Seight

*incredibly Dr. Weird voice* MY MIND!

Wait, like Frankenstein or like King Crimson?

"I'm going to show her my hammer." *5 second pause* "The hammer is my penis."

[FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE LOCAL ZOO]

That thing looks high as fuck.

I've been literally waiting for days since this first hit Twitter for it to show up on Youtube so I could post it here

I hate weather reports that say "Temperature: 93F - Feels Like: 115F" Like, I gotta throw all our trash out at the end of the day, feels like a damn sauna or something.

Perhaps.

If I'm in the back of the mail room sometimes I run to get the door when there's nobody else close by. In terms of an actual distance, I was getting carry-out from a restaurant once and the skies opened up so I had to run back to the building I work in.

Lol, I wish☺️ ...😐

The Big Bang Theory

Cleopatra.

A group of friends in high school did that, they called it "sack-tap." They never did it to me because they said I was so quiet I would probably be able to destroy everyone at it 😃

Okay, so first off, incredible avi.

I like the shift from "stoic" to "I'm sorry, what?"

😕 I have questions that I'm not necessarily sure I want answered

-Lil Nas X, December 2, 2018

what the heck guys none of that is chicken.

*extremely Mad Hatter voice* CHANGE PLACES!

I'm going to say...yes? because they technically don't exist. (For the purposes of this experiment Floridians on bath salts aren't zombies.)