myth busters: boar3d edition

[-Kudasai-]

Got arrested at Walmart on black Friday back in 1996 after getting into a fist fight with an old lady over a Tickle Me Elmo doll

Edited June 17, 2025 by Mode 7

[[classic swim]]

Is the Tickle Me Elmo doll that cusses.

[The_annoying_one]

Goes down the toy aisles at Walmart, pushes the buttons on the most annoying toys he can find, and runs away giggling.

[[classic swim]]

Was friends with the kid who sang “I Like Big Butts And I Cannot Lie” on the Walmart intercom.

[-Kudasai-]

His wrestling finishing move is called the flying butt pliers 

[The_annoying_one]

Wears a spandex wrestling singlet while out in public.

[discolé monade]

likes to go to the food court from time to time to announce that he took the biggest shit from eating at (he inserts a new place each time), that...well..

it was so big that when it dropped, his credit score actually dropped. 

[-Kudasai-]

Still has possession of the tickle me Elmo doll that she beat up sm old lady to get.

[The_annoying_one]

Has the dollar store version of Tickle Me Elmo, Poke Me Lemo.

[Seight]

Came up with the concept art for the Long Furby

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

Is The Wiz, and nobody beats him.

[The_annoying_one]

Buys toilet paper one single roll at a time.

[mthor]

Buy SPAM by the slice.

[-Kudasai-]

Brings an umbrella to the shower

Edited June 18, 2025 by Mode 7

[The_annoying_one]

Takes bubble baths with a little rubber ducky and the whole works.

[-Kudasai-]

takes baths with toy boats

Edited June 18, 2025 by Mode 7

[Seight]

Takes oatmeal baths with Peaches and Cream oatmeal

[The_annoying_one]

Bathes in a tub full of Cocoa Puffs in 2% milk.

[-Kudasai-]

Got expelled from Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters for abusing his mutant powers

[discolé monade]

hosts underground grocery cart races, where the men are men, but drive grocery carts...

 

[The_annoying_one]

Once told a waitress to “Slap the eggs on the flattop and make it snappy”. Is forever banned from that diner.

[discolé monade]

once worked at a denny's [the swing shift], got into with a waitress when she delivered the strangest order: slap the flatop you snappy egg.

they argued for a solid 20 minutes, 

 

 

i lauged all the way out the door. 

[Seight]

Television Champion of the nearest Waffle House

[The_annoying_one]

Puts mustard on waffles.

[discolé monade]

likes to walk around the boardwalk, and slap anyone eating a pretzel with no yellow mustard. 

[Seight]

Kicked out of the zoo for trying to teach the gorillas how to test suitcases

[discolé monade]

kicked out of the zoo for flinging poo at the chimpanzees. 

[The_annoying_one]

Carries a yardstick to the movie theater in an attempt to find out just how long each movie really is.

[[classic swim]]

Carries the wooden stick that killed Teddy Roosevelt. 

[discolé monade]

will NOT talk quietly and will NOT carry a big stick. 

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

Banned from the zoo for teaching the chimpanzees to fling their poo at the zoo-goers.

[The_annoying_one]

Goes to the grocery store and pokes holes in every water bottle in sight while yelling “Cleanup on aisle 5!!”

[Seight]

Was disappointed to find out "Death Dust" is just the powder packet version of Liquid Death water

[The_annoying_one]

Eats every slice of pizza between two slices of whole wheat raisin bread.

[Seight]

Puts peanut butter on Everything bagels

[[classic swim]]

He makes all the sexy ladies go “Seiiiiiiiiiggghhhhhht! Have more sex with us! Please!”

[little_girl_lost]

answered a for sale ad that read "free mattress: lightly shat"

[discolé monade]

on a dare, she put a rather, rancid matress, [she found in an abandoned mine], on craiglist. unbelievably, someone answered the add. 

[naraku360]

Incorrectly believes she doesn't fart.

[The_annoying_one]

Documents every single fart in a diary, with times and intensity clearly stated.

[discolé monade]

goes one step beyond, in the cataloguing and documentation of bodily gases: freezes them in air tight baby food jars. time stamped/odor/consistency. 

and one other CRUCIAL piece of data; was that fart, in fact, honking for the right of way?

Edited June 22, 2025 by discolé monade

[Seight]

Didn't expect this much business when starting a "Fart Diary" business on a dare

[The_annoying_one]

Ended a call with a telemarketer by telling them to like and follow for more content.

[discolé monade]

answers every 'potential scam' call with,  'hello there potential scam caller, how can you scam today?'

[Seight]

Answers potential spam calls by saying "Welcome to Costco, I love you."

[The_annoying_one]

Uses butter in place of sunscreen.

[discolé monade]

uses sunscreen as pomade. 

[The_annoying_one]

Likes to speak at elementary schools and proclaim the gospel of our lord and savior Jon Hamm to all the little ones.

[Seight]

Can tear a phone book in half using only a pair of garden shears 

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

Is the sole reason The Simpsons keep bringing Disco Stu back.