as fuck

Ponds don't usually accommodate river boats.....right, I mean, that's a swanky pond

lost the baby fat but you should of kept the blonde mohawk

yeah, girl, me too

Insist on getting your pets from the animal shelter Insist on getting your girlfriends from the women's shelter

I don't control the tip of it, just the base

wow, people actually do this huh....I owe my sister an apology....I straight laughed in her face when she told me she wrote a love letter to some girl at her school

this is a good thing....people have been addicted to food for years....everyone lets it slide because it's THE most socially acceptable drug in the world, but it doesn't have to be this way....you've somehow rid yourself of your appetite, now all that's left is the withdrawal pains of hunger, then you're out....you'll be rid of this crippling addiction once and for all....stay the course

I learned about this guy through comedians doing bits about him, then the whole incident with his church happened and I was like "oh shit it's that guy, waaaaat"

i hope someone's making money off these idiots

I keep coming back to this....I'm gonna save it....I legit cackled when I saw it....i've never done that before

oh no, I remember those I once humped a couch.......that couch and I had some good times

i hear ya

ok so it was someone else....I could have sworn it was someone on here who had a show.....maybe @That_One_Guy

I hear it's just a ruse to create a philosopher stone