EmpressAngel

I assume the Blue Exorcist rerun was either dirt cheap, or maybe even outright free if they also picked up the sequel. Whine about it if you want, but that's a smart budget move if they did essentially get two shows for the price of one and locked in a slot for most of the year. I've heard good things about Mashle and from what I know this is basically the plot:

Is every other show ending next week? Is November just gonna be six episodes of One Piece at a time? Uzumaki- Oh shit what now. Oh no, take that poster down! Bro there doesn't have to be a separate curse involved, mosquitos are a curse all on their own. I got a real bad feeling about all these suspiciously pregnant women. And now your dad's making haunted pottery. Fucking mosquitos, again! Great job poisoning the pregnant girl with toxic spray, buddy. OH I DON'T LIKE THAT. Just an entire squad of crazy pregnant vampire bitches running around the hospital, great. Where the fuck did they get those drills anyway? Thank god for that toxic spray. Fucking centipedes! This episode is gonna kickstart my period purely out of self defense. Meanwhile, things are not going well for your batshit crazy mom. For the love of god do not tell her about the ear spiral. This poor lady is having the worst time. OW FUCK. Correction, Shuichi is having the worst day. You know every single one of those babies is fucking cursed. Those mushrooms are haunted. OH THAT'S NOT RIGHT. I'd like to get off this ride now please. Hey boy who just lost his entire family, come party at our house. Oops, all spirals! Shit's haunted as all fuck. You could just leave town and not come back, you know. Man those spirals really did a number on that dumbass hair girl. I'm no meteorologist but I'm pretty sure it's not good when a storm starts sinisterly whispering your name. My leg! Y'all really should have just fucked off out of town when you had the chance. Everything else in this town may be cursed and evil but Shuichi is knocking the World's Best Boyfriend challenge out of the park. Don't worry about it, it's just or neighbor Quasimodo. There is no way this is gonna go okay. Well at least the creepy stalker pervert is just normal fucked up and not extra fucked up. RIP rat. Y'know I completely forgot about this stupid weirdo from last week. Demon Slayer- I'm rooting for Boobs Mcgee here and no one else. Oh right, I almost forgot the show's need to shoehorn in ineffective attempts at comedy between every action moment it has. I do think the whip sword is genuinely neat. It's a trap! Tanjiro you could have mentioned that at literally any moment before this. Honestly, great job at tanking that hit. It's fine, her boobs took the brunt of the attack. Literally fuck off, random dude. Aww, she's adorable. Now what horrible tragedy befalls her in this flashback. So you gonna explain how her hair suddenly turned pink when it was naturally black in the last scene? Girl there are so many people who would kill to have you suplex them through a table. Aww, the weird snake boy likes her. BEAT HIS ASS. Eat shit, drum boy. I'm here for the ribbon dancing. Tanjiro's not even using his super nose, you can just smell this guy shitting himself in terror from half a mile away. Use the teeth, they're nature's scissors! Wait what, how long as that been a thing? Tanjiro really does suck at his job. Shut up you ugly little bastard I don't care. One Piece- I enjoy that all of Doflamingo's crew is just various shades of weird and dumb as hell. Horse is the real MVP here. I love my bitch wife. Come on let the grandpas fight. There is no stronger force that unites people than just really fucking hating the same dude. Not this time, gay boy! It's a rock, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles! Good news we found Samurai Pennywise. That lettuce don't look right, bro. That's a big paint brush. Oh, he's got some kinda fruit. Derpbirb is suffering. I absolutely love this stupid bird. I don't trust those ladders. Constantly impressed with the kicking power of this little twink. Cabbage you know damn well Luffy's not paying attention to this. Doflamingo's just here to have a good time and I respect that. I love them they're so fucking stupid. Hey guys I think something's coming. The hell are those things? Ah hell why do I feel like that little toy brat's awake.

This cult of crazy pregnant mosquito vampires is gonna kickstart my period entirely out of self defense.

If I had a nickel for every anime I've watched where people inexplicably turn into snails against their will, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't much but it's weird that it's happened twice. Uzumaki- I got a real bad feeling about this slow kid here. Are those snakes fighting or fucking each other. Yeah I'd probably vote we stop cremating bodies after that shit too. Fuck off dude, you're annoying. Whatever bonkers curse is going on can go ahead and kill this guy. Somehow this is gonna be a worse outcome for the tragic star-crossed teenage lovers than Shakespeare. Meanwhile, your mom's still nuts. Damn hair curse. OH, THAT AIN'T NORMAL. Uh hey it's probably time that you stipped bullying the abhorrent freak of nature there. Start crossing your fingers that you look good bald. Girl this is not some kind of attention whore contest. Ohhhh that's real fucked up. Oh good, the asshole boy is also cursed now. Meanwhile, this obnoxious jackass. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Maybe the abhorrent freaks of nature will kill each other. Girl fuck off. What kind of weird Jojo fight is this. No stop you're gonna get tangled! Please tell me her hair gets caught in the power line and kills her. They're giant snails how the fuck do you lose them? WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK. No, you let him destroy every one of those eggs right now. Literally everybody should be trying to get the fuck out of town right now. In a weird way, this isn't the worst way this love story could have ended. Look on the bright side at least your new hair is cute. I feel like I've done that while I was drunk at least once. For the love of god do not go to that lighthouse for any reason. SHIT IT KEEPS HAPPENING. Look you've just gotta let your stupid idiot brother die. You stupid idot children! Aw hell nah that's fucking Sauron. Catch me jumping out that goddamn window. MOVE FASTER YOU STUPID CHILDREN. I love my siblings but make no mistake I will absolutely leave them for dead if needed. JESUS FUCK. Demon Slayer- We get it nothing can break his sword-sharpening focus can we please move on already. He's in the zone, auto zone. Can confirm, there's no stronger force than just really fucking hating a dude. Guy you're the one with the stupid creepy little baby arms. Not a fan of this bland trash talk. Still rooting for the fish monsters, those little bastards crack me up. Tonight's theme is apparently fucked up snakes. Well at least he upgraded from the baby arms. So his ultimate power is to generate fish, that is less than impressive. Oh that shit's nasty. Oh, make windchimes out of his ribcage! POV I'm caught in the produce section of the grocery store when the misters go off. You're dead, bro. Shut up shut up shuuuut uuuuup. Alright I'll admit that was a solid post-fight one liner. I constantly forget that guy exists with the fucked up face. Not now, bumbling excuse for comedy! Of course the annoying child survived. Hey, why's my obnoxious boyfriend here. Again, why does your dad look exactly like Tanjiro? Speaking of Tanjiro, I forgot he's fighting a hydra. All of you should really be dead by now. Shit is not going well, gang. Whelp, you're boned. BOOBS AHOY. I like that she fights with ribbon dancing. MY FERAL HOG SON I MISS YOU. One Piece- Fuck off, Bellamy. Take your cues from Doflamingo, if you're gonna be a festering bag of dicks at least have some good style. Dellinger's just out here having a great time and I respect that. Surprise, gored! I'm rooting for you, Angry Santa. Those are Pica's nuts. I knew morbid obesity can kill but not like that. I vibe with Unmedicated Grandpa. Date me, gun wife. Meanwhile, oh right this birdcage thing is pretty fucked up. Thanks, broom army. I hope the navy imports in some therapy after this. I trusted you, Random Mustache Hat Guy! Meanwile, Kinemon is best at stealth. Oh no my tiny little friends! Show I can't read Japanese please gimme a subtitle. FUCK 'EM UP, LIL DUDES. Let the grandpas fight it out. God I love my wife. Potato Sack Law continues to crack me up. Oh hey Kyros where'd you come from. That poor horse. Fuck you, Steven Tyler. Thanks for the assist, my dudes. Teamwork makes the dream work.

