scoobdog

I remember a guy that used to think he had the best stuff. One day he crossed the Bay Bridge with an army of plumbers, Raider fans, and lesbians with Down's Syndrome babies... and he passed into legend.

No, it doesn't. The fat has nothing to do with searing the meat properly, as in not coating it with that foul looking shit you call a rub.

Which is why I like to make my cats and dogs assholes like me.

There is no fucking way that even Guy Fieri could taste that and not gag. It doesn't even look like meat, just like spice covered fat.

Yeah, well a hobo could prepare a dumpster feast better than this shithead.

Okay, seriously, what kind of shitty cook puts a fucking barbecue rub on stroganoff? Did you accidentally put the burning end of the cigarette down your throat? That has to be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.

Me neither.

Did you invite him it in for a beer then? That's positively humane.

Yeah, but how many times did you have to press the compactor button to make him it tender?

I've never been cheated on, so I couldn't say. Guys are more likely to contribute to having their partner cheat on them on account of the balance of power in the relationship, but even then it's usually impossible to regain the level of trust needed for a relationship to thrive after the trust is broken.

If by "folded" you mean "got folded in half" then yeah.

...is Chris Isaak time...

I get that one star is for existing, but what is the other star for?

Must have busted the steering in that fatal wreck.

It's not a critique as much as an observation. Kobe is a man with a plan.

Fap it off, man.

Wut?

But only if he gets it in both ends.

I read the OP slurred.

If anyone deserves it, it's Manu. Unfortunately, they won't let him go out with a glorified intersquad scrimmage where he can score 62 points and collapse in exhaustion at center court.

You mean Jeannie Buss, our owner? I thought the whole production was over-the-top. Everything about Kobe, even his retirement ceremony, feels calculated. They even had a five minute animated movie before the ceremony started that was just insane. Plus, the entire game had four or five of those Kobe x Lebron Nike puppet ads where Kobe goes on and on bragging to a mostly bemused Lebron.

Drink lots of water, get lots of sleep, you'll be good to go. Meanwhile, what is it with drivers at the Laker games? Two games in a row, i got some slut in an SUV trying to road rager me out of the fucking parking structure.

I didn't know you mom bleached her hair. I definitely wouldn't call her hot after what you did to her.

No doubt he's lying about having the job in the first place, so there's that.

Because they wear face paint and listen to shit music?