Hornshire

Here's a small bird We killed. We're giving it to you because We find you nauseatingly incompetent.

"But you don't understand, I was young, I was in college, I didn't know any better! Besides, Hector's not evil, he's just, misunderstood."

A fusion of Spinelli and Gretchen of Recess notoriety. Or more concisely, Wednesday Addams. But We rarely think of her as the animated series version.

He's the set of bewbs on the right. Also referred to as "Mr Saxophone."

It's kinda like that line from Animal Farm. How did it go... "Two bewbs good. Four bewbs better."

People all too often limit their understanding of humanity to the familiar. It's a shallow, somewhat depressing, and also somewhat dangerous outlook. The depths of human potential know no bounds. Only actualization or lack thereof.

We used to struggle like that too. But We had to get rid of the sofa when last We moved, so now We just cry on the floor.

If We were to have a son, his name would be Norrin. We have entertained various names for a daughter over the years, but none have ever stuck. Our first would likely be derived from family anyways.

Last time We went was six or seven years ago. Our prescription hadn't changed, but We got another set of frames just cause. We never wear them except for the rare occasion where We drive to a city We've never been to before.

It has a very Xavier Renegade Angel aesthetic. No offense.

On the old boards, We would have, because We had Our default font set to something with serifs. Tahoma, maybe. (Also, just looked at the subject line in the post screen and totally did, because it looks like a backwards J.)

A shit ton of Cracked's videos are just adaptations of previously written articles. It's why a lot of them have titles like "7 things that blah blah blah" even though they talk about somewhere between four and nine things.

Tiny.

You know, We aren't entirely opposed to someone going out, rounding up the last few, and confining them to some reservation out in the middle of nowhere.

"For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. For me, it was Tuesday." We may or may not use the name Bison, and still find it acceptable.

Why bother with Pixie Stix if you're giving them cocaine?

Trou.

New people. Ha.

Slaughterhouse.

The larger ones did, it wasn't super discernible, but kind of milky. If you can imagine milk without the thickness. We generally mashed them against the roof of Our mouth with Our tongue, the way you would a raspberry. Regarding weirdness, it seemed appropriate to Us, but Our perspective has rarely been one reflected by the general populace.

We used to eat ants for money. Not really sure why people paid for it. Especially considering We'd do it for free.

Name: Undecided Age: Timeless Gender: Not specified Sexual preference: Dead whales Turn-ons: Rhetorical tenacity, subtlety, Deep Magic from the Dawn of Time, tongue dexterity, cuddling Turn-offs: False dichotomies, true dichotomies, "reply hazy try again later", mayonnaise, shallowness Perfect Partner: Remington RM5118R Rodeo Worst Partner: idle self-proclaimed alpha male

What.

1pooh4u[/member] This just happened to be in Our suggested list and We thought it uncannily relevant. Not great, but a decent starting point.

Our second inclination would be "No." Our first inclination was actually not to comment at all, but We're a sucker for contrarian responses to empty threats of intimate violence. Beyond that, We could be wooed. Inheritance details would go a long way in this regard. That aside, the only thing you've offered We find appealing is waifu. Which, full disclosure, We'd really rather just have, no strings attached. Package deals, especially inaptly named ones, are not a strong seller in Our book. But then again, neither is taking away the one and only thing a person has going for them. So basically, Our point is that one's first instinct is generally correct.