Jump to content
UnevenEdge
This Folder has been Archived!

I met God O_O

Mix

By Mix
in Free-For-All

 Share

Recommended Posts

GunStarHero Superstar

GunStarHero

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Mix said:

go on

This was right after I moved to Vegas and still took the bus. 

One night I was waiting on the bus at a large intersection  between two wide roads. Like 8 lanes wide in all four directions. 

I was listening to music and beyond the guy sitting a seat down from me, there was no one else around and it was fairly late into the night. 

Suddenly, I start hearing a bunch of the cars at the intersection honking their horns. I took my headphones off and looked over to see what was up. 

Here comes this guy, hands raised in the air like he just won the WWE Heavyweight belt. And he's walking DIAGONALLY through the intersection. Slowly. Like the horns are his adoring fans. 

Then I notice, oh fuck, he's making a beeline for the bus stop. 

Sure enough here he comes. He struts up and barks at the guy beside me to move. Dude just gets up and stands a short ways away. 

Then this guy turns to me and holds out his blunt to me and says, "YO TURN!" I told him I didn't smoke. He was undeterred and insisted. "SMOKE UP! I'M THE KING! IT'S MY DECREE!" I declined. 

Dude threw his head back and let out one of those belly laughs. "AH HAH HAH HA! MORE FOR ME! MORE FOR DA KING!" 

Then he got up and wandered off into the desert. 

Edited by GunStarHero
  • Haha 1
André Toulon Monster Mutant

André Toulon

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

This was right after I moved to Vegas and still took the bus. 

One night I was waiting on the bus at a large intersection  between two wide roads. Like 8 lanes wide in all four directions. 

I was listening to music and beyond the guy sitting a seat down from me, there was no one else around and it was fairly late into the night. 

Suddenly, I start hearing a bunch of the cars at the intersection honking their horns. I took my headphones off and looked over to see what was up. 

Here comes this guy, hands raised in the air like he just won the WWE Heavyweight belt. And he's walking DIAGONALLY through the intersection. Slowly. Like the horns are his adoring fans. 

Then I notice, oh fuck, he's making a beeline for the bus stop. 

Sure enough here he comes. He struts up and barks at the guy beside me to move. Dude just gets up and stands a short ways away. 

Then this guy turns to me and holds out his blunt to me and says, "YO TURN!" I told him I didn't smoke. He was undeterred and insisted. "SMOKE UP! I'M THE KING! IT'S MY DECREE!" I declined. 

Dude threw his head back and let out one of those belly laughs. "AH HAH HAH HA! MORE FOR ME! MORE FOR DA KING!" 

Then he got up and wandered off into the desert. 

wtf lol

KreiaDidNothingWrong Elder

KreiaDidNothingWrong

Posted
Posted (edited)

 

I saw Jesus at a grocery store in Jerusalem yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him to turn my water into wine or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen loaves of bread in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the loaves and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any Satanic infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each loaf and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly

Edited by KreiaDidNothingWrong
Mix Monster Mutant

Mix

Posted
  • Author
Posted
15 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

This was right after I moved to Vegas and still took the bus. 

One night I was waiting on the bus at a large intersection  between two wide roads. Like 8 lanes wide in all four directions. 

I was listening to music and beyond the guy sitting a seat down from me, there was no one else around and it was fairly late into the night. 

Suddenly, I start hearing a bunch of the cars at the intersection honking their horns. I took my headphones off and looked over to see what was up. 

Here comes this guy, hands raised in the air like he just won the WWE Heavyweight belt. And he's walking DIAGONALLY through the intersection. Slowly. Like the horns are his adoring fans. 

Then I notice, oh fuck, he's making a beeline for the bus stop. 

Sure enough here he comes. He struts up and barks at the guy beside me to move. Dude just gets up and stands a short ways away. 

Then this guy turns to me and holds out his blunt to me and says, "YO TURN!" I told him I didn't smoke. He was undeterred and insisted. "SMOKE UP! I'M THE KING! IT'S MY DECREE!" I declined. 

Dude threw his head back and let out one of those belly laughs. "AH HAH HAH HA! MORE FOR ME! MORE FOR DA KING!" 

Then he got up and wandered off into the desert. 

It's not polite to turn down the King when he offers you what was clearly some next level pcp

NaBarney Monster Mutant

NaBarney

Posted
Posted
18 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

This was right after I moved to Vegas and still took the bus. 

One night I was waiting on the bus at a large intersection  between two wide roads. Like 8 lanes wide in all four directions. 

I was listening to music and beyond the guy sitting a seat down from me, there was no one else around and it was fairly late into the night. 

Suddenly, I start hearing a bunch of the cars at the intersection honking their horns. I took my headphones off and looked over to see what was up. 

Here comes this guy, hands raised in the air like he just won the WWE Heavyweight belt. And he's walking DIAGONALLY through the intersection. Slowly. Like the horns are his adoring fans. 

Then I notice, oh fuck, he's making a beeline for the bus stop. 

Sure enough here he comes. He struts up and barks at the guy beside me to move. Dude just gets up and stands a short ways away. 

Then this guy turns to me and holds out his blunt to me and says, "YO TURN!" I told him I didn't smoke. He was undeterred and insisted. "SMOKE UP! I'M THE KING! IT'S MY DECREE!" I declined. 

Dude threw his head back and let out one of those belly laughs. "AH HAH HAH HA! MORE FOR ME! MORE FOR DA KING!" 

Then he got up and wandered off into the desert. 

WESTPARK THE KING OF ASMB

molarbear Hero

molarbear

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Mix said:

Asian

More important question

Does he fist bump or hand shake?

I know handshakes are more formal but I really prefer people that fist bump because there are some people out there with nasty hands

Mix Monster Mutant

Mix

Posted
  • Author
Posted
38 minutes ago, molarbear said:

More important question

Does he fist bump or hand shake?

I know handshakes are more formal but I really prefer people that fist bump because there are some people out there with nasty hands

C'mon, God gives hugs

  • Like 1
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...