Zenigundam Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pail Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 ??? Just replace every mention of Jesus with Hitler. Comedy gold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 clearly -1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stilgar Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 It's already a drama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 ??? history channel already did it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggnificent Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 People make drama versions of the bible all the time. You should interpret all the books the canon left OUT the bible so people can see things like how jesus was a muderous evil little shit when he was little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted August 24, 2017 Author Share Posted August 24, 2017 (Scene when God exposes Cain for murdering Abel) God: "Why did you DO it?!?!! WHY?!??! I loved you like a son!!! Let... LET GO OF ME!!!" (guards holding God back, preventing him from attacking Cain) Cain: (tearfully) "It's your fault!! You always treated him like he was your favorite!! I hate you!!" (storms out of the room) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarPanda Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 Bible Black Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 (Scene when God exposes Cain for murdering Abel) God: "Why did you DO it?!?!! WHY?!??! I loved you like a son!!! Let... LET GO OF ME!!!" (guards holding God back, preventing him from attacking Cain) Cain: (tearfully) "It's your fault!! You always treated him like he was your favorite!! I hate you!!" I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU DAD. i learned it from watching you. (storms out of the room) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 Hmmm that does seem like a much stronger line. I feel like this could be a major hit with stay at home moms if placed in the late morning/early afternoon soap opera window. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggnificent Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 (Scene when God exposes Cain for murdering Abel) God: "Why did you DO it?!?!! WHY?!??! I loved you like a son!!! Let... LET GO OF ME!!!" (guards holding God back, preventing him from attacking Cain) Cain: (tearfully) "It's your fault!! You always treated him like he was your favorite!! I hate you!!" (storms out of the room) Bible for millenials lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 (Scene when God exposes Cain for murdering Abel) God: "Why did you DO it?!?!! WHY?!??! I loved you like a son!!! Let... LET GO OF ME!!!" (guards holding God back, preventing him from attacking Cain) Cain: (tearfully) "It's your fault!! You always treated him like he was your favorite!! I hate you!!" (storms out of the room) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naraku4656 Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Genesis 1:1 and god said "WHO THE FUCK LEFT THE LEGOS OUT IN THE FAMILY ROOM, I SWEAR TO ME THAT I'M GOING TO GROUND YOU ALL" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggnificent Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Genesis 1:1 and god said "WHO THE FUCK LEFT THE LEGOS OUT IN THE FAMILY ROOM, I SWEAR TO ME THAT I'M GOING TO GROUND YOU ALL" Im getting out this thread now before the locusts come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bnmjy Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Make the part when Lot fucks his daughters super kinky! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naraku4656 Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Im getting out this thread now before the locusts come. good thing i have no religion. can't touch this danananana Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lupin_bebop Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Nope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 moses at the red sea: 'you guys wanna see some cool shit?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 Make the part when Lot fucks his daughters super kinky! I have to work "give daddy some sugar" into the script. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naraku4656 Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 Genesis 3:29 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bnmjy Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 I have to work "give daddy some sugar" into the script. His daughters fucked him by making him drunk and passed out, so . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 god and satan having a discussion god : ok, i said wasn't gonna' play your game..but fine. i got one trick up my sleeve. satan: pffft. you say that EVERY TIME WE DO THIS god: yeah..but this dude is my ace in the hole. satan: *takes long drag off joint, passes to god* alright man...let's see what you got. ~~enter job~~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naraku4656 Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 The Prince of Egypt is just as good as reading the bible, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 This is a pretty dope idea. The scene when Jesus walks on water: "Ayyy!! (keeps strutting) Ayyy!! (more strutting) Ayyy!! Dab me up, Johnny B!" (Jesus dabs John the Baptist) And I have a really dramatic scene for The Last Supper Jesus: "Somebody here... will betray me... if he hasn't already. " (Apostles look around uncomfortably, Judas begins to shake nervously) Jesus: "You son of a..." (lunges at Judas, knocking all manners of food from the table in the process) (Table gets flipped, Jesus has Judas by the collar, but is being pulled back by the others) Jesus: "YOU... FUCKING... SNITCH!!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naraku4656 Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 instead of the King James Bible, let's start the Zenigundam Bible and Abraham said to an OKC hottie "DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME :it:" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 instead of the King James Bible, let's start the Zenigundam Bible and Abraham said to an OKC hottie "DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME :it:" Oh that would be classic. He'll be in the public library typing one character at a time like really old people who don't know how to use computers do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 i have a lot more.. but i'm pretty sure i've secured my place on the tram to hell. thank you. and good night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1938 Packard Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 ??? Read this entire thread and saw no mention of Jesus Christ, Superstar. Non Christians loved it, but Bible Belters called it Satanism at its worst. The producers didn't do anything but put modern costumes on the characters and have them sing the lines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 Hell is probably awful at first, but I bet you get used to it after a while, just like how prisoners who are being tortured stop feeling pain after a long time. And since it's Hells and nobody's getting out anyway, you can just do illicit things that you couldn't do legally on Earth like hire a prostitute and kill that one teacher of yours who also went to Hell because he was an asshole. Hopefully Hell isn't an endless torture chamber of your greatest fears realized every waking moment, which I feel like it might be because God is like a prison guard who throws people into solitary confinement when it comes to punishment, which is why he didn't tell anybody about Noah's Ark and the flood he was planning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted August 25, 2017 Author Share Posted August 25, 2017 Hmmm that would be a cool scene for Noah's Ark actually. Noah: "So aren't you gonna tell everybody else about the whole Great Flood thing?" God: "Nah. They bullied me when I was in middle school, so this is Revenge of the Nerds V: Drown You Dumb Jocks and Bitches who denied me my middle school glory!!" Noah: "Oh... I see... Well It's 2304 BC." God: ... right. This will be the prequel to Revenge of the Nerds. If George Lucas can make shitty Star Wars prequels, then I can make my own prequels for I am GOD! Don't test my powers, Noah! I'll make this flood into a hurricane and put a bunch of holes in your boat!! DON'T F WITH ME!!!" (God throws everything off of his desk and rages while Noah slowly backs out of the room) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinko Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 ??? What if I rewrote the Anchorman script as a comedy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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