little_girl_lost

My xmas tree this year

I'm pretty sure the day camp mum sent us to was giving us frozen soy sauce and duck sauce packets and calling them popsicles.

For a song called "piano man" it sure as fuck got hijacked by the harmonica man.

uses 2 uncooked spaghetti noodles to knit cooked spaghetti

just spent the last 20 minutes trying to thread a pin

Is the reason Handi-snacks don't come with the red stick anymore.

Cold medicine does absolutely nothing

Remember that astronaut that drove across the country in a diaper to go stalk her ex? pretty much that

They should continue the Wicked franchise with Jeff Goldblum, and call the next installment "Oz Girls Are Easy"

Do you think Jerry O'Connell, Corey Feldman, and Wil Wheaton are ever hanging out, and Jerry says to the other guys "you wanna go see a dead body" and then they all go to River Phoenix's grave?

thought he was jacking it to Joyce Hyser- turned out to be Ralph Macchio

I thought kerrygold butter was supposed to be like top shelf butter. I got a small tub of kerrygold thinking it would be easy to spread, it's solid as a rock. I really wanted good quality bread and butter, instead i got bread with chunks of butter on it cuz the shit wouldnt spread to save its life. And the label says 'naturally softer', bullshit

I almost feel sorry for john travolta with his santa commercials he does for credit cards and then i remember he's a scientology nutter

thanksgiving dinner was a roast beef sandwich from a gas station

has a restraining order against this guy