You don't need to drink or use substances to find a partner, or go to bars for that matter. I don't think you want to be with someone under the influence while you're sober anyway.
My advice is to not divulge this information here, as you know another argument will probably happen where what you said here will be used against you. Create a throwaway account on reddit and bleed your heart out. More eyes will see what you type, so you have a better and/or worse chance of getting good advice.