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New True Facts: Mating Dance of The Peacock Spider

Gina Szanboti

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"You're like a Transformer!"  I also love that the spider talking about opening a hair salon has a face on her butt:


And the lyrics to the songs are just the best.

"Look at dis butt.  I know ya can't help it.  Waitin' in line to see a butt like mine, feel helpless.
This butt don't sweat, but it can knit you a sweater.
You ain' never gonna see a better sweater-weather sweater than a butt-knit sweater. 
Happy time! 
I know you see this hiney!  It's such a shiny hiney!
Arms are loose.  Knees are bending.
Peacock straight up like the needle of a compass on a South Pole penguin.
My body shakes.  Knees start shakin'.
I got gristle in the middle but the back's all stacked like fatback bacon!"

"I spell 'ostrich' with a capital D.  You gotta pay for the 'O' because the D ain't free! <that don' make sense>"

"This puffin got some stuffin' for yo puffin muffin. <You're so good at rhyming!"

"This booby cutie got a cute booty, let's take it off like we're on eraser duty.
Wanna see boobies, like we're in a B movie."

Fucking brilliant. :D

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