Whats wrong w/me?

[Poof]

Why do i feel like this?

[That_One_Guy]

What's wrong? 

[crackymckrackin]

1 hour ago, Poof said:

Why do i feel like this?

Pots.

[tsar4]

3 hours ago, Poof said:

Why do i feel like this?

How many billions of people ask themselves that every day?

 

[Poof]

8 hours ago, That_One_Guy said:

What's wrong? 

I feel so antisocial. I've always been outgoing. Idk what's happening. I can be withdrawn on bad days but even good days rn I just don't feel like doing anything but working out, eating, and watching tv. Like I'm at my parents' and normally I want to get out of here and make every effort to do so. I'll talk to fans constantly and schedule as many shows as I can do. Right now tho. I'm not making any effort. I'm even ignoring my fav fans who I don't mind talking to bc they usually make me feel good and they pay out.

And I have plenty of money to buy a new xbox to stream on twitch again but I keep just not buying it. I'm affiliate now so I'd make money if I did.

I havent spent that $50 amazon card bc I just dont feel the need for anything.

I'm not even reading the news. I have no idea whats happening. Usually I have to know. 

I swear it's not depression. I'm happy about the progress I'm making w/my workouts. Like my gym tan laundry game is really strong rn. And I clean the house and take care of the cats. I'm doing a lot. When I'm depressed I don't do anything but lay in bed. 

I'm apathetic in a way I guess. Idk it's such a strange mood I've been stuck in. 

[Poof]

8 hours ago, crackymckrackin said:

Pots.

Thats probably it. I'm quite sober.

Without psychedelics life is a gray threadbare existence.

[🍬Candy🍬]

3 minutes ago, Poof said:

I feel so antisocial. I've always been outgoing. Idk what's happening. I can be withdrawn on bad days but even good days rn I just don't feel like doing anything but working out, eating, and watching tv. Like I'm at my parents' and normally I want to get out of here and make every effort to do so. I'll talk to fans constantly and schedule as many shows as I can do. Right now tho. I'm not making any effort. I'm even ignoring my fav fans who I don't mind talking to bc they usually make me feel good and they pay out.

And I have plenty of money to buy a new xbox to stream on twitch again but I keep just not buying it. I'm affiliate now so I'd make money if I did.

I havent spent that $50 amazon card bc I just dont feel the need for anything.

I'm not even reading the news. I have no idea whats happening. Usually I have to know. 

I swear it's not depression. I'm happy about the progress I'm making w/my workouts. Like my gym tan laundry game is really strong rn. And I clean the house and take care of the cats. I'm doing a lot. When I'm depressed I don't do anything but lay in bed. 

I'm apathetic in a way I guess. Idk it's such a strange mood I've been stuck in. 

Nothing  is wrong with you. It happens to everyone. Its called growing older and having less patience for other people's bullshit 

[Poof]

6 hours ago, tsar4 said:

How many billions of people ask themselves that every day?

 

I'm extremely sober rn. I never went and got any weed when I ran out.

[lupin_bebop]

17 hours ago, Poof said:

Why do i feel like this?

..................Lack of Reese's Pieces?

[Distortedreasoning]

7 hours ago, Poof said:

I feel so antisocial. I've always been outgoing. Idk what's happening. I can be withdrawn on bad days but even good days rn I just don't feel like doing anything but working out, eating, and watching tv. Like I'm at my parents' and normally I want to get out of here and make every effort to do so. I'll talk to fans constantly and schedule as many shows as I can do. Right now tho. I'm not making any effort. I'm even ignoring my fav fans who I don't mind talking to bc they usually make me feel good and they pay out.

And I have plenty of money to buy a new xbox to stream on twitch again but I keep just not buying it. I'm affiliate now so I'd make money if I did.

I havent spent that $50 amazon card bc I just dont feel the need for anything.

I'm not even reading the news. I have no idea whats happening. Usually I have to know. 

I swear it's not depression. I'm happy about the progress I'm making w/my workouts. Like my gym tan laundry game is really strong rn. And I clean the house and take care of the cats. I'm doing a lot. When I'm depressed I don't do anything but lay in bed. 

I'm apathetic in a way I guess. Idk it's such a strange mood I've been stuck in. 

maybe you need something new and inspiring?

or could be that crisis we talked about a while back?

