Attempted murder should be a misdemeanor

[Mix]

It's technically a non-violent crime.

I mean, I missed. No harm, no foul.

I'm really embarrassed, is that not punishment enough.

Edited November 12, 2023 by Mix

[The_annoying_one]

[Mix]

It's alright, I was processed then immediately released due to prison over-crowding.

The system works! 

[The_annoying_one]

As long as you’re rehabilitated, that’s all I care about. If this happens again, you probably won’t be so lucky.

[katt_goddess]

Nobody likes a quitter. 

That spider is still out there somewhere. 

[molarbear]

  On 11/12/2023 at 2:18 AM, Mix said:

It's technically a non-violent crime.

I mean, I missed. No harm, no foul.

I'm really embarrassed, is that not punishment enough.

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Bro....

You're opening the door to a world where people can randomly stab you in the shin repeatedly, and it's a misdemeanor

 

Which means suits of armor would probably make a comeback >.>

 

I'm no longer sure how I feel about this

[PhilosipherStoned]

It's not always "technically a non-violent crime though".. I don't want to buzz kill the joke any further though honestly. It's just my deep dive into criminal cases does usually leave people that get charged with "attempted murder" deserving of at least that or more... I mean usually the words "conspiracy to commit" or some other legal puke seems to be needed in the actual charge if the victim came out unscathed...

 

 

 

[Seight]

Remember, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

(What I mean is I don't think they give you partial credit for being bad at murder, the intent was still there.)

[Mix]

  On 11/12/2023 at 6:49 AM, molarbear said:

Bro....

You're opening the door to a world where people can randomly stab you in the shin repeatedly, and it's a misdemeanor

 

Which means suits of armor would probably make a comeback >.>

 

I'm no longer sure how I feel about this

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Suits of armor sound like a positive development.

It would be difficult to get in cars wearing all the armor, so horses would make a big comeback. That's better for the environment.

 

[Mix]

  On 11/12/2023 at 9:19 AM, PhilosipherStoned said:

It's not always "technically a non-violent crime though".. I don't want to buzz kill the joke any further though honestly. It's just my deep dive into criminal cases does usually leave people that get charged with "attempted murder" deserving of at least that or more... I mean usually the words "conspiracy to commit" or some other legal puke seems to be needed in the actual charge if the victim came out unscathed...

 

 

 

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*Note to self; attempt to murder Phil

[Mix]

  On 11/12/2023 at 12:00 PM, Seight said:

Remember, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

(What I mean is I don't think they give you partial credit for being bad at murder, the intent was still there.)

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Hey hey hey

Who said I was bad at murder?

Was it Cheryl?

She's a liar, man. Don't believe anything she says. I was just tired...and and...I caught a cramp. 

[discolé monade]

  On 11/12/2023 at 12:00 PM, Seight said:

Remember, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. ~~ and radiation.  ; ]

(What I mean is I don't think they give you partial credit for being bad at murder, the intent was still there.)

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[molarbear]

  On 11/12/2023 at 2:36 PM, Mix said:

Suits of armor sound like a positive development.

It would be difficult to get in cars wearing all the armor, so horses would make a big comeback. That's better for the environment.

 

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Yeah, but anytime it rained you'd have to worry about your armor rusting...and then you'd have to argue with your insurance about whether or not they're gonna cover a tetanus booster

[PhilosipherStoned]

  On 11/12/2023 at 2:39 PM, Mix said:

 

 

*Note to self; attempt to murder Phil

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I agree that legal codes are facetious so I'll give you a pass on the murder threat. Where in and pertaining to the permissions given to murder me PhilosipherStoned it must be stated that I the individual in question am not giving you consent. 

**Shrugs** That was my best attempt at legal speak anyway. 

Edited November 12, 2023 by PhilosipherStoned

[Mix]

  On 11/12/2023 at 11:18 PM, molarbear said:

Yeah, but anytime it rained you'd have to worry about your armor rusting...and then you'd have to argue with your insurance about whether or not they're gonna cover a tetanus booster

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It's called equivalent exchange.