I'm counting Uzumaki as a late birthday present to myself. Uzumaki- Oh boy I can't wait to piss my pants in fear. Even if everything else turns out to suck, this show already looks damn beautiful. Don't just to conclusions maybe he's just whacked out on something really good. This girl is really cute. That is not the dad ass I wanted to see on this block. Oh yeah he's probably fine here mentally. No big deal just your run-of-the-mill cursed scar that makes men fall in love with you. Our dude's not having a good time here. Want it or not you're still gonna have to pay for that. OH HEY THAT'S NOT NORMAL. RIP to this guy who's about to get murdered. Uh hey girl you might wanna see a dermatologist about that scar. Boy this sure escalated quickly. Fucking stairs. I got a bad feeling about that large, out of place tub. Hey what the fuck. I'm no meteorologist but I'm pretty sure the sky's not supposed to do that. HEY WHAT THE FUCK. Mom broke. I'm sure the ominous twisters are nothing to worry about. Girl you really should get that scar checked out by a medical professional. I bet you could get rid of him if you showed him your creepy gross forehead. I don't know where we're going with this weird kid but I don't think it's anywhere good. Teens are the fucking worst. Ohhhh that's not a good omen. Oh that's real fucked up. I'd like to get off this ride now please. Bro you better start running. This would be the exact moment where I pussied out and skipped town forever. Demon Slayer- I completely forgot he was poisoned. I can't stop laughing at those stupid fish monsters. I don't care if he was a lumberjack, was he hot? Eh, looks too much like Tanjiro for my taste. Man, real rough show to be a mom in. This backstory seems unnecessarily tragic to the point it feels hollow. I'm pretty sure Garbage Fire Dilf is the only parent we've seen who's survived to present day. Here, have this unlikable asshole child. "You might attract boars" he says as I sit here hoping Inosuke comes barreling out of the forest. Am I supposed to know who this is? Your brother sucks and I hope he dies. The kid's like ten with zero fighting skills and yet you only managed to cut off an arm, you useless bag of shit demon. I'm not lucky enough for this little bastard to have died. Genuinely how the fuck are you still alive. I'm glad he died. Oh right, that annoying child is bleeding out. Oh right, the surprisingly attractive one is here. This may be my fault. Okay the sword sharpening bit is getting old real fast. Heart disease, the most powerful demon of all. Fuck you and your stupid vase, guy. So why did this guy have amnesia anyway? One Piece- Doflamingo just went through all that trouble to set up his own ass beating. He may be a bag of shit but by god does this man have style. MOOCY NO! Oh we gotta kill him now. Meanwhle Law sits there and continues to regret every decision he's ever made. Come on give me the tragic Law flashback already. Oh hey, those dudes. Well that was ultimately pointless. Save our cow at all costs. I hope Franky builds Kyros a cool new cyborg leg after this. Thanks, random old man! Fuck you, random old man! Honestly surprised that these two dumb bastards managed to be any help at all. Instant shortcut just add punching. Can we please get Moocy some medical attention. I love that Angry Santa is so happy now. Please save my cow. Meanwhile, shit's still on fire. Sabo's doing surprisingly good in this fight considering he's had his power for all of like, fifteen minutes. Pantsless fight, continue! What factory. God I fucking love Barto. He's gonna piss on everything. Bold move whipping your dick out while being shot at. Obligatory fuck you, Bellamy. Oh boy, tragic backstory time! Tiny Law did not fuck around.

Thanks y'all! I treated myself to a new little guy to celebrate:

