Welcome all to Molarbear's "Golden Banana Sticker Day" celebration!
What does this day include?
It's fairly simple, every citizen of the world is sent a package of golden stickers they are allowed to give out at the local petting zoos established in every city....everywhere (don't ask how on the logistics, you don't question Santa or the Easter Bunny just admire the hedgehog and remember, this is a day I made.. so there's a giant field full of pups that are just prancing around waiting to play)
Later on when the younger crowds have had their fill the adult activities begin...
The yearly "Try to out party Mr. Ed in his prime" challenge. Yes, this horse many of us grew up watching at our grandparents house did not die from horsey old age like you were lead to believe. This Horse had a 15 hooker, 3 8-ball, hot tub full of grey horse (grey goose use to have a different animal!) brunch habit that he chased away in his later years with horrid Ivermectin habit, and now you too can try to live like Mr. Ed for a night (horse banana not included)
Finally once everyone is good and out of their damn minds we all join a group of baby seals to Hail Zorp the Surveyor! He's a 28 foot tall lizard dude who is suppose to bring about the world's end, but I think they have some kind of deal worked out with him where he just avenges all the seals that those european peeps still club, by setting them ablaze (seal snoot boops are heavily encouraged, even when their eyes start glowing red mid seance)
After that everyone magically has banana pudding show up in their fridge...because I'm high and it sounds fucking delicious
-end submission