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So I got invited to DJ this


lupin_bebop

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42 minutes ago, lupin_bebop said:

Depends.

They are going to have to pay me. Also, there are minimums they must meet. 

Do you charge a deposit to hold the date or just everything up front?

Thinking about minimums for you specifically in this context vs normal mins is making me laugh.

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2 hours ago, lesans_muse said:

Do you charge a deposit to hold the date or just everything up front?

Thinking about minimums for you specifically in this context vs normal mins is making me laugh.

Again. Depends. Depends on the event and where.

Most events, I have you pay everything up front, and I show early, setup, do it, and go. Usually it's $100/hour for just music with a 3 hour minimum. I've done other deals before. I'm willing to negotiate within some reason. I'm pretty cheap as a DJ, really. Mostly, you're paying for my time (because gas and bills don't pay themselves).

Weddings, it's half up front (DBAA fee), then half at least 35 days before the date (to keep you from making last minute changes like an asshole). I don't even take your phone call for less than $1000 for a wedding. Again, I'll negotiate a little bit, but not much. Weddings are a big endeavor, because I have to talk to your wedding planner, the venue, and (sometimes) the police.

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7 minutes ago, lupin_bebop said:

Again. Depends. Depends on the event and where.

Most events, I have you pay everything up front, and I show early, setup, do it, and go. Usually it's $100/hour for just music with a 3 hour minimum. I've done other deals before. I'm willing to negotiate within some reason. I'm pretty cheap as a DJ, really. Mostly, you're paying for my time (because gas and bills don't pay themselves).

Weddings, it's half up front (DBAA fee), then half at least 35 days before the date (to keep you from making last minute changes like an asshole). I don't even take your phone call for less than $1000 for a wedding. Again, I'll negotiate a little bit, but not much. Weddings are a big endeavor, because I have to talk to your wedding planner, the venue, and (sometimes) the police.

@lesans_muse Not to mention that I have to keep with certain wedding trends....like the trend now is remote barnyard weddings......without wifi or cell service.
Why?
Them: "Because people always ruin the moment with their phones and social media."
Me (thinking): "Bitch, you just posted about your fucking wedding literally 30 seconds ago and every 12 hours for the last 2 weeks. Fuck you. Also, guess what I need as your DJ? A FUCKING INTERNET CONNECTION. Especially when you ask for some stupid, mundane shit I don't fucking have. I have to be able to download it somehow, fucker."
Me (aloud, poker faced as fuck): "Yeah. I understand that. It can be a bummer when a phone rings during your moment."

Edited by lupin_bebop
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7 minutes ago, PhilosipherStoned said:

Yeah they blow chunks too from what I've seen. Meh. 

I'm an actual GOOD DJ (been doing this for 16+ years), and I'm cheap. For weddings, I'm cheap, too.
Still, I have a bare minimum that I need for a wedding. That's why I won't even take the phone call for a minimum of $1000. Wedding tax, also known as DBAA (Don't Be An Asshole) Tax.
If you knew the planning I have to put in for a wedding, you'd understand. It's more than just show up, set up, play, collect check. Most of it is fucking with the venue and your wedding planner. Also, making sure I have Internet/hotspot capability, because I will undoubtedly get a request I don't have....because someone is going to want something EXTREMELY stupid as fuck that I don't have because I don't listen to the radio.

Hell, I'll do a birthday party for like $100 simply because I don't have to mix.

Edited by lupin_bebop
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Yeah....once you've been around....you know who are crap DJs and GOOD DJs, especially for weddings.
You paid them less than $700 for your DJ? Watch him be shitty and cock up your wedding. You see videos of those type of DJs all the time. Making my job harder everyday.

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3 hours ago, lupin_bebop said:

@lesans_muse Not to mention that I have to keep with certain wedding trends....like the trend now is remote barnyard weddings......without wifi or cell service.
Why?
Them: "Because people always ruin the moment with their phones and social media."
Me (thinking): "Bitch, you just posted about your fucking wedding literally 30 seconds ago and every 12 hours for the last 2 weeks. Fuck you. Also, guess what I need as your DJ? A FUCKING INTERNET CONNECTION. Especially when you ask for some stupid, mundane shit I don't fucking have. I have to be able to download it somehow, fucker."
Me (aloud, poker faced as fuck): "Yeah. I understand that. It can be a bummer when a phone rings during your moment."