For my birthday I get my favorite thing, an attractive man doing cool things while on fire. Demon Slayer- Tanjiro's kinda just really bad at his job. How the fuck many of these bastards are there!? I'm pretty sure I already made a joke about this being a hydra situation but that's a literal damn hydra. Nezuko is here to do her once-per-episode support work. With your powers combined, I am Captain Planet! Is that demon just here to fill the show's quota of Annoying Pissbaby Coward while Zenitsu's away? So are they ever gonna expain why that kid suddenly started looking like a demon or nah. No, YOU'RE stupid! Meanwhile let's see what Creepy Baby Arms is up to. This dude's been holding his breath for like 47 minutes. Wait if he has mist powers couldn't he just control the water? Why is Inner Mind Tanjiro here. Fuck off buddy this is my dilapidated shed. HEY GIMME ATTENTION. Oh hey this one's hot I have a reason to care now. What the shit kind of motivational speech is this. Honestly I'd rather just die than deal with this kid again. Okay that fish monster genuinely made me laugh with the stupid can opener claw and mustache. I don't think mouth to mouth is supposed to work like that. Who the fuck is that? Y'know with most of the characters this arc wearing the exact same stupid mask, I genuinely didn't realize the surprisingly hot guy was that one dude we already knew. One Piece- Shut up and show me Law's tragic backstory. Speaking of hot dudes hey look it's Sabo. This is going too well. Once again, GET OFF MY COW. Cabbage, an attention whore I can get behind. Guys don't fight you're all stupid and hilarious. Yo, shit's on fire. Date me Sabo. My dude you realize their boss is Luffy's dad right? Hey look, somebody actually smart enough to realize when bullets don't work. BEAT HIS ASS, BOYFRIEND. Sabo's so cool. Sabo can commit a little arson, as a treat. It's okay just blame the pirates for all your unfathomably property damage. What else them fingers do, baby. And then Fujitora killed everyone. Fun story Sabo's actually a little bit batshit crazy. I miss Ace. Oh come on it's my birtday don't twist that knife. Sabo's a good dude. I'd die for that cow. Don't you shoot my cow! Oh hey Cabbage where'd you come from. Oh hey everybody, where'd you come from. I love Moocy so much. Oh right, it's the guy who turns into a jacket. Oh this is an obvious trap and I say that having immediately forgotten the episode title. Never trust a man who chooses to become a jacket. Law, still regretting every choice he's made in his life. Well at least we got rid of these particular dumb bastards. Barto still being an eternal mood. I got a bad feeling about this. They're about to yeet Usopp across the city aren't they. Uh guys is anything supposed to be happening. Oh yeah I'm sure the Jacket Fruit user really stands a chance here. Those beetles are adorable. Leo sweetie you realize there's a size problem here. And then everyone died. I love Barto. Oh hey, it works. Well hey we're technically not dead. Robin's just showing off now. Oh right, that factory. This is the crotch shot we deserve. I genuinely love the vibes between these two. Pica's voice still cracking me up. I am here for Zoro's trash talk in this fight. It's a trap! Moocy we gotta get out of here right now. Guys you know you don't have to just stand there and wait for the reveal right. Joke's on you buddy, this is literally the fight Luffy came here for.

In this house we stan Moocy, no exceptions. Demon Slayer- Oh no he's got rabies. Why will you fuckers not just die. Try aiming for their dicks instead. Bro nobody fucking cares there's like twelve other hashiras. Oh right, we're in the middle of a fight. Nezuko gets to do things! I completely forgot about this whiny sack of shit. Nezuko sweetie fix your shirt. NO MY BABY. Meanwhile this guy gets waterboarded. Local boy too wholesome to die. To the right, take it back now y'all. No seriously what the hell is wrong with this kid's face. GUN. Cue the sad trombone noise. Of course this thing is immune to both swords and guns. I don't care about his tragic backstory, show. Is he gonna get PTSD about his tiny mom from this tiny demon? A garbage dad, you say? Sorry kid your mom's dead. Oh these are the fucking Children of the Corn here. And then everyone died. Congratulations your mom's a demon. Wasn't this basically Tanjiro's backstory? Honestly if my mom snapped and just started killing everyone I'd probably assume they did something to deserve it. We can't blame me for that garbage dad's death. So why the fuck does your face look like that? It's fine, Tanjiro's here to do everything. This is like the fifth time this dude's died in this fight. One Piece- Still laughing at his squeaky little voice. And fuck you too, random citizens. Protect Moocy at all costs. GET OFF MY COW. These random mooks are having a rough day. Usopp accidentally starting a cult is genuinely one of my favorite things in this entire show. Hey there Cabbage. They're all so fucking stupid I love it. Hearing Pica shriek "I'LL KILL YOU!" seriously has me laughing out loud. New plan, cheese it! Moocy for next Strawhat. Again, get off my cow! Joke's on you our boy's immune to blunt force trauma. Well that guy's gonna need a facelift. Fujitora made the rookie mistake of underestimating a cult. I really hope that snail didn't get blinded just to match its owner. Kyros hopping across the street is still unreasonably funny to me. You can do it Dilf I believe in you. Bartolomeo continues to be an absolute goddamn mood. You can just let them take Rebecca. Meanwhile I guess we just have this decapitated titan in the middle of the street forever now. Guys maybe we shouldn't trust Zoro to be the one to locate something. Don't hurt Moocy! God Zoro's so cool. What factory. I don't know what it is but somehow One Piece is the only show that can really pull off the "loud idiots bickering with each other at the drop of a hat" trope. MY WIFE. I would take a bullet for that cow. In case you forgot, Law's still here regretting every moment of his life. I like that Franky is the only one who actually remembers that factory. Pantsless Fight, continue! Kyros has some ridiculous balance to stay upright on that one leg. Date me Kyros I'll get your daughter some pants. Don't underestimate Zoro like that, dudes. He's so goddamn cool. Law's seen some shit. Tell us about your PTSD, Traffy. Barto, still having the best day ever. Oh hey, Viola. Amigo look around the criminals are the only ones doing shit around here. Always remember, fuck the government. Your highness, meet our lord and savior Pinocchio Jesus. The tontotta are so precious I'd die for them. For fuck's sake don't trust Rebecca to do anything. On the flip side I would trust Bartolomeo with my life without a second thought. Everyone loves Luffy. One day the mooks will collectively learn that bullets are useless against a kid made of rubber but today is not that day.

