viperxmns Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 Here you can tell a spoopy story Spoopy story A man walks into an establishment. "Hello, I am interested in a haunted ventriloquist dummy for my trailer park." " I am sorry sir, we are sold out." "Oh, is that right". "Yes sir, I do apologize" This is very important to me. Please tell me when they will become available" "I cannot do that at this time sir" "Why" "Because I am dead sir" [Skeleton creak] "Oh. He was a skeleton" 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaBarney Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 Bats flew out of a cave. A ghost screamed A pack of howling wolves draws nearer... Next on Sick Sad World Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seight Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 I HAVE CREATED THE MOST DANGEROUS CREATURE IN THE UNIVERSE! *creature rises from table* It turns out it's Man. *scare chords* 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted October 14, 2020 Share Posted October 14, 2020 A loud bang across your door. "Go Away!" you cry, but the banging only becomes louder and more aggressive. *Thud* *Thud*!, you hear someone slamming their body against the door; they're trying to get in. You get up to reinforce the door, but it's too late. The door swings open barely hanging on the hinges. You can't believe it, as he steps inside. It's Hollywood Actor Bill Murray! "Confused, I can only imagine" laughs Bill as he walks past you into your kitchen; he opens your fridge. "You call this shit food, I'm insulted; or perhaps I made a mistake and this is the bathroom". Bill laughs to himself as he unzips his pants pissing through the contents of your fridge. "Why Are You doing this!" You cry out. Bill looks over "Because I already took a shit on your car seat". Angry and confused you grab your phone to call the police. Bill getting ready to snort a line of your grandmothers Ashes "Nobody will believe you; HA, they never do". "Help Bill Murray is in my house! He pissed in my fridge, shit in my car, and he's sorting my grandmothers ashes!!!". The dispatcher sounds less than amused with her tone. "Sir this is for emergencies only, good bye.". Bill Suddenly grabs your head and leans it back into his sweaty body. "Told you, but don't take it so bad". Bill tilts a whole bottle of whisky back and swallows. "Oh man I don't think I'm not as young as I used to be". Bill squeezes your face opening your mouth and vomits the whisky mixed with his stomach contents into your throat. You squirm trying to get out of his fat sweaty grip, but can't overpower him. You cough, your body is instantly trying to expel the regurgitated contents. Bill Covers your mouth and nose and starts rubbing your throat "There, there like a baby bird". The only thing you can manage to ask is "Why?". Bill drops you to the ground as you vomit all over the floor, sweat and vomit dripping from your face you cry out again "Why!". Bill says nothing and simply walks to the door knocking down everything in his path on the way out. Days later you still recoil at the thought. He was right nobody did believe you, and the more you tried to rationalize it, the more unstable it sounded. It's over for now, but for how long? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperxmns Posted October 18, 2020 Author Share Posted October 18, 2020 "Please, don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate!" cried Uter. "Silly child, that is exactly why I shall pursue you to the ends of the Earth", replied Count Chocula. "How do you think I got to be this way?" Uter ran onward through the brambles, though he was exhausted and in much pain. The first rays of sun were still hours away, and the night was cold. He desperately searched for a hole or grotto to hide in. The ruthless vampire was gaining on him, a dark shape in his peripheral view that would not abate. His legs, scraped and bloody, were altogether laying a path for the hungry Count to follow. "All this running is making me hungry", Uter thought to himself. He searched his pocket for another piece of the very candy that put him in such a predicament. He found one. But it fell. "Oh no!" Uter halted, torn between two desires, to eat and to live. "Living now lets you eat more candy later", he wisely thought. So he ran on. Soon Uter came to a lake. The count was right on his heels. "I've got you now, you delicious fat morsel!" He crowed. "Water is very harmful to draculas." this knowledge passed down through generations suddenly came to the forefront of Uter's young mind. He ran right to the edge of the water. He stopped and turned. Count Chocula was all too eager for his prey. Tunnel vision closed in. He could not see the lake in front of him. As he dived in for the kill, Uter dodged. SPLASH. "NOOOOOOOO!!", Count Chocula cried, as he slowly dissolved into oblivion. Heaving from the effort, Uter collapsed. He had won. Now to search for that candy he dropped... