molarbear

If I get attacked by a Chupacabra in my sleep tonight Imma be pissed......

Does this mean youre cooking chicken or that you somehow created an egg and are now sitting on it hoping it's a chicken and not a chupacabra?

nb4 we find out you've secretly been Justin Verlander all these years

During the outbreak of World War II, the London Zoo killed all their venomous animals in case the zoo was bombed and the animals escaped

When I was in middle school I got a note from a girl with a "yes, no, or maybe" box to check I checked maybe to be funny and she ran to the bathroom crying........ I was later informed the note wasn't even for me so to this day I'm still not sure why she ran off crying

maybe

I read this as "dunk" at first and the picture hadn't loaded.... then it loaded and I was even more confused for a second

.....this bottle has been in the freezer for almost 3 months

No the eggs were bad and I forgot I had some vodka left

somehow I walked out of the kitchen with vodka instead...

I call red panda everyone saw it here first

Done have your people call my people..

I have one so I can buy booze because no one believes my real ID

you can have it I will straight up trade you accounts

......At least you're not purple *fixed it

you can actually buy those in stores? I always thought they were issued out by the Government to people over 70

a Penguin I'd be super cute and then get eaten by a leopard seal

^ seconded

I'm working on it

you could throw a tarp over the car port to keep rain out

My Momma says I'm handsome Unfortunately most ladies don't agree with her

I'd accept this but I only go to /aww and /dogs and such folders where I can see animals just being animals

favorite asmber Mix[/member] I got you bu

#traitortohumanity

one of the strip clubs in town has a breakfast buffet