I am not immune to a basic "this big guy has a silly voice" joke. Demon Slayer- Still kinda rooting for the fish monsters here. We need a sword immediately so let's stand here chatting for five minutes before we grab the sword. Never trust shit from the Pottery Barn clearance shelf. Boobs, finally! I don't think that guy coughing up blood is doing okay. Wow these guards are a fucking embarrassment. Ooh cool whip sword. I change my mind I'm rooting for Boobs Mcgee entirely in this arc and no one else. Oh right, Tanjiro was doing something. I hope the rest of this fight is just the siblings trading off who gets to be unconscious and who gets to haul the other one around like a sack of potatoes. This could be going better. Hold on bro let her cook here. Yeah sure I got time show me your shitty art. Your art is ugly! Are we supposed to know who literally any of these people are with identical masks? Oh, it generates those ugly vases. Those fish are really going through it. Fuck off nerds. Poison spikes, never seen that before in this show. I hate all his creepy little baby hands the most in this design. So now that Nezuko's good and pissed off y'all can actually do something. EXPLODING BLOOD SWORD does sound cool as hell. I mean that one guy also had a strong desire to bone three women at once and I support that more than the saving lives thing. Eat shit, douchebags. Alright that final attack actually was cool as hell. We beat them with the power of friendship and this gun I found. Congratulations your new friend's a demon and you're gonna have to put him down like Old Yeller. Not really an appropriate time for after-credits shenanigans, guys. One Piece- What factory. Fujitora's a good dude. I like that he just drops Law like a bag of dirty laundry. Who's that? Oh my god his voice. These henchmen have way more willpower than I do, I'm already cracking up. MY WIFE. God I love Baby 5. That's a hell of a backstory, my dude. That's surprisingly heartwarming coming from him. Usopp's not having a great time today. I need to know what kind of glue Rebecca's using to control her tits. Me too, Barto. Doflamingo's gang doesn't get to have any fun here. Oh right, Franky's still doing stuff. The tontottas dropping Usopop is never not funny to me. Bartolomeo is genuinely the best character in this arc. That was close, Rebecca almost had to do anything in this fight. Meanwhile I have zero memory of what Kinemon is doing here. Fuck these buildings in particular. I'm pretty sure that's a titan. Alright gang:D remember you gotta aim for the back of the neck. That voice fucking killed me. Oh no you hurt his feelings. The Gay Agenda there skipping down the street is also hilarious. Law, still having the fucking worst day. Luffy you're made of rubber you literally can't be squashed. I wonder how many times Usopp's broken his nose throughout the series. Fujitora's blind ass has to be so fucking confused about what just happened. Law's fine he only wishes he was dead. Oh hey Harry Styles. I swear I'll stop trying to kill y'all now. HAT! Oh hey thanks Cabbage. You give that boy a 10-pack of McNuggets and he'll destroy your local government for you. "Cabbage, his parents really named him that?" Oh yeah random schmucks this'll go great for you. For the love of god don't let Zoro go off alone. Oh hey Angry Santa. My guy just tell him you're friends now. Oh hey thanks Angry Santa. Oh hey thanks giant man. Oh hey thanks egg king. Oh hey thanks random guys. Everyone loves Usopp. There are zero brain cells in this scene. Here you go, have some dudes to fight. MOOCY! I love that cow so fucking much. They're all so goddamn stupid. Pica's having a mental breakdown, guys. That voice is genuinely ridiculous. They helped!

Between Garp, Kuina's dad, and now Cobra, can confirm that Dilf Piece is real.

Genuinely never thought we'd see the end of Naruto on Toonami. I mean I'm 100% not because I jumped ship years ago, put props to anyone who stuck around. Demon Slayer- Still rooting for the child-eating fish monster here. Okay so the fish monster is also immorta- oh wait guess not. Not now kiddo we've got shit to do. Yeah sure he's got super amnesia. Meanwhile Tanjiro is dying, again. How does this boy have any organs that aren't shredded beyond function anymore. This is the old "Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?" conundrum at work. Nezuko in her contractually-mandated five minutes of screentime this week. That guy's not having a good time. GUN. Can't fight if you've got your sword stuck in my organs, huh? Seeing that pistol in action around all these swords is endlessly funny to me. I feel nothing for this guy. Local dumbass too angry to die. Ride the lightling, bitch! NO MY BABY. Well now you've just got her pissed off. I forgot she could do the fire thing. I'll give this show one thing, at least it's equal-opportunity with its violence. Are the bullets magic or is he just constantly reloading offscreen? That seems like some surprisingly accurate bird science. And then Tanjiro electrocuted himself trying to free his sister. I wish Nezuko didn't have to turn into some weeb's big titty waifu to do anything cool. Whelp, they're dead. That's a lot of fish. BOOBS AHOY. Girl how are you not falling out of that top. They managed to do an entire episode without doing the poorly-timed painful attempt at comedy. I don't even mind the stupid gag bit here at the end. One Piece- Seriously Robin you can just leave Rebecca there. Law do you think this boy ever knows what he's doing. Joke's on you Luffy will fight literally anyone if you give him a 10-piece box of nuggets. Meanwhile nobody's having a great time here. You're a doctor you can just cut off your own hands to get the cuffs off, don't be a baby. YEET. Law regretting the choices he's made is my favorite running joke. Sorry boss I got turned into a marketable plushie. I love Koala so much she's adorable. Girl's got some moves. Yes some of those are cries of rage but no dude I'm pretty sure a lot of them are just cries of terror. Well gang let's all sit back and have some wine. I appreciate that everyone hates Trebol. Unmedicated Grandpa still cracks me up. I may not understand these bitches' thirst for this large baby man but game recognize game. Stealth Franky doing a surprisingly great job here. Hey do y'all see an inflatable lunatic carrying a man who's 99% regret? Zoro getting lost is my other favorite running gag. "Some weird swimming man baby grabbed me!" The ultimate attack, a man in a leotard being hideously obese. I genuinely like Fujitora I hope he doesn't end up being an asshole.