So yeah, sure, we're gonna have to deal with a little tetanus here and there. Roving gangs on horseback may pillage a village or two. 

You just gotta remember what we're doing this for........shit, I forgot 

 

[Mix]

  On 11/12/2023 at 11:41 PM, PhilosipherStoned said:

I agree that legal codes are facetious so I'll give you a pass on the murder threat. Where in and pertaining to the permissions given to murder me PhilosipherStoned it must be stated that I the individual in question am not giving you consent. 

**Shrugs** That was my best attempt at legal speak anyway. 

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*Note to self; attempt to murder Phil

[PhilosipherStoned]

  On 11/13/2023 at 12:08 AM, Mix said:

 

 

*Note to self; attempt to murder Phil

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*Noted. Still just conspiracy though. How would you do it if you were going to kill me? I mean I'm just curious at this point, but I get telling me might not be the best idea.  I only ask because if I'm going to be murdered by someone I might be cool with someone like you doing it. If you don't have like a crazy die hard action plot plan I'm just going to go back to waiting for the day I drunkenly slip and bash my head in while taking a shower. 

[Mix]

  On 11/13/2023 at 12:20 AM, PhilosipherStoned said:

*Noted. Still just conspiracy though. How would you do it if you were going to kill me? I mean I'm just curious at this point, but I get telling me might not be the best idea.  I only ask because if I'm going to be murdered by someone I might be cool with someone like you doing it. If you don't have like a crazy die hard action plot plan I'm just going to go back to waiting for the day I drunkenly slip and bash my head in while taking a shower. 

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Hey, omg, I drink in the shower too.

Do you also masturbate in the car on the way to work?

If so, I don't think I can kill you. Can't kill a guy with the same morning ritual as me. That's sacrilege.

[PhilosipherStoned]

I sometimes drink in the shower, but I meant just being drunk or idek the rate of deaths for just slipping in a bathroom has always been scary to me. I've actually never tried masturbating on a work commute, and now I'm not sure if I've ever even lived. Thank you for this new lease on life. All I ask is that you let me ejaculate to the sound of Ariana Grande's ex husband playing Sponge Bob in a broadway musical before I die. 

Thank you Mix. 

 

Edited November 13, 2023 by PhilosipherStoned
Just one last passionate thrust!

[Mix]

  On 11/13/2023 at 12:40 AM, PhilosipherStoned said:

I sometimes drink in the shower, but I meant just being drunk or idek the rate of deaths for just slipping in a bathroom has always been scary to me. I've actually never tried masturbating on a work commute, and now I'm not sure if I've ever even lived. Thank you for this new lease on life. All I ask is that you let me ejaculate to the sound of Ariana Grande's ex husband playing Sponge Bob in a broadway musical before I die. 

Thank you Mix. 

 

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[molarbear]

  On 11/13/2023 at 12:02 AM, Mix said:

It's called equivalent exchange.

So yeah, sure, we're gonna have to deal with a little tetanus here and there. Roving gangs on horseback may pillage a village or two. 

You just gotta remember what we're doing this for........shit, I forgot 

 

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I created a fail safe for moments like this when I got my medical card

 

[discolé monade]

why do you have a bowl of lava?

[molarbear]

  On 11/13/2023 at 11:02 PM, discolé monade said:

why do you have a bowl of lava?

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because then people would see the ash tray with butts in it

and I'd feel obligated to explain that they were roaches and not cigs

...I didn't want to type all that out

but here I am

[André Toulon]

  On 11/14/2023 at 5:34 AM, molarbear said:

because then people would see the ash tray with butts in it

and I'd feel obligated to explain that they were roaches and not cigs

...I didn't want to type all that out

but here I am

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Lol wait, that's markup...you edited that 😆

I'll be honest, I didn't see anything wrong until disco said something 

[Mix]

  On 11/14/2023 at 5:34 AM, molarbear said:

because then people would see the ash tray with butts in it

and I'd feel obligated to explain that they were roaches and not cigs

...I didn't want to type all that out

but here I am

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and nothing says, "don't notice this," like the color red.