Full agreement.
Brine = add flavor to the meat
wash = put some water on the meat for no goddamn reason AND YOU BETTER NOT USE SOAP OR SO HELP ME GOD I'MMA BE A MAD SUMBITCH.
Now all those smug scientists up at the north pole can shut up with all that "We work in the harshest and coldest conditions on the planet."
Nut up, bitches. We be chillin.
Hooray climate change slowing the jet stream!
In a few years we won't have so much a winter as a "vortex season" running from jan-april/may during which it will be common for people to freeze to death in their homes.