Franky's cannon hair continues to be delightful. Demon Slayer- That solves our sword problem, arc's over. This show has such a weird, tonally inconsistent, and poorly timed sense of comedy. What in the fuck. This is supposed to be funny, I guess? I have zero memory of this guy. I truly hate this child. I told you we already have a Bakugo and he's dressed like a feral hog, we don't need a discount version! Tanjiro kiddo what the hell is wrong with you? Nezuko time! You're a sweet kid but that guy fucking hates you. I miss Tits McGee. I'm sure that vase isn't some kind of trap. Aaaand you're dead. Oh right, these weird jackasses are in the plot. We get it, he's a certified good boy. Looks like Nezuko is gonna be the single bright spot in this arc. For the love of god just kill each other already. Hey look, the plot's happening. Bro you're the one who crawled in here to fight us. Every time Nezuko gets to do something I smile and clap my hands like a small, delighted child. Well that was easy. Cut his head off and he develops a new personality. Fingers crossed that these two are less annoying than their original form. GUN. Okay the super gun is a genuinely fun idea. Ah shit we've got a hydra situation. Alright Nezuko time to grow wings. And then everyone died. Meanwhile, fish. Yeah sure go ahead and let it eat this shitty child. I said let it eat the shitty child! One Piece- Whelp, we're fucked. This is why nobody likes you, Doflamingo. I like Fujitora he's a good dude. What factory. Kinemon no she's like sixteen. Me too Barto. Holy shit, Sniper King is Usopp? Y'know what I'm genuinely happy for Barto here having the best day of his life. Hey everybody looks like you owe Riku and Rebecca an apology. On the other hand I do like money. Uh hey guys you forgot to turn on the subtitles. Alright boyfriend let's see how well you can use that new devil fruit. Fujitora must be so goddamn confused right now. Holy shit good job Usopp. I can't believe this cult is already falling apart. There he go. Yes Doflamingo is an absolute bag of dicks but he's so cool. This random guy's right, it might be bad to violently murder your king who you just found out was innocent of the heinous crimes you blamed him for. Yeah sure bring them in alive so Doflamingo can personally torture them to death. Oh hey, somebody remembered the factory. "Talk loud get plowed" genuinely made me laugh for a solid 30 seconds. Great job at the stealth, Franky. Trebol continues to be the most viscerally disgusting character I've ever seen. Great plan leave the factory unguarded, nothing can go wrong with that. Robin you know damn well asking Zoro for his location is a moot point. Good news Rebecca your dad is hot as fuck, I'm your new mom and we're gonna get you some pants. New objective: put that flamingo on the endangered species list.

I completely forgot about all of that so thanks for the recap. Even at my most weeb I'm not gonna care about Rick & Morty. Demon Slayer- Don't all the hashira know about Nezuko? Is this guy a hashira or am I confusing him for a different character with a near-identical design? Oh, he's a douche. If you've made Tanjiro hate you, you've really fucked up. I don't know what's up with this show constantly going into Wonky-Eyed Silly Mode all the time. He absconded with our village sex doll. Obviously he has six arms to jerk off six dongs at once. Tanjiro every face in this show looks damn near identical. Oh, I fucking hate this crow immediately. Thank god I'm never having kids because I wouldn't wanna saddle my descendants with any of my memories. Y'all better bring back the boobs before I lose interest. Fuck off, guy. This bitch bird has the exact same vibes as that bitch fairy from Black Clover and I hate that I remember anything about that show. Surprise kiddo, it's a training arc. YELLING IS SHORTHAND FOR COMEDY RIGHT? Oh great he turned into a Twitter comment feed. Am I supposed to like anybody in this arc at all? God I miss Inosuke. What the fuck is going on. I swear I'm really trying to give this season a chance but to my core I am a hater. Stop breaking all your swords! It's a pinata full a swords. Oh that sword's definitely possessed. One Piece- Thank god he's hot because I am contractually obligated to simp for Luffy's buff older brother with fire powers. We've activated Law's PTSD. Time for some well-deserved violence, gang. Obligatory fuck you, Steven Tyler. There are definitely characters I hate more than Trebol but none give me such a visceral feeling of unwavering disgust. Ah hell now there's two flamingos. No seriously what the hell is going on here. And then Luffy died. Okay new plan let's get somebody with a giant pair of scissors in here. Well clearly Doflamingo's real power is triggering everyone's PTSD. Don't ask questions just take the excuse to skedaddle. Oh this isn't gonna go well. Law, still chained to a chair and having a Vietnam flashback. Whelp, we're boned. Quick somebody start digging a tunnel. Fujitora says no to whatever the hell's going on. Good fucking luck, random civilians. Hey now running off with the entire damn castle is cheating. I don't think cities are supposed to move like that. "Eat shit, citizens!" Neat, let's kill a dude! Oh fuck you, guy.

Thank god somebody hot got the fire fruit because my love is contractually obligated to go with it. Demon Slayer- I have zero memory of what happened besides that large man with fat tits and three wives. So do we know what happened to this guy's face? Hey didn't you kill my boyfriend that one time? I hope everybody's impressed by this sweet elevator animation. Oh I don't like whatever this snake weirdo is. I hate all of you already. I take it back, cautiously optimistic that this one I might fuck. Oh hey, is our main villain actually going to do something this season and also wasn't he like twelve last time we saw him? The who and/or what now? I am deeply uncomfortable with whatever this baby-handed freak is into. Just show me his face is this one fuckable or not? Oh nevermind, I can't fuck that. Hey who wants to join my cult. Is this a flash forward to grown up Tanjiro or a flash back to his dad, I can't tell. What the fuck is happening here. That's a hell of a long nap, kiddo. Show me my loud idiot son. MY FERAL HOG SON. Show I don't care about this jackass. Wacky faces and shouting are the key to comedy, right? I have zero memory of any of these people. Oh thank god, Zenitsu's not here. Legend has it he's banging those wives nonstop to this day. MY FERAL HOG SON, AGAIN. Inosuke continues to be the single bright spot in this show. Y'know what I'll allow this random honey badger explanation. Should we know who this cat is? I wonder if Nezuko gets to be in the show this week. God I hate Zenitsu so much. Maybe you should stop throwing swords during your fights. This seems unnecessarily secretive. Yep this sure is a generic village alright. Hey boobs. This old man is already annoying me. I could have just watched an hour of Forged in Fire with my dad, show. Boobs ahoy. Shut up. Do we know this guy? Sorry dude we've already got our Discount Bakugo and he comes with a fun pig mask. Oh hey, Nezuko exists. We do all love Nezuko. I respect a girl who can eat. Okay she's a mood. Is the secret weapon another sword in the swordsmith village? The dude you're looking for is dead, calling it now. Who's this asshole? We have the same earrings, we must be related. Words cannot express the pure sense of dread I feel at the realization that Inosuke isn't in this arc. MY FERAL HOG SON, LAST TIME. One Piece- For the love of god show me if this man is hot already. You can just drop Rebecca in the water. Koala! Meanwhile Usopp accidentally starts a cult. Dismantle the oppressive establishment board by board! Fuck off, Jesus. Fuck off, Steven Tyler. Joke's on you he doesn't have bones right now. Oh hey, that guy. No don't have him put more clothes on. Barto is a gift we don't deserve. HE'S HOT YES GOOD. Or as I like to call him, my replacement boyfriend. Just twist that knife, show. They did remarkably well for themselves as three kids wailing on grown men with pipes. Tiny Ace, before he grew up to be buff as shit and then died. He may be my new boyfriend but I am 100% shipping Sabo and Koala. FISH PUNCH. Guns are bad, y'all. Oh right, shit's going down on the street. Meanwhile, Franky. Meanwhile meanwhile, Zoro's lost again. Every time Kinemon shows up in that outfit it cracks me up. Me too, Koala. I forgot Robin spent the time skip hanging out with the revolutionaries. Barto, having the best day ever. Holy shit, Sniper King is Usopp!? And mow, more dilf action. Snap my neck and throw me out a window next, I mean what. My wife! Law, still having the worst fucking day. They're all idiots, I love it. Oh, that's not good. Well that sounds ominous as shit.

