little_girl_lost

"An historic" sounds very wrong

Day-lights as a bouncer at the local bar. Doesn't actually work there but no one seems to notice.

got out of bed in the middle of the night, stepped on a rubber shoe with her bare sweaty feet making a fart noise, startling her causing her to fart and queef at the same time.

Own two copies of Tough Guys Don't Dance on dvd, one for watching, the other one sits in a shadow box, displayed prominently in their home.

Microwaves salad

Yeah, probably. The story is that one of my grandfathers was playing with me when i was a baby and noticed a lazy eye, and its been glasses ever since. Well, there was the time in my first year of school when they made me wear glasses and an eye patch, rendering me socially doomed.

Nah, prescription glasses since i was two I fully expect to be as bad as this lady when i'm old