I would absolutely never do weddings, in any form. The no wifi in a barn is hilariously awful.  Never thought of it that way. 😂😬

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10 hours ago, avec said:

I would absolutely never do weddings, in any form. The no wifi in a barn is hilariously awful.  Never thought of it that way. 😂😬

Unfortunately, weddings are the most lucrative thing for me as a DJ. They are pretty much pure profit, because you're paying a "Wedding Tax" on my time.
There's a lot more planning and moving around and equipment when it comes to a wedding, that's what you are paying for, the time out of my life.
Trust me, your guests hate driving out to remote locations as much as much as your entertainment. We know it's your day, but you don't have to be a dick about it. Especially if you make your wedding on a Friday at 6:30 PM (which is a new trend in the last 2 years).

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3 hours ago, Vamped said:

Those barn house weddings look cute on TV but .... imma need air conditioning because I dont like to be hot.

Im a maid of honor for a wedding next year and its outside in summer

.... im just like ... 

Wait for my reception speech

 

tumblr_ncmeavwxSX1roe7w6o3_250.gifv

I'm in Texas....so imagine that.....in 100+ degree heat. Imagine you've woken up at 6 AM after getting home at 3 AM from the night before, then driving the 2 HOURS to get to the venue early for setup. You're lucky and were able to stop and get a Sausage McMuffin, hashbrown, and 2 larges cokes from McDonald's on the way in.
Also....imagine you had to haul 2-4 50 pounds speakers from your car a quarter mile away, along with an 8-foot picnic table, speaker stands, mic stand, backpack with laptop and fixins, 95 pound bag of cables, and a bunch of lights.....all in a tuxedo....or, at lightest, slacks, shirt, and tie. I'm lucky in that I have a dolly to help lighten this load.

Then, you find out there's pretty much no power outlets around you, so you're gonna have to run extensions everywhere. Aso, you're one power strip short, you find out when you get there.
Also, someone in the family is a rapper/producer/musician/DJ and wants you to plug in their device so people can hear their SoundCloud/MixCloud/Spotify list.
The venue manager is telling you that you can't play too loud, because it's going to be noon, and you don't want to bother anyone. You've been told you will now be needing a mic for announcements, even though the venue told you 2 months ago they would handle that.
You're scrambling to try and see if you have cell service just in case things fail. You can playlist from your phone. You're also trying to make sure your separate hotspot is up, running, and charging.
Then, the family is asking you about what songs are you gonna play and your equipment. Do you have Cupid Shuffle? Do you have Gangnam Style? Do you have [insert moronically overplayed popular song from the radio that you don't give fucks about]? Do you have any Artist-You-Give-No-Fucks-About? Can [random person who's not me] DJ? Can you scratch? Do you have a REAL job?

Then....something weird happens.....the power flickers....and they have no backup generator.

The bride is now screaming at you that you weren't supposed to be in yet, because you agreed to come in 15 minutes later than you're here now, and you're ruining the wedding.....because you beat the caterers here. Also, if you don't play the right song at the right time when they come back from the ceremony, you're fired on the spot (even though she signed a contract about this before). Don't play any EDM or good music, because Nana won't like it. Also, don't flirt with the bridesmaids, because this is about the bride, not her drunk, horny, lonely bridesmaids who look better than her (sometimes).

You find out that it's NOT an open bar..........

giphy.gif

Edited by lupin_bebop
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4 hours ago, lupin_bebop said:

I'm in Texas....so imagine that.....in 100+ degree heat. Imagine you've woken up at 6 AM after getting home at 3 AM from the night before, then driving the 2 HOURS to get to the venue early for setup. You're lucky and were able to stop and get a Sausage McMuffin, hashbrown, and 2 larges cokes from McDonald's on the way in.
Also....imagine you had to haul 2-4 50 pounds speakers from your car a quarter mile away, along with an 8-foot picnic table, speaker stands, mic stand, backpack with laptop and fixins, 95 pound bag of cables, and a bunch of lights.....all in a tuxedo....or, at lightest, slacks, shirt, and tie. I'm lucky in that I have a dolly to help lighten this load.

