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Someone's been reading Marie Kondo.

I fortunately don't smoke cigarettes anymore, but I vape like a fiend. It doesn't help that there's so much more nicotine in the pen I use than cigarettes. I will need the aid of the patch when I decide to quit.

Gee, thanks

I mentioned it here and there since the old boards. It's not something I bothered being too open about.

Since I came out my mother's vagina.

She was born right before the fall of the Soviet Union and was adopted by Russian Americans. She speaks Russian fluently.

You seem to have an ass eating obssesion lately . . .

No, I don't mean romantically. We're both dual citizens (her being Russian and American, me being Japanese and American), and we're both pretty nerdy and interested in each other's cultures. It's been a while since I clicked this quickly with a new worker. Life sometimes throws pleasant surprises at you, I guess.

lol, I don't like to drink and I'm antisocial af.

😱

I once had a Red Lobster order to a nice house and the Karen called me, screaming that I stole her crab legs. I was so close to telling her off.

They did, it was a moderate amount, like 4 or 5 dollars, probably just the amount the app recommends for a tip.

I had a Taco Bell doordash order to a huge house with nothing but Audis in their driveway. Just cause they can afford wagyu filet mignons everyday, it doesn't mean they still don't like junk food.

AIDS

Go borrow an ASVAB for Dummies book from the library. If you have trouble just reading the text, not necessarily the questions themselves, forget it.

These days, The Tortoise and the Hare

He wants to fuck Asian whores, like all of them.

I'm gonna be honest, there is no way you'd be allowed to join the military. There's always volunteer fire.

I say choose your battles wisely with your woman. In this case, I'd say give in and agree with her. As for my actual opinion, I say it depends. If it's a large holiday dinner, family members should help. If it's just a standard meal, the cook should clean.

We were so overwhelmed at my old job, and all that management cared about was their QA scores. It makes you wonder why they have such a high turnover rate.

When you close on a house. [gif of fugg's O face from being pounded by MH]

hubb is ｎｏｗ ｆｕｃｋｉｎｇ ｗｉｔｈ ｓｏｍｅ ｗｅｔ ａｓｓ ｐｕｓｓｙ

Romans fucked and gluttoned, and then some Jesus bullshit came along, when the fucker was actually born in September, meaning the Virgin Mary was a lascivious whore during the Saturnalia.

😱

The trick is to sniff the coffee grinds and make a codeine. Underrated, powerful speedball.