SwimModSponges

You know whats annoying? You not reviewing my fanfictions.

I do. I try to get folks irl to read it to. Mostly people i work with, because i look forward to the day that my superiors tell me im making people uncomfortable with my dinosaur porn.

Why did the oil tycoon start wearing glasses after he read about the new environmental sanctions against offshore drilling? Because he could no longer sea-well.

Maybe the other lady gave great head whille on the boat?

Eh. Get ready for a year full of it.

Should have told her it needed more dinosaur porn.

Tortilla chips

Im slow on the uptake sometimes.

Since i know most of you wont read it i may as well post the joke here: The setup is like Rick and Morty and the citadel of Ricks (which Rick is quick to point out) in which a bunch of sponges and x-men all portal into the same universe. @Master-Debater131 requested a scene with a gender-swapped version of my character, so theres a lesbian sponges there from a universe where the majority of life on earth is gay, even the plants and animals, but not the fungi. The x-men she brought along were Gambit and Cable, who are in an intimate relationship. Well the Cyclops from my original universe is there and he's pretty shocked to learn that a version of his son from the future turns out to be gay. To which the Cable from the homosexual universe replies "fuck you, you're not my real dad."

Life is work. But for real, ive had mondays off for the longest time here. Some of it was pto of course, but one of them was because i was training for three days at a different location. Then due to the availabiluty of my coworkers it just made sense to have me off mondays. It kind of sucks, opening monday morning is my favorite shift becuase i get to spend like half my day preparing for and going to meetings.

My hands are super dry.

I dont. Ocassionally ill pour some warm water in saw dust, thats always a treat.

Update- now im eating fruity pebbles with marshmallows.

@Sandstone requested gay cable amd gambit in my fanfiction. Just an update on that: yep theyre in there.

Face it man, youre getting sausage on your pizza.

Driver is never a hot girl.

Im glad other bodily functions dont work that way.

Offer to tip with sexual favors, 9 times out of 10 theyll just leave because theyre uncomfortable, and 1 time out of 10 theyll throw in a free garlic bread and a liter of cola to get the taste out of your mouth

Ok, come up with a ballad or some poetry in your head and recite it for them. No pen, no paper, no cost; and it shows people youre really thinking about them.

Ok, how about food? People love food. Do you have any leftovers you can pretty up?

Ueah but thats like, $15 max.

Just show them you love them in other ways. Trace your hand on a buch of colored construction paper, cut them out, and glue them to popsicle sticks and say theyre flowers.

Im a bad man who does bad things.

I also have a date for saturday. Its 1/6/18.