Vamped

I didn't think the actual testing center would call and tell you that you failed. Thats one of my irrational paranoid fears .... I'll get offered the perfect job position and then I'll fail a drug test. I don't even do drugs but I get nervous XD

So ... I was looking for a meme to convey just how fancy I expect the lasagna to be but ... I found this instead .... and I don't know what else to do with it

Whip together a fancy lasagna

I haven't seen that in ages. I used to watch Let's Make a Deal with some of my hospice patients. and ... paternity court You do NOT want to be stuck in memory unit with a bunch of old ladies when paternity court comes on. It goes left real quick.

well how much did it actually cost?

Serious question How do you know they will know if you died?

Anybody else remember that Hercules PC game? ... shit was so hard for no reason

So .... the major warehouses in the area are shutting down. These are companies we pick up and deliver literally multiple trailers of freight to daily. Some of them are saying they're closing for a few days to do a thorough cleaning, some of them are closed indefinitely.

Maybe they couldn't look you in your eye while they crushed your spirit? Are they going to pay you at all?

Because..... .............. ... Its a whore? Erm .... It has a really high sex drive and its 2020 and it can fuck whoever it wants.

Exactly the response I was hoping for

I can only assume .... He's probably a villain.

Well yeah. Thats more likely. One of the drivers at work tried to hug me and I was like woah ... 3 to 6 feet at all times .... then he called me an asshole and told me to get my ass outta there So ... maybe I offended him ... or maybe I am an asshole

You wont catch it from the packages Also more than one. Also .... long shot that infected person touched your specific package

I dont like religion in my sex but kinky XD

Who can confirm you were reading your bible at the time of the murder?! Impossible! The elderly are quarantined!

They're giving us 100 for every person we refer to be a package handler. These are desperate times indeed XD

Just got a weird automated text from my job ... which Ive never known them to do ... saying there's a citywide shit down but quit playing and come to work lolz ... then it claims I opted into the messages >.> But when?

Cant hear you over the sound of your guts churning.

Amazon is everybody's friend right now. That's why they're hiring out their ass right now XD

It does not

Take a shower and get some rest my dude. You got a full schedule of being essential tomorrow