1. Calls self Toonami Guy 2. Is a constant, unrelenting killjoy about everything related to Toonami at all times 3. Playing the role of Internet Tough Guy on an extremely niche cartoon message board is cool and doesn't just make you seem like an annoying chore to interact with, right guys? Anyways, cut the bullshit and bring back Perfect Hair Forever.

"One cock to save the world" is a slogan that I need on multiple pieces of merchandise. 10/10 this looks hilarious.

How many times must I watch an attractive man with fire powers be fisted through the chest on this block?

TFW you black out from the extra spicy hot sauce and wake up as the leader of a brand new cult. One Piece- I wonder how many times Usopp's nose has gotten broken in this show. Eat shit, small child. Thanks for the focus on Robin's tits and ass returning, I'm not even saying that srcastically. Lot of Pinocchio moments going on here. Man that guy with the arm really lucked out at the last second there. I genuinely enjoy Senior Pink. I'm glad Doflamingo is having a shitty day now. Somebody get Usopp some water asap. That guy's shirt cracked me up. Oh right, Zoro's still here. I love these dumb little bastards so much. He is not One Poco! Lot of fights going down right now. This entire country's gonna need some therapy after today. Everybody hates Doflamingo, but for real this time. Oooh that is one angry flamingo. Meanwhile Law, having a slightly better day than before. DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF. Man that dude has some incredible balance with only the one leg. I hope Franky hooks him up with a cool new cyborg leg after this. He's so cool. Well damn that was easy. Date me I'll buy your daughter some pants. Luffy's just mad he didn't get to punch him. I really wish I liked Rebecca more but I'll put up with her for her hot dad. Sweetie get up you're in the middle of a life or death fight. SHOW ME YOUR FACE ARE YOU HOT. I love Bartolomeo so much. Goddamn he's cool. Koala! Oh right, the murder fish. Not now, Steven Tyler! Maybe y'all shouldn't have put the fruit on the chest if you didn't want somebody eating it. Save Barto he's the best. Please be hot and fill this Ace-shaped hole in my life. Stop teasing me, show! Can somebody kill Trebol now? Boot. I hope you're taking him to a hospital. Have you heard of our lord and savior Pinocchio Jesus? Fucking fantastic timing with that spotlight. And that's how Usopp accidentally started a cult. No but seriously please get our boy some medical attention. What factory.

DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF- One Piece- I love it when Usopp grows a pair and gets to do something. Beat up that child, Usopp. Everyone hates Doflamingo. Flashback time! That's one big 9th grader. Riku's a good dude. Here child, come murder people for public entertainment. Calm down kiddo it's just sports. So then, these spectators have always sucked. Shut up king you're not my real dad! You win enough fights and people start liking you. Someone give this guy a hug. Well I guess you got your wish eventually, buddy. Ricky is still a hilarious name to use as an alias. Oh he got real hot. Me too, fangirls. Rebecca your mom sucks. Date me. Don't we all dream of a large shirtless man launching out of the ocean to save us from our problems? Aww this is cute. Just let them get married who gives a fuck. And then she died. Get that dick, girl. That sound you hear is me chanting DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF like the Bill Nye song. Awww this is so cute now the inevitable tragedy hurts even more. Shit's on fire, yo. Dilf no save yourself! This is why everyone hates you, Doflamingo. Oh hey, Monet. That man's weird choice of syllable emphasis makes me irrationally angry. I hate this child! Oh right, there's probably a reason why Solider only has one leg. Doflamingo's having a great time here. Hey dude I'm gonna kill your family why don't you join me? Kyros is so cool. THIS SHITTY KID. Obligatory fuck you, Steven Tyler. This was one hell of a delayed Monkey's Paw ironic wish. Oh right, the aforementioned tragedy. Oh man she died having no memory of her husband that sucks hard. Poor dude can't even cry. Oh right, this episode was supposed to be about Usopp. Meanwhile, this building is not structually satisfactory. Beat his ass, boyfriend! I KILLED MUFASA. I wish I liked Rebecca more. Girl definitely got that massive rack from her dad. Even Franky lost, this is a terrible day! I love the Tontotta so much. Everyone loves Usopp. Goddammit Usopp! Not the nasty spice grape. That grape would 100% kill me. That face. That'd be my reaction too. Somehow, he won.