[Lasty]

8 hours ago, Poof said:

Thats probably it. I'm quite sober.

Without psychedelics life is a gray threadbare existence.

That’s not true. If psychedelics didn’t enrich and enhance your day to day experience, you’re doing something wrong.

[Sir Teddybar Gut Fullung]

8 hours ago, 🍬Candy🍬 said:

Nothing  is wrong with you. It happens to everyone. Its called growing older and having less patience for other people's bullshit 

This. Some people's characteristics in their personality change over time. No matter how much we fight it, we eventually become older and wiser, and yet, maybe even bitter that life may not have gone the way we wanted it to. So we tend to not suffer fools lightly.

[jackiemarie90]

9 hours ago, Poof said:

I feel so antisocial. I've always been outgoing. Idk what's happening. I can be withdrawn on bad days but even good days rn I just don't feel like doing anything but working out, eating, and watching tv. Like I'm at my parents' and normally I want to get out of here and make every effort to do so. I'll talk to fans constantly and schedule as many shows as I can do. Right now tho. I'm not making any effort. I'm even ignoring my fav fans who I don't mind talking to bc they usually make me feel good and they pay out.

And I have plenty of money to buy a new xbox to stream on twitch again but I keep just not buying it. I'm affiliate now so I'd make money if I did.

I havent spent that $50 amazon card bc I just dont feel the need for anything.

I'm not even reading the news. I have no idea whats happening. Usually I have to know. 

I swear it's not depression. I'm happy about the progress I'm making w/my workouts. Like my gym tan laundry game is really strong rn. And I clean the house and take care of the cats. I'm doing a lot. When I'm depressed I don't do anything but lay in bed. 

I'm apathetic in a way I guess. Idk it's such a strange mood I've been stuck in. 

You kinda sound like me, and I am starting to act a lil like you do. 

I've been kinda anti social lately too. I ditched a friend friday night with her playing music at a bar cause I wasn't really feeling the vibe and I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone there cause I wasn't into the same type of music as them. And then I stopped by a house party to raid alcohol >__> So basically left friend for a different party.

Then today I only hung out at a small con for like 3 hours, and then ditched because I was too scared to talk to anyone. People were coming up to me too saying they recognize me from other local cons but I just felt hella awkward and left. 

I do remember you talking about not eating and lately that's been happening to me too. Like I don't like the taste food, even in some cases with weed, but again I really don't get that hard core stoned these days. Kinda drifting. Although I do think smoking a lot of cigarettes has been supressing my appetite and that's had an impact on how I feel about eating. Still, I'm forcing large bites of food down to have food in my system. Idk, I'm also under alot of stress and anxiety about school, deadlines and my family drama.  Although for me I think it might be depression, everyone is different. 

[Gina Szanboti]

You're in Ohio now, right?  Well, there ya go.

[Poof]

12 hours ago, 🍬Candy🍬 said:

Nothing  is wrong with you. It happens to everyone. Its called growing older and having less patience for other people's bullshit 

It's possible... But i unno...

[Poof]

4 hours ago, Distortedreasoning said:

maybe you need something new and inspiring?

or could be that crisis we talked about a while back?

Oh yea when I ate too much pizza

I think youre probably onto something. I do need something new/exciting. Doing twitch was fun and I plan to continue but it's still just videogames. Not exactly new to me.

The problem may be that its not time for anything new right now. Its time to work out hardcore, save money, be disciplined. And as previously mentioned, im doing a good job at it. It's just kinda mind numbing.

I'll be ok. I'm on track w/it for sure. For once in my life I'm like doing everything I should be doing

[Poof]

3 hours ago, Lasty said:

That’s not true. If psychedelics didn’t enrich and enhance your day to day experience, you’re doing something wrong.

They do. I just havent had any in awhile

[Poof]

3 hours ago, Sir Teddybar Gut Fullung said:

This. Some people's characteristics in their personality change over time. No matter how much we fight it, we eventually become older and wiser, and yet, maybe even bitter that life may not have gone the way we wanted it to. So we tend to not suffer fools lightly.

