The_annoying_one

I’d be glad to sell you a bag of Cheetos….for just $37.50.

Why did I read this in Chester Cheetah’s voice?

If Arnold Schwarzenegger decides he’s completely done with the Terminator movies, would that make him The Exterminator?

“I could really use a hand, doc. Or two.”

Yep. Only thing missing is some dipping sauce.

That’s okay. Go ahead and twist my words. You actually had me second-guessing myself for a minute.

Microwaved a couple of frozen chicken pot pies.

Nah, fuck that! I don’t come at friends.

THIS IS MY THREAD NOW!!!!!

You’re both wrong. It’s a Bobbery.

No, don’t! I’m sorry! I’m the only fuck up here!

No. No, you are not.

Fruit flies are my new mortal enemy.

Am I the only one who always thought that dog was CGI? Hold on….*checks earpiece*…..Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it appears that I probably am the only one…..

I bought a ribeye yesterday that I was gonna do tonight. I threw it on the grill, then went back in to work on a couple sides. Went back out to check my steak and the fucker was pure charcoal. Grill somehow got set to 500°….. I threw it in the trash and ordered some kind of steak bowl from a local Mexican place that’ll be here in about an hour. I. Am. LIVID.

Just took my dog out. I probably wasn’t outside for more than 5 minutes and I got absolutely destroyed by mosquitoes. I hate summer…..even though it’s not actually summer yet….

Happy Day of Birth.

Same shit, different day.