My best friend of 18 years started dating a guy

[Greeny]

and she thinks it's a good idea that we don't talk anymore. 

I'm sad.

[The_annoying_one]

Wanna get drunk?

[Greeny]

Just now, The_annoying_one said:

Wanna get drunk?

Only if it kills me.

[The_annoying_one]

2 minutes ago, Greeny said:

Only if it kills me.

I can’t be party to that. Sorry.

[Greeny]

1 minute ago, The_annoying_one said:

I can’t be party to that. Sorry.

I still appreciate the offer.

[atomicinumatt]

damn, seems a bit immature to me.. But if a friend of 18 years is willing to end a friendship over that, maybe it is for the best.

Let her do her thing haha she'll probably be back.

[The_annoying_one]

4 minutes ago, Greeny said:

I still appreciate the offer.

Anytime, sir.

[Greeny]

1 minute ago, atomicinumatt said:

damn, seems a bit immature to me.. But if a friend of 18 years is willing to end a friendship over that, maybe it is for the best.

Let her do her thing haha she'll probably be back.

Actually her bf is threatened by me because she and I were a thing for a while. She seems to like him though and wants to make it work, which I understand, as much as I hate it.

[Insipid]

Just now, Greeny said:

Actually her bf is threatened by me because she and I were a thing for a while. She seems to like him though and wants to make it work, which I understand, as much as I hate it.

Do you still try to make, or hope, that you and her are still a thing?

[MasqueradeOverture]

Ah... an Elaine situation, huh?

[Greeny]

4 minutes ago, Insipid said:

Do you still try to make, or hope, that you and her are still a thing?

Hope, kind of. I don't act on it though. I think the hardest part is that she's really the only person I talk to. I'm just kind of lost, if that makes sense.

[Greeny]

5 minutes ago, MasqueradeOverture said:

Ah... an Elaine situation, huh?

Elaine from Seinfeld?

[atomicinumatt]

3 minutes ago, Greeny said:

Elaine from Seinfeld?

[André Toulon]

Meh, i have one of those, but she never really "dumped" me like that.....I just kind of back off and she finds her way back....We don't talk about our little 6 month fling and at the time she made it clear I was just dick.  Now she doesn't gaf, she talks to me no matter what situation we're in and we kinda cant hide that we at least passively communicate....We share streaming services. So my name is on all of hers that she pays for and her name is on all of mine.

[Greeny]

8 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

Meh, i have one of those, but she never really "dumped" me like that.....I just kind of back off and she finds her way back....We don't talk about our little 6 month fling and at the time she made it clear I was just dick.  Now she doesn't gaf, she talks to me no matter what situation we're in and we kinda cant hide that we at least passively communicate....We share streaming services. So my name is on all of hers that she pays for and her name is on all of mine.

That's the kind of situation I'm hoping for. I just want her to talk to. That's enough for me as long as she's happy. She's been there for 18 years and now she's not. It's literally life changing and Idk how to deal with it.

[ghostrek]

Seems to me bit of more of a controlling thing from the guy

 

 

but I'm never been in a relationship myself so I can only judge by observing and I have seen a lot of bad relationships

[Greeny]

51 minutes ago, ghostrek said:

Seems to me bit of more of a controlling thing from the guy

 

 

but I'm never been in a relationship myself so I can only judge by observing and I have seen a lot of bad relationships

That's what I told her. Not to mention the other red flags she mentioned. I'm hoping he shows how much of an asshole he is.

[ghostrek]

1 minute ago, Greeny said:

That's what I told her. Not to mention the other red flags she mentioned. I'm hoping he shows how much of an asshole he is.

That's a lot of people in relationships I don't see the bad until too late

[1pooh4u]

That sucks big ol red flag against whomever she’s with 

[Greeny]

9 minutes ago, 1pooh4u said:

That sucks big ol red flag against whomever she’s with 

I tried to tell her. He get's to talk to all of his female friends though. That's what fucking pisses me off the most.

[1pooh4u]

51 minutes ago, Greeny said:

I tried to tell her. He get's to talk to all of his female friends though. That's what fucking pisses me off the most.

It’s totally not cool at all.   Hope he’s not isolating her from her female friends too but in my experience it doesn’t stop at male friends.  Eventually it becomes all friends. 

[Greeny]

5 minutes ago, 1pooh4u said:

It’s totally not cool at all.   Hope he’s not isolating her from her female friends too but in my experience it doesn’t stop at male friends.  Eventually it becomes all friends. 

Well I'm not going to go into anymore detail about her relationship but I can absolutely see that happening already. I just hope she realizes sooner rather than later.

[André Toulon]

1 hour ago, 1pooh4u said:

It’s totally not cool at all.   Hope he’s not isolating her from her female friends too but in my experience it doesn’t stop at male friends.  Eventually it becomes all friends. 

I dated a chick like that...first it was my female friends, then it was my single male friends, then it was even the couples and I was like "damn, is it really worth all this cocaine if she's the only person i ever get to be around" and for about 8 months total, it was....then she attacked my mom. 

[1pooh4u]

2 hours ago, Greeny said:

Well I'm not going to go into anymore detail about her relationship but I can absolutely see that happening already. I just hope she realizes sooner rather than later.

Hopefully it all works out and you can be there for her once she gets away from him

[1pooh4u]

54 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

I dated a chick like that...first it was my female friends, then it was my single male friends, then it was even the couples and I was like "damn, is it really worth all this cocaine if she's the only person i ever get to be around" and for about 8 months total, it was....then she attacked my mom. 

I was with a guy like that lost jobs over it and everything. He would sit outside my job and just wait my entire shift. I couldn’t do anything without getting the third degree.  People like that are NEVER worth it. Even ethey give you drugs cuz that’s another way to be controlling 

[Greeny]

4 minutes ago, 1pooh4u said:

Hopefully it all works out and you can be there for her once she gets away from him

I told her I'll be here if she needs me. It's out of my hands now.

[naraku360]

On 8/5/2023 at 8:52 PM, Greeny said:

Actually her bf is threatened by me because she and I were a thing for a while. She seems to like him though and wants to make it work, which I understand, as much as I hate it.

Isolation is textbook abuse. Red flags, my dude.

If a partner wants to control who her friends are, he's probably not going to respect what she wants elsewhere.

Edited August 9, 2023 by naraku360

[Lynnrael]

14 minutes ago, naraku360 said:

Isolation is textbook abuse. Red flags, my dude.

If a partner wants to control who her friends are, he's probably not going to respect what she wants elsewhere.

my thoughts exactly, this a serious red flag, it is not healthy to dictate who one's partners can and can't be friends with.

 

edit: repeating that probably isn't helpful at this point. so the best i can do is internet hugs *hugs* sorry this is happening. such bullshit

Edited August 9, 2023 by Lynnrael

[Greeny]

5 hours ago, naraku360 said:

Isolation is textbook abuse. Red flags, my dude.

If a partner wants to control who her friends are, he's probably not going to respect what she wants elsewhere.

You're preaching to the choir.

[Greeny]

5 hours ago, Lynnrael said:

my thoughts exactly, this a serious red flag, it is not healthy to dictate who one's partners can and can't be friends with.

 

edit: repeating that probably isn't helpful at this point. so the best i can do is internet hugs *hugs* sorry this is happening. such bullshit

Appreciate it.