Vamped

How would you have ended it?

Nah ... dreams like that for me would be watching myself cringing at my lifetime of awkwardness and then drowing in my anxiety I avoid confrontation and yelling like the plague ... which ... I haven't decided if thats better or worse than being passive aggressive

Why isnt switching an option?

Not courage XD

Hey you leave Jackie alone, your thread was way worse By like Alot.

Gonna take more than 800 bucks a week to find out

Did you say Adventure?!

800 bucks is too low for premium sugar anyway. I was about to say 70 year olds probably wouldn't be able to do too much .... but from my time in nursing homes and assisted living communities ... they're pervy as shit

But how much sugar does he want for the 800?

I feel like my chin is breaking out in acne just from the thought

-The conflicting emotions you have when you finish a really good show/game/book and you have to contemplate what you're going to do with the rest of your life now thats its over -When the tiny little savage you're trying to raise uses all the manners you've been trying to teach him for 4 years unprompted so you start to think .... maybe Im not failing completely at this

My personal favorite: Lemme get that dick

-Getting your scalp massaged when the hair stylist washes your hair -Foot massages when you get a pedicure (trying really hard not to cream the massage chair during said pedicure massage)

My mom just bought those goddamn things for the miniature. I would've called this picture a lie yesterday

The problem was attempting to try Chuck Norris at all

-Pulling off your push up bra and squeezing your boobs after you release them -Taking a shower and putting on new pajamas at 10:00am because you dont have any obligations -Having a really good meal at a fine dining restuarant with excellent service and tipping the waiter so much they're genuinely happy about it after you leave

It was like that part in Jurassic Park where the T-rex is attacking but they're like stay still and it wont see you

I had a dream I was looking out of my bedroom window at my parents house and this huge white bull was outside fucking shit up. Charging cars, crushing mailboxes it was like as big as a bus