It turns out that if a man is hot and stupid enough, I am willing to overlook him walking around covered in shit. Zombies- Seriously guy, fuck off. How dare other people be happy, am I right? Sorry buddy, your dad's dying. Good dads aren't allowed to be happy in anime. This is clearly not a trap for the terrible douchebag. Oh right, that one girl was a makeup artist. Yeah sure this counts as cosplay in a pinch. Now beat this kid's ass. Yes it's wrong you stupid asshole! Ahaha, get fucked loser. Sorry show you're not gonna trick me into having empathy for this sack of shit. They were literally trying to be your friends, jackass. Uh Akira you might not wanna get to close to his mouth. Hey look, he actually did one decent thing in his life at the very end. Why is this man still covered in shit. WEEB AHOY. Ah shit, we're fucked. Oh my god it's that guy! I'd die for you, old treehouse man. Boyfriend you're gonna scrape your balls again. Yes the giant censor bar is funny but please douse that man in disinfectant already. Don't worry, I can hate him enough for both of us. Awww dad. I'm glad Treehouse Man found a new home. God he's hot. Oh right, the tragedy. Aaaand I'm crying. What. They got me there, I'm not even mad. Boyfriend just whip your dick out again. I love these idiots. I could do without the buttchugging, thanks. Where do y'all keep finding gas for that RV? One Piece- Trebol is the fucking worst. Oh no, Robin. Meanwhile Franky's still having a great time. Meanwhile meanwhile, Viola's not having a great time. Goddammit Usopp don't fuck this up. Get your ass back there, you jackass! You poor gullible little bastards, he's ditched you. I can appreciate how much Sugar hates Trebol because girl, mood. Wall-eyed Leo there is really going through it. I too believe in the teachings of Pinocchio Jesus. Sometimes Usopp really sucks. Oh no, my babies! And some say, Usopp's balls grew three sizes that day. GODDAMMIT USOPP. And now they're all crying, great job. FINALLY. I love it in an arc when Usopp grows a pair and gets shit done. Please kill Trebol. We stan the hero Usoland.

Tonight's theme is Good Dads Are Suffering. Zombies- Oh right, this douchebag's here. Ah shit your dad's about to die. I hope the dog's not dead. DOG NO. Congratulations boyfriend you have now adopted this child. Oh fuck you, guy. Please don't kill my boyfriend. Please don't kill my big titty weeb. Horse no! Well she's got a chainsaw, we're kinda fucked here. It's fine, the old people are ready to die. Oh I do not like where we're going with that ugly fucker. I love our good boy. Oh this is gonna hurt. We get it show, these people suck. I am deeply uncomfortable with this. Maybe you'd have more luck with women if you weren't so gross and weird. Girl you take this opportunity and run the fuck away right now. God I love this weeb. It's not everybody else's fault that you suck and are terrible. Beat his ass, boyfriend! Goddamn this is my dream man. Boyfriend that was a read dumb idea. BOYFRIEND NO. I don't know what I was expecting with that setup. Shut up and run, boomers. Shizuka sweetie this dumb bastard doesn't understand half those words just run. FUCK YEAH, GRANDPA. Surprise assist from the boomers here. I'd die for you, weeb. And now it's time for everything to get depressing. I genuinely was not expecting for this horrible little douchebag to do anything helpful- YOU SON OF A BITCH. One Piece- Obligatory Fuck You, Steven Tyler. There's something very funny about the guy who always gets lost fighting a sentient building from which he can't escape. Blink, motherfucker! Aim for his brick dick, probably. Who's this douchebag? Please don't blow up this nice dad. Fuck you, guy! Lady you're barking up the wrong tree here telling Luffy not to fight a dude. And then he exploded. WINDOW, GO. I forgot Kinemon's outfit and genuinely cracked up there. Viola, Luffy literally doesn't know what the concept of having a plan is. Meanwhile, my wife is here and Law is still having the worst fucking day. Soldier having only a slightly less terrible time here. Oh no our adorable little friends. Leo is precious and I love him. For fuck's sake Usopp grow a pair and help them. Just have Robin sprout some extra arms and choke that kid out. I would give up immediately if I had to get within 20 feet of Trebol. This is the most adorably sad fight I've ever seen. We're doing it! AW SHIT THEY GOT ROBIN. Our team officially has zero brain cells now.

Dang it we were so close to timing that reveal about Rebecca's dad for actual Father's Day. Zombies- I'm sure that girl did the best she could with his hair. My boyfriend is going to plow at least one of these cute girls and probably get her killed. This is going so well, it's gonna hurt when that douchebag destroys the village. Meanwhile Shizuka is not having a good time. Please let this be the one time my boyfriend doesn't whip his dick out. Oh my god look at that big dog. God I love this idiot. Date me. Meanwhile our weeb is having the best time. I hope she gets to fight a zombie bear. For a second there I almost forgot this guy is here and fucking sucks. Your dad's dying, buddy. I like the pig-shaped stove there. Senku would support this old man's dream. Why do I feel like I'm gonna be crying by the end of this. Oh right, the plot. I hope all of these dickbags get eaten. And here we are, a guy so trash even I won't fuck him. YOU ARE THE WORST. Where the fuck did you get dynamite!? This is why we can't have nice things, show. God I love this weeb. Thank god that dog is okay. No seriously, what the fuck is your deal? Oh yeah, how dare some dudes be happy. Akira is a good boy. OH NO WHERE'S THE DOG. One Piece- Wouldn't it be funny if Trebol just accidentally squashed Sugar with that boat? Meanwhile Rebecca's here to suck at this. God I hope Sabo's hot under that mask. Oh fuck you, Steven Tyler. Man, I really love that outfit on Robin. Did we just get crushed by a big duck? OH NO MY BABIES. Goddammit you trusting little bastards! Honestly I'd probably choose burning to death over being covered in mucus any longer. Shit's on fire, yo. At least he saved that terrible grape. I'd die for the Tontotta. Meanwhile meanwhile, we're still losing to Unmedicated Grandpa here. Previously, Doflamingo fucking sucks. I'm sure this Kyros guy won't be important later. Soldier is best dad. I kinda hate Rebecca a lot. Solder, out! Yes yes we're all very surprised he's the gladiator, just show me if he's hot.