I think it's easy to to mistake my abrasiveness for bitterness but theyre not the same thing. I've always had the former. I think u have to accept the end to really be bitter. I still have so much to do and pursue

[Poof]

3 hours ago, jackiemarie90 said:

You kinda sound like me, and I am starting to act a lil like you do. 

I've been kinda anti social lately too. I ditched a friend friday night with her playing music at a bar cause I wasn't really feeling the vibe and I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone there cause I wasn't into the same type of music as them. And then I stopped by a house party to raid alcohol >__> So basically left friend for a different party.

Then today I only hung out at a small con for like 3 hours, and then ditched because I was too scared to talk to anyone. People were coming up to me too saying they recognize me from other local cons but I just felt hella awkward and left. 

I do remember you talking about not eating and lately that's been happening to me too. Like I don't like the taste food, even in some cases with weed, but again I really don't get that hard core stoned these days. Kinda drifting. Although I do think smoking a lot of cigarettes has been supressing my appetite and that's had an impact on how I feel about eating. Still, I'm forcing large bites of food down to have food in my system. Idk, I'm also under alot of stress and anxiety about school, deadlines and my family drama.  Although for me I think it might be depression, everyone is different. 

Cutting back on weed and adding cigarettes will def affect the appetite for sure. Even w/o quitting weed entirely.

It doesn't sound like you want to avoid ppl. Since you left one party but then went to another even if just to raid alcohol. And then u went to a con too. It seems maybe youre just nervous? We gotta get you to relax. I think itll improve your studies too. Like it seems like you wanna be social rn and maybe its affecting your grades which then makes u stressed and anxious? Which was kinda why before I made the suggestion to focus on getting the grades up. I could be completely off base

[Poof]

2 hours ago, Gina Szanboti said:

You're in Ohio now, right?  Well, there ya go.

Yea I need to escape the midwest all together

[Sir Teddybar Gut Fullung]

23 minutes ago, Poof said:

I think it's easy to to mistake my abrasiveness for bitterness but theyre not the same thing. I've always had the former. I think u have to accept the end to really be bitter. I still have so much to do and pursue

Of course. But that day will come when you have regrets and bitterness. Until then, maybe you're not in a good environment for you.

[Poof]

19 minutes ago, Sir Teddybar Gut Fullung said:

Of course. But that day will come when you have regrets and bitterness. Until then, maybe you're not in a good environment for you.

There's no point in being bitter. Being bitter means you're dissatisfied but you're not going to do anything to change it. Not everything is possible but if you can't get the thing you want, you can search for satisfaction elsewhere. I have plenty I could be bitter about believe me. I can be sad jealous or envious, but those are more temporary than bitterness.

[Lasty]

4 hours ago, Poof said:

They do. I just havent had any in awhile

Hmm... not quite what I meant. You don’t have a widened perspective even without them? They’re not a psychological crutch or a party favor.

[Distortedreasoning]

On 11/4/2019 at 3:03 AM, Poof said:

Oh yea when I ate too much pizza

I think youre probably onto something. I do need something new/exciting. Doing twitch was fun and I plan to continue but it's still just videogames. Not exactly new to me.

The problem may be that its not time for anything new right now. Its time to work out hardcore, save money, be disciplined. And as previously mentioned, im doing a good job at it. It's just kinda mind numbing.

I'll be ok. I'm on track w/it for sure. For once in my life I'm like doing everything I should be doing

self improvement is always a worthy way of life.

i dont think you can ever go wrong with that approach. 

but i feel that there is a hole missing. something that is not offered by this world. this society. 

[jackiemarie90]

On 11/4/2019 at 3:29 AM, Poof said:

Cutting back on weed and adding cigarettes will def affect the appetite for sure. Even w/o quitting weed entirely.

It doesn't sound like you want to avoid ppl. Since you left one party but then went to another even if just to raid alcohol. And then u went to a con too. It seems maybe youre just nervous? We gotta get you to relax. I think itll improve your studies too. Like it seems like you wanna be social rn and maybe its affecting your grades which then makes u stressed and anxious? Which was kinda why before I made the suggestion to focus on getting the grades up. I could be completely off base

I am trying to focus on grades right now. Especially since there is another midterm next week. >__> Plus I've been talking to my instructors more and most have been helpful. lol