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 These are getting too long to be entertaining 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted October 25, 2020 Share Posted October 25, 2020 You hear your mother call you from downstairs. As you climb out of bed your mother whispers from the closet "honey, don't go down there; I heard it too". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted October 25, 2020 Share Posted October 25, 2020 My child won't stop screaming and crying through the night making it impossible to sleep. I visited her grave and asked for her to stop; it didn't help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted October 25, 2020 Share Posted October 25, 2020 Growing up with pets I was used to hearing the sounds of scratching on my door at night; of them wanting in. Now that I live alone and don't have pets, it's far more unsettling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperxmns Posted October 25, 2020 Author Share Posted October 25, 2020 Inside every clown Is a spoopy clown skeleton 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seight Posted October 25, 2020 Share Posted October 25, 2020 8 hours ago, viperxmns said: Inside every clown Is a spoopy clown skeleton Oh, it goes deeper than that. Spoiler EVERYONE'S GOT A SKELETON INSIDE THEM!!!1! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperxmns Posted October 25, 2020 Author Share Posted October 25, 2020 It goes where you go It does what you do There is no escape From the skeleton inside you 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuyBeardmane Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 TRUE SPOOKY STORY (that turns out not to be really spooky but a pretty amusing anecdote) Many years ago I was hanging out with a friend. We'd get together and watch DVDs every weekend until we fell asleep. One night she was having a bad night and wanted to go for a walk. It was past midnight, and the road we walked down had a cemetery. She was prepping me for this walk by telling me of the cemetery a little before we got there, and I (being in my mid-20s) decided to make jokes and tease her. I started saying things like "ooo, there's gonna be a ghooost" and making the spooky "ooo" sounds. We rounded the turn and the cemetery came into view and we both froze, because there was something floating over one of the graves. It felt like we stood there for eternity and then it finally clicked to me that it was a flag flapping in the breeze. After I breathed and pointed it out my friend laughed and we continued walking but I didn't bring up ghosts or anything for the rest of the walk. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperxmns Posted October 25, 2023 Author Share Posted October 25, 2023 The space shuttle achieves liftoff "Uh oh, I forgot" says Bill "What is it?" asked his crewmate Alice "I am werewolf" replies Bill 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 the last man on earth sat alone, in a room. there was a knock at the door. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_annoying_one Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 A woman was trapped in a room with nothing but a mirror. The mirror was evil or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
André Toulon Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 He reached for the toilet paper.... BUT THE ROLL WAS EMPTY 😱 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted October 25, 2023 Share Posted October 25, 2023 she let her hand hang over the bed. the dog licked her hand. she doesn't have a dog. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_annoying_one Posted October 26, 2023 Share Posted October 26, 2023 The masked maniac was standing outside her window. And then her phone rang. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[classic swim] Posted October 26, 2023 Share Posted October 26, 2023 He informed the nice lady that him and his kid were only four seconds late. The McDonald’s employee politely reassures that they stop serving breakfast at 10:30. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROYGBIV Posted October 26, 2023 Share Posted October 26, 2023 Onc upn a tme der wuz a dime. Da end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted October 26, 2023 Share Posted October 26, 2023 i was starving and lost in the woods, until i found a hiker. i'm full now, i just wished she hadn't screamed so loud. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seight Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 We can never go back to Bat Country. They knocked it down and put a Five Below there. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperxmns Posted October 27, 2023 Author Share Posted October 27, 2023 That night Jimbly and his buddies went to play at the abandoned clown factory However It was full of abandoned clowns Jimbly did not sign up for this Good bye Jimbly 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_annoying_one Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 The vampire asked the woman if he could enter her house. The woman said no. The vampire had no choice but to leave. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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