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UnevenEdge

one of my friends from back in the day is dead


Poof

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I used to party w/her all the time and we'd buy and sell drugs to each other

She died 2 years ago. I only even know bc I'm looking thru facebook and her page is memorialized 

which explains why jake has been sober for 2 years. I didn't think he would ever stop

I didn't realize how much time passed since I last looked up everyone

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38 minutes ago, PhilosipherStoned said:

Sorry to hear. I've had plenty of that shit to deal with even before covid season. Thankfully no one else added to it from the virus yet, but it still makes this shit extra depressing for me hearing about a lot of people losing family from it. 😷

yea me too. I've lost so many people and she def is the type. Like the type where it's not tragic bc of how she was. Esp w/her sense of humor about things like this. She intimidated me w/her use and the way she associated w/ppl. Like she made me feel like I didn't know what I was doing and that I was going to die or get arrested. So I guess it just feels weird that shes dead and I'm not. I really liked this bitch. It's a very numb sorrow. Like I know I'm not going to cry but I'll be thinking about her all the time for the foreseeable future.

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33 minutes ago, cyberbully said:

Meh, wait until you're 40....ive lost at least 6 homies this year. Eventually you have ti stop or at least slow down

It is a bad year but 6 seems like a lot. Thats strange to me. My experience it feels like more of us died young, and theres less deaths as I get older. Speaking about pre-porn party friends of course.. W/porn girls it's just like a steady loss. Which is really unnerving how constant and consistent the deaths are. And the fact that so many are murders. And less fans/clients do it than you'd think. Like fans and clients def do kill porn girls but idk something about being in porn either makes you attract ppl in your life who will kill you or makes ppl just wanna kill u. It's like 1/3 ODs 1/3 suicides 1/3 murders. Like before I started I knew porn girls died a lot. But I imagined it to be like 90% ODs/suicides and at most maybe 10% murders. It's just way more than I imagined.

It's like wake up and hear so-and-so died and ask "How?"

"Well this guy dismembered her and burned her body in the forest."

"... .... well... FUCK... was it a fan?"

"nah. Roommate"

"ah, ok.. thought it might be a crazed fan"

"Nope"

"well if youll excuse me I'm gonna go stare off into space for a lil while"

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19 minutes ago, Poof said:

It is a bad year but 6 seems like a lot.

I didn't want to quote the whole thing and stretch the page, but my assumption with Porn actresses is it's part jealousy, because they are confident enough to have sex on camera and I assume part of it is that people have this really shitty idea that sex workers/porn industry people aren't really people.

 

EDIT:  Oh, it's a lot just because all of these weren't murders....I don't count it when one of my friends gets laid out in the streets because I understand never leaving the streets, but if you're still this dedicated to showing the hood your nuts as a career, well...It's gonna happen. (I know at least 3 dude got laid out this year, but fuck em.)  This was different because none of those 6 were street dudes.  Family men with jobs who still had "habits".....And since I'm not super nosey, I don't know the causes of some....Covid, maybe...or just really shitty lifestyle choices.

Edited by BlackNoir
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8 hours ago, BlackNoir said:

I didn't want to quote the whole thing and stretch the page, but my assumption with Porn actresses is it's part jealousy, because they are confident enough to have sex on camera and I assume part of it is that people have this really shitty idea that sex workers/porn industry people aren't really people.

 

EDIT:  Oh, it's a lot just because all of these weren't murders....I don't count it when one of my friends gets laid out in the streets because I understand never leaving the streets, but if you're still this dedicated to showing the hood your nuts as a career, well...It's gonna happen. (I know at least 3 dude got laid out this year, but fuck em.)  This was different because none of those 6 were street dudes.  Family men with jobs who still had "habits".....And since I'm not super nosey, I don't know the causes of some....Covid, maybe...or just really shitty lifestyle choices.