Then, you find out there's pretty much no power outlets around you, so you're gonna have to run extensions everywhere. Aso, you're one power strip short, you find out when you get there.
Also, someone in the family is a rapper/producer/musician/DJ and wants you to plug in their device so people can hear their SoundCloud/MixCloud/Spotify list.
The venue manager is telling you that you can't play too loud, because it's going to be noon, and you don't want to bother anyone. You've been told you will now be needing a mic for announcements, even though the venue told you 2 months ago they would handle that.
You're scrambling to try and see if you have cell service just in case things fail. You can playlist from your phone. You're also trying to make sure your separate hotspot is up, running, and charging.
Then, the family is asking you about what songs are you gonna play and your equipment. Do you have Cupid Shuffle? Do you have Gangnam Style? Do you have [insert moronically overplayed popular song from the radio that you don't give fucks about]? Do you have any Artist-You-Give-No-Fucks-About? Can [random person who's not me] DJ? Can you scratch? Do you have a REAL job?

Then....something weird happens.....the power flickers....and they have no backup generator.

The bride is now screaming at you that you weren't supposed to be in yet, because you agreed to come in 15 minutes later than you're here now, and you're ruining the wedding.....because you beat the caterers here. Also, if you don't play the right song at the right time when they come back from the ceremony, you're fired on the spot (even though she signed a contract about this before). Don't play any EDM or good music, because Nana won't like it. Also, don't flirt with the bridesmaids, because this is about the bride, not her drunk, horny, lonely bridesmaids who look better than her (sometimes).

You find out that it's NOT an open bar..........

giphy.gif

MY. GOD. THE AGONY.

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4 hours ago, lupin_bebop said:

Unfortunately, weddings are the most lucrative thing for me as a DJ. They are pretty much pure profit, because you're paying a "Wedding Tax" on my time.
There's a lot more planning and moving around and equipment when it comes to a wedding, that's what you are paying for, the time out of my life.
Trust me, your guests hate driving out to remote locations as much as much as your entertainment. We know it's your day, but you don't have to be a dick about it. Especially if you make your wedding on a Friday at 6:30 PM (which is a new trend in the last 2 years).

A wedding at 6:30 on a weekday is fucking ridiculous.

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2 minutes ago, Vamped said:

So .... what type of person

No .... wait 

 

 

How did you imagine this working out?

I already told you, I imagined you having strippers at the wedding. :P Unless you were going to have the wedding in vegas because that's where the strippers are, but make two separate trips, which would completely defeat the purpose of having the wedding close to where the strippers are....

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16 minutes ago, Vamped said:

So .... what type of person

No .... wait 

 

 

How did you imagine this working out?

He's right.  Why wouldn't you have male strippers at your wedding?  If not for you, for your drunk, horny bridesmaids... and family, so they aren't getting in the way....

It makes more sense the more i think about it...

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17 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

I already told you, I imagined you having strippers at the wedding. :P Unless you were going to have the wedding in vegas because that's where the strippers are, but make two separate trips, which would completely defeat the purpose of having the wedding close to where the strippers are....

 

4 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

He's right.  Why wouldn't you have male strippers at your wedding?  If not for you, for your drunk, horny bridesmaids... and family, so they aren't getting in the way....

It makes more sense the more i think about it...

 

So .... this is the person Ive represented myself on the internet as 

source.gif

 

Thats fine. Im not getting married anyway

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1 hour ago, Vamped said:

>.>

Ill probably just fucking get married in Vegas.

Chippendales is already there plus there's a chapel at every resort

 

Also .... 2 LARGE COKES?!

 

 

Vegas is fun....and cheap.

Yes. 2 large Cokes. Remember, I got up at the ass crack of dawn after 3 hours of sleep....you need one just to wake the Hell up. The other one is simply because I need it to stay awake after setup.

I'm a camel.......

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5 minutes ago, lupin_bebop said:

Vegas is fun....and cheap.

Yes. 2 large Cokes. Remember, I got up at the ass crack of dawn after 3 hours of sleep....you need one just to wake the Hell up. The other one is simply because I need it to stay awake after setup.

I cant even drink a whole can anymore. 

>.<

 

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3 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

I already told you, I imagined you having strippers at the wedding. :P Unless you were going to have the wedding in vegas because that's where the strippers are, but make two separate trips, which would completely defeat the purpose of having the wedding close to where the strippers are....

Strippers are everywhere, man.

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2 hours ago, lupin_bebop said:

Vegas is fun....and cheap.

Yes. 2 large Cokes. Remember, I got up at the ass crack of dawn after 3 hours of sleep....you need one just to wake the Hell up. The other one is simply because I need it to stay awake after setup.

I'm a camel.......

If I was more motivated Id work some ms paint magic for a camel with a bottle of coke for each hump.

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