Tonight's theme is Fathers Having A Bad Time. Zombies- I hope his parents aren't dead. Your friend's gonna fuck your parents. Here's hoping nobody steals your trailer. Look out its' a feral hog! God I love this weeb. I've known this man for 30 seconds and I would die to protect him. Fuck it let's build a tree house. What are the odds we see the Zombie Lorax next? His son's definitely dead. Oh now this got depressing. Someone hug this old man right now. Okay that is a really sweet tree house. Somehow they found a way for my boyfriend to get naked. Happy Father's Day, y'all. Your family is safe by virtue of being an absolute pain in the ass to visit. Oh I got a real bad feeling about this. What. Oh thank god they're okay. Way to ruin a moment, asshole. Bea's having a great time here. Akira is a good boy. Oh fuck his dad's dying. Who's this douchebag? Oh no what the fuck are you doing. Yeah we get it being a grownup sucks. Oh this is the evil version of the gang. I hate this boy so much. One Piece- God Zoro's so cool. You've left him on his own, he will never be found again. The floor might not be lava but it is an ugly man's punchable face. This episode is brought to you by the letter G. Speaking of Father's Day, Soldier is not having a good one. Oh hey look, it's a factory. You loeave my adorable fairy friends alone. This makes me sad. I need to kill that man with my bare hands. Thank god Robin's here with the brain cells. Trebol is one of the most viscerally disgusting characters I've ever seen in a show. For fuck's sake Usopp grow a pair and help those adorable little bastards. In case you needed the reminder, kids suck. Alright guys Plan B just jam it down her gullet. Oh my god they're so dumb. Well, at least they're adorable toys. Well this plan went right the hell off the rails. Robin, out! Fuck this swan boat in particular.

I welcome our new Big Titty German Weeb Queen. Zombies- I just pulled a muscle watching that yoga. I love this dumbass and his stupid suit. Player 2 has entered teh game. WEEB. She gives me the same vibes as that one guy from that episode of Champloo. Dang look at the cans on that weeb. Don't kid yourself her reason has to be way dumber than that. Y'know what I can respect her dream for unlimited food. If our sushi chef is dead I'm gonna cry. Oh my god there's two of them. Please tell me he-yes thank god they found a way to make him naked. This may be my perfect man. Whelp, we're boned. I would die for these idiots. Did we always have a drone? Thank god Shizuka's carrying the team's only brain cells. Good job gang you've earned this. I'm happy for her. Awwww this chef is so sweet. I love this weeb so much. I'd be rooting for my boyfriend to get laid but i don't want him to kill this one too. Oh right, for a minute there I forgot that Shizuka's personality sucks. They're so fucking stupid. We don't deserve this big titty weeb. Stupid cockblocking zombies. You're in an ongoing apocalypse stop playing hard to get. Aww this is a genuinely nice moment between these two. Cockblock part 2 but at least this time it's funny. One Piece- Doflamingo must really hate that kid if he stuck her on a team with Trebol. Usopp is not having a good time here. Leo is a good boy and I love him. Meanwhile, fuck you Jesus. That's a lot of fish. Not today, fish! Great job Rebecca you tried and immediately failed. Beat his ass, replacement boyfriend! Goddamn he's cool. Barto is an eternal mood. I like that somebody's just how realizing hey that's not Luffy. I wish I liked Rebecca more but I also wish she didn't suck so bad. Meanwhile, fingers crossed that Toy Soldier turns into a hot dilf soon. Look out, grandpa's off his meds again. What. Meanwhile meanwhile we join our fight with a sentient wall already in progress. Oh right, Kinemon ran off too. Wicca's not having a great time today. Oh my god please tell me he's dressed like Doflamingo. Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile, Franky is actually having a pretty good time here. Senior Pink says fuck the police. "He's all strength and no pants" might be my favorite line of this arc. God Zoro's so cool.

Every once in a blue moon I look at a character and pat myself on the back for having the bare minimum level of standards. Good job, me. Zombies- Puppy! Wow, a dad so garbage even I won't fuck him. This guy's asking very important questions here in the apocalypse, can you fuck the zombies? I'm gonna enjoy seeing this douche get murdered by zombies. You're not my boss! I am deeply uncomfortable. Oh this girl was fucked up from birth. I am extremely concerned for the adorable puppy. PUPPY NO! Somebody please kill him. My inner rage is screeching like a rabid howler monkey. Meanwhile is my dipshit boyfriend okay? These random baseball boys are about to get everyone killed. My dipshit's back! Goddammit Akira grow a pair and get out of there! Our boy's got some serious battered wife syndrome. Hey, she's finally kinda likeable. Now get yourself a puppy. I'm proud of you, buddy. Genuinely surprised this jackass didn't immediately hit him with a bat. And now everyone gets murdered by zombies. Everybody get in the van. My boyfriend gets every woman he touches killed so maybe he'll cancel out my own curse. Please just let him die. Maybe get off the truck before you blow it up. Fuck off and die, douche. One Piece- Can you really call it a stupid disguse when it fooled you too? Wicca no! Good news you won't keep getting lost but bad news you don't get to ride in Zoro's tits anymore. Genuinely surprised Zoro managed to follow a single direction. I'm sure this is normal. Uh hey I think your wall's got a tumor you might wanna get that checked out. Wall dude, go! Quit lookin' at me with them big ol' eyes. Let's try an experiment, can you punch a pile of bricks right in the nuts? It'll be fine, rubber's immune to blunt force trama. Meanwhile, the pantsless fight continues. I'd tell these hoes to have some standards but we all know I don't have the kind of track record to back that up. Play Freebird! Franky's GUN HAIR constantly cracks me up. Stop drop and roll, Franky! Oh no his hair's ruined. I like that they actually give him time to do his hair. Meanwhile meanwhile, Usopp is trying his best. Harry Styles is not having a good time here. Ah fuck Trebol's here. That sound you hear is my entire body cringing in visible disgust. Surprise, you're a toy now. Having everyone forget about him is a special level of hell for Cabbage in particular. New plan, poison this child. As someone with the spice tolerance of a six-month old baby, that grape would absolutely kill me.