I was wondering if maybe some were covid / if you knew the cause. Just seems like a lot of ODs depending on how many people you know. Like I lost contact with pretty much everyone by now. Like I said this girl died 2 years ago and I didn't even know. Still tho it feels like as I got older there were less and less ODs. I unno

Edited by Poof
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25 minutes ago, Poof said:

I was wondering if maybe some were covid / if you knew the cause. Just seems like a lot of ODs depending on how many people you know. Like I lost contact with pretty much everyone by now. Like I said this girl died 2 years ago and I didn't even know. Still tho it feels like as I got older there were less and less ODs. I unno

Well I'm not arguing. It probably has been less for you, but as I people I know, they are dying from not just directly ODing but like Big Willie was still tooting powder and popping e like he was 15 and he died of a heart attack in his sleep at 40.  

But as i said, with others...I just know how they partied....The death could have been something else but i didn't dig

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1 minute ago, scoobdog said:

Well, there is going to be some trauma when a person goes from being alive in your memory to being dead, especially if that person means something to you.

maybe im too dead inside myself to feel anything

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4 hours ago, Poof said:

another weird ass scoob like and why is scoob even talking to me anyway

This is why I don't give many likes and I only post in derision.  Scoob is just trying to be supportive, and even though I've picked up on the whole 'I don't want your sympathy, I want your attention" vibe behind your posts...I still wouldn't try to feign empathy in a situation I know nothing about.

Scoob does, because that's him and has been for at least the decade i've known him

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7 hours ago, BlackNoir said:

This is why I don't give many likes and I only post in derision.  Scoob is just trying to be supportive, and even though I've picked up on the whole 'I don't want your sympathy, I want your attention" vibe behind your posts...I still wouldn't try to feign empathy in a situation I know nothing about.

Scoob does, because that's him and has been for at least the decade i've known him

Is that good or bad no sympathy but attention?

And w/scoob its different he doesnt txt me back anymore which i get but its weird that he will talk on the boards still

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6 hours ago, Ric said:

I glanced at the threads and thought it said your friend is back from the dead. So the zombie apocalypse hasn't started then.....

If she does go zomber im going to chain her up and play videogames w/her like in the end of shaun of the dead

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8 minutes ago, Poof said:

Is that good or bad no sympathy but attention?

And w/scoob its different he doesnt txt me back anymore which i get but its weird that he will talk on the boards still

Neither good nor bad. It's a preference and what you want out of your board experience.

As far as soon goes, I don't know exactly you methods of contacting him, but giving the benefit of the doubt, he has al ol lady and maybe he had to block you to maintain peace.  Tho I would think he would tell you here if that were the case.

But I really came to this thread to tell you, another one gone and this time I asked but I felt better about asking since my cousin pmd me and I was close to this dude....Hearing it was diabetes makes me feel better because he wasn't into doing drugs...he sold them and was a follower of the don't get high on your own supply rule... But he drank like a fish and anytime we hung out, it was a test for our livers so hearing it wasn't "directly" linked to drinking, I'll rest better

 

 

Screenshot_20201221-145529.png

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21 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

Neither good nor bad. It's a preference and what you want out of your board experience.

As far as soon goes, I don't know exactly you methods of contacting him, but giving the benefit of the doubt, he has al ol lady and maybe he had to block you to maintain peace.  Tho I would think he would tell you here if that were the case.

But I really came to this thread to tell you, another one gone and this time I asked but I felt better about asking since my cousin pmd me and I was close to this dude....Hearing it was diabetes makes me feel better because he wasn't into doing drugs...he sold them and was a follower of the don't get high on your own supply rule... But he drank like a fish and anytime we hung out, it was a test for our livers so hearing it wasn't "directly" linked to drinking, I'll rest better

 

 

Screenshot_20201221-145529.png

Well diabetes you can get from mainlining cheeseburgers so is it an addiction all the same? We're all dying from a vice or an addiction. And i mean if he was an alcoholic thats absolutely a drug. Anyway we shouldnt be sad when someone dies the way they choose maybe i unno

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43 minutes ago, Poof said:

Well diabetes you can get from mainlining cheeseburgers so is it an addiction all the same? We're all dying from a vice or an addiction. And i mean if he was an alcoholic thats absolutely a drug. Anyway we shouldnt be sad when someone dies the way they choose maybe i unno

Hereditary, he wasn't